I would think it would make cleaning your ass easier...it would be like a bidet.

Heh. Great minds think alike!

But, alas, someone got intelligent and closed the water inlet with a screwdriver. On finding that little trick out, however, we found it funny to shut off all the toilets but leave the urinals running in the other halls. There is no greater sense of dread than to hit the flush lever and hear silence.

I dyed my cat red with food coloring last month - she looked really cool!

Hmm.. that works?

In a word.

Yes.


In many words:

Yes, but only on white cats because the color isn't very strong and doesn't dye hair. Cats will eventualy lick it out. Some cats may be allergic to some of the specific food coloring though..

You could always try Kool-Aid.

Kool Aid is BAD for cats cause it has the flavouring and the smell to it.

Cats have a very sensitive sense of smell and the Kool-Aid will probably really stink to them.

If you really want to piss off a cat, spray some perfume in it's front 'arm pits'...they can't lick it off there and it'll stink and REALLY piss them off...

I am sure Kool-Aid is bad for cats. But I know it dyes human hair pretty well. /shrug.

Another good way to piss off a cat is to roll up a little piece of scotch tape and put it on the bottom of the cat's paws. Sounds evil, I know. But usually they get it off pretty quickly.

When I was little I would attach those little bells that are meant to go on their collars to their tails.
Then I'd scare them to make them run...which would cause the bell to ring and them to think that something was chasing them...

When you pair that with the sticky tape and slipery hardwood floors...it's quite a sight...

Oh and if you REALLY want to see something bizzare...give your cat valerian root extract.

I don't mean the root itself, I mean the extract in liquid form.

It's like extacy for cats...they'll do some really odd stuff after that.

We use to have a cat that could sniff out catnip, no matter where we hid it. One day he had found the bag of catnip in the highest kitchen cabinet. When we got home, the entire kitchen floor was covered in catnip and he was lying in the middle of the floor on his back, making weird REEOOWWRR sounds. It looked like he had O.D.ed on it.

Well the thing is catnip in the normal form is a herb and it needs to be digested to be absorbed...in other words slow as hell.

The extract does not need to be digested, it's almost instantly thrown into the blood stream.

Here is the difference. A slow gradual dose of valerian root will make you calm, relaxed, and somewhat sleepy. A sudden dose on the other hand will make the cat appear to be 'high', they'll run about in circles, attempt to walk on twos, do back flips, try to stand on their front paws, bounce off walls, attack invisible objects.

I'm really not sure if there are any harmfull effects from it. I gave v. extract to stray cats in Russia because my grand parents had a ton of it and Russia had a ton of stray cats. It was fun to see the cats do insane things...and they seemed to like it cause they came back for more....

Oh and a study of the effect of valerian exteact on animals/people:

http://www.mcp.edu/herbal/valerian/valerian.pdf

yeah - she has white parts and thats what turned red - she left red spots n everything for weeks. I am going to try the valerian thing.

My dad used to have a three-footed cat. It had four legs, but only three feet. He called it his "three foot pussy with claws".

I also used to love throwing little rocks at it. It was so much fun to watch it run away.

mean cat trick
 

not that *I* endorse this, but I know someone who did it in a fit of anger...

Cut off it's whiskers.

I am now in the doghouse with Dagney. <waves>

Brian

Ugh, why would you do that?? Don't they have nerves in their whiskers? And the whiskers never grow back?

Whoops. After careful reading, I see that YOU did not actually do it. :)

The whiskers do grow back. My cat's did, at least.

I don't know what happened, but I came home one day and his whiskers were just little nubs. He was clumsy until they grew back, but now they're as long as they should be.

I can't rule out the possibility that he's a regenerating mutant, though. I guess I'll know for sure about a month after I've gotten him fixed.

Hey, Juju ... maybe if you repeat your experiment with a white cat instead of white paper ...

Might be difficult to determine which is dye and which is your blood all over the cat's fur. You might want to spend $1 on a different color.

I would like to submit that the best way to piss off a cat is to piss ON the cat.

meanwhile, I'm calling peta on all of you. :D

My cats have singed their wiskers off with candles before, they grow back.

My brother use to have what must have been the dumbest cat on earth. He (the cat) hopped up onto a coffee table once, which had a burning candle sitting on it. as he walked by, he brushed his copiously-hairy ass against the flame. As one might expect, it caught on fire. He stopped, looked at his ass, looked at my brother and very meekly meowed. My brother bolted across the room, grabbed the cat and started slapping the fire out. The sight of him spanking this cat to put the fire out has to be one of the funniest things I ever witnessed.

Our current cat is adorable, but completely boring.

Come on now - does it hurt when you get a haircut? Or shave? Does it grow back? Whiskers are hair fool. You seem to be a reasonable intelligent guy, but comments like that are scary!

Whiskers are more than just hair.

ok, I guess I was wrong - sorry juju. I just thought that since my cat loses the occasional whole whisker, and a lot of partial ones amd she seems none the worse for wear...

My cats do the same thing...I used to collect them. Some were damn long...but I lost them.

Bah, perth beat me to the post.

To justify my own post, I'll cleverly tie it all back to the original thread:

Does your cat pee in the shower?

but I found this

I can't really find anything that clearly says whether the nerves extend into the whiskers or whether they cluster at the base (I suspect the latter), but either way, it wouldn't be very nice to cut them off.

they are just hairs - just thicker and set deeper!

For the lazy or over-informed, here's the most relevant text from my link:

I have no joke here, I just like saying "spanking the cat." A lot.

On a related topic (sort of), I just finally voted on the poll and realized just how scary the tally looks as far as people who pee in the shower.

AHA! Juanita is an inside cat :)

But to get back to the topic - she drinks from the shower that I pee in. Then she licks me. Ahhh - the circle of life. (she also licks her butt though - which is worse - cat butt or human shower pee?)

Eh, no worries! It all ends up in the same place. :eek:

One of my cats refuses to drink water from a pet dish.
She will ONLY drink water from a large bowl standing on the kitchen counter...

yeah - my cat will knock over any water containing thing I try. I had to get her a huge dog dish, but she scoops the water from that onto the floor, so she now has to scavenge in the shower.

cats dont like to drink out of plastic or metal...try a coffee mug

I also tried -
Pyrex bowls of assorted sizes,
every cup I own,
plates,
etc...

The shower is easy and she does fine with it

do you put it near the food? our cats would ignore the water if it was near the food.....we had to put it in another room.


oh, btw
my coworker mike pees in the shower( he's reading over my shoulder). he's a big believer in the anti fungal properties of urine. freak!


not only does he pee in the shower, he did it once while his wife was in there with him.


ICK!

Does anyone let their cat pee in the shower?

funny you should ask.......i used to keep the cat box in an unused 1st flr shower at my old house........does that count?

lumberjim - I've been meaning to ask - shouldn't there be an "again" at the end of your sig? I have a vague recollection of it rhyming.

hmmm...I don't remember.....do they post movie scripts online? or you could rent it? I'm also told that there is no "else" in it.


oh, and what does yours mean...is a score?

Mine's just a silly pun. Length * Width = Area.

and that's a pun because.....?

is it some kind of math teacher type humor?

im afraid you'll have to break it down for me.....it escapes me

area 51?
l

Yep. Like I said. Silly. But what the heck, I like it.

It's been bothering me, because this thread reminded me of something. Now I remember:

While having the duchess to tea
She said, "Do you burp when you pee?"
I said, "Not a bit.
Do you fart when you shit?"
Which I'd say left the honors to me.

The longer you live, the more your head resembles Bruce's house full of doodads. There's a whole closet full of limericks in mine.

GOT ANY FUNNY ONES? :)

The Internet Movie Database is Your Friend.

Most films on the database have a Memorable Quotes section.

In this we find:

"It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. It does this whenever it's told."

Hey. I like that one.

*muttering* tough crowd.

OK. Here's another:

There once was a girl Anne Heiser
Who swore that no man would surprise her
But Pabst took a chance
found the Schlitz in her pants
and now she is sadder Budweiser

The author points out that one should not criticize this poem as it is just a draft.

My favorite is the set of three limericks about the women from Birmingham. But I don't know how X-rated we're allowed to be on the Cellar. UT?

Errm...I think I've just about chased anyone under 18 away..

THANKS!

Not a limerick, exactly:

Pretty Mary donned her skates,
Upon the ice to frisk;
Wasn't she a silly girl
Her little * ?


And this classic, which I'm sure I got from the Cellar BBS cookie file:

A UNIX saleslady, Lenore
Liked work but she liked the beach more.
She found a good way
To combine work and play--
She sells C shells by the seashore.

That has a certain ring to it.

If the above is your definition of poetry, then it's really not that big of a jump from piss.

TAG LINE ALERT!!!