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Inf, that one made me want to cry. Very lovely.
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It's Beginning To Look Alot Like Syphilis
By John Valby It's beginning to look a lot like syphilis all arround my nose. I picked him up at the 5 and 10, he buttfucked me once and then, He lodged a candy cane up my asshole. It's beginning to look a lot like syphilis, boy is my ass sore. But the prettiest sight to see is his pecker to his knees when I'm on all fours. A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots is much too much to ignore. First we will talk and then go for a walk but I hope he wants to do more. And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for me to fuck a whore. It's beginning to look a lot like syphilis, but I still like boys more. But the ugliest site to see is the canker that will be on my own back door. Merry Christmas, fuckers. |
Outstanding!
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Ha!
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The Buoys - Timothy
Trapped in a mine that had caved in And everyone knows the only ones left Were Joe and me and Tim When they broke through to pull us free The only ones left to tell the tale Were Joe and me Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go? Timothy, Timothy, God why don't I know? Hungry as hell no food to eat And Joe said that he would sell his soul For just a piece of meat Water enough to drink for two And Joe said to me, "I'll have a swig And then there's some for you." Timothy, Timothy, Joe was looking at you Timothy, Timothy, God what did we do? I must have blacked out just around then 'Cause the very next thing that I could see Was the light of the day again My stomach was full as it could be And nobody ever got around To finding Timothy Timothy... Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go? Timothy, Timothy, God why don't I know? |
If we're ever trapped here in the Cellar...
...You guys can eat me. |
I met Jerry Hludzik, the dude who sang that, when I worked at a small record label in 2005.
I don't think they made much money from it as they were not the songwriter. Rupert Holmes wrote it. This is the Rupert Holmes who would go on to chart success a few years later with "Escape (The Piņa Colada Song)". |
I still think 'piņa colada' sounds like a medical procedure.
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Quote:
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"My Dick"
My dick cost a late night fee Your dick got the HIV My dick plays on the double feature screen Your dick went straight to DVD My dick - bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kid's My dick - large like the Chargers, the whole team Your shit look like you fourteen My dick - locked in a cage, right Your dick suffer from stage fright My dick - so hot, it's stolen Your dick look like Gary Coleman My dick - pink and big Your dick stinks like shit My dick got a Caesar do, Your dick needs a tweezer, dude My dick is like super size Your dick look like two fries My dick - more mass than the Earth Your dick - half staff, it needs work My dick - been there done that Your dick sits there with dunce cap My dick - V.I.P. Your shit needs I.D. It's time that we let the world know Dude, you gotta let your girl go D.S. is the best in the business P.S. we got dicks like Jesus It's time that we let the world know Dude, you gotta let your girl go D.S. is the best in the business P.S. we got dicks like Jesus My dick need no introduction Your dick don't even function My dick served a whole luncheon Your dick - it look like a munchkin My dick - size of a pumpkin Your dick look like Macaulay Culkin My dick - good good lovin' Your dick - good for nothin' My dick bench pressed 350 Your dick couldn't shoplift at Thrifty My dick - pretty damn skippy Your dick - hungry as a hippie My dick don't fit down the chimney Your dick is like a kid from the Philippines My dick is like an M16 Your dick - broken vending machine My dick parts the seas Your dick farts and queefs My dick - rumble in the jungle Your dick got touched by your uncle My dick goes to yoga Your dick - fruit roll -up My dick - grade -A beef Your dick - Mayday geek My dick - sick and dangerous Your dick - quick and painless My dick - 'nuff said. Your dick loves Fred It's time that we let the world know Dude, you gotta let your girl go D.S. is the best in the business P.S. we got dicks like Jesus It's time that we let the world know Dude, you gotta let your girl go D.S. is the best in the business P.S. we got dicks like Jesus |
Ok, it was the bartender, not the waitress, but still...:jig:
I went home with a waitress the way I always do How was I to know she was with the russians, too? I was gambling in havana, I took a little risk Send lawyers, guns, and money Dad, get me out of this, hiyah! An innocent bystander Somehow I got stuck between a rock and a hard place And I'm down on my luck Yes, I'm down on my luck Well, I'm down on my luck I'm hiding in honduras, I'm a desperate man Send lawyers, guns, and money The shit has hit the fan Send lawyers, guns, and money Send lawyers, guns, and money Send lawyers, guns, and money, hiyah! Send lawyers, guns, and money, ow! I was looking around for a ride home. The bartendress said she'd take me home. And then I drank for free for an hour waiting for her to clean up and close.:) And then she took me home. Her home. :jig::cheerldr::grouphug::devil::hugnkiss::celebrat: :blunt: |
I forgot this one:...:blah:
She's a talker. |
The times are tough now
Just gettin tougher This old world is rough It's just getting rougher Cover me Come on baby cover me Well I'm lookin for a lover Who will come on in and cover me Promise me baby You won't let them find us Hold me in your arms Let's let our love blind us Cover me Shut the door and cover me Well I'm lookin for a lover Who will come on in and cover me Outside's the rain The driving snow I can hear the wild wind blowing Turn out the light Bolt the door I ain't goin' out there no more This whole world is out there Just trying to score I've seen enough don't wanna see no more Cover me Come on in and cover me I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me (some lyrics repeat until the end) ----- I tend to retreat into this one when stressed (especially in winter). It took me until I was 32 to find someone who WOULD cover me when I felt attacked. |
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