Ditto what Zip said.

If it really does happen often, somethings up. Is his work stressful? Health issues? Is the rest of your relationship working? *shrug* Everybodies different, does a different approach work? Anyway, I'm sorry for your troubles.

I just remembered your husbands deal on the cancer thread. This could just be the wrong time, but health is on the list.

Griff- please read my post #465. I think you accidently skipped it because we posted at the same time....


You know what? Nevermind. No one needs to read/hear this crap...

I just read your other post. I'm way over my head on this. I have no idea where to point you. sorry g

Cicero, surely you've been around the Cellar long enough to know that we'll listen if you need to vent - at the very least. There's such a wide mix of people here that someone may come up with helpful suggestion.
I wish that someone were me, but I'm afraid not this time. Your posts about your husband's behaviour chilled me to the marrow. It You may be right - perhaps he is using sex and your desire to be desireable to him in a power play game to control you. But if he's ill with cancer, maybe that's the only thing he thinks he can control right now?
Can you sit and talk to him about it? Could you both get to counselling?
Hugs, anyway.

This is something that you should talk to him about. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with him, and how you deal with things as they come up, but talking is really the best thing you can do right now.

Ask him why he is doing it, and figure out a solution together.

May he just needs a hand !!! ;) ;) ;)

Just kidding , talk will help .

C – If I remember correctly, I believe you stated that he asked you for a Divorce, in the Relationship Thread? Maybe he still wants it.

He could have fetishes, he doesn’t know how to tell you about.

Or he could be gay and doesn’t know how to tell you that either.

Just random thoughts. I hope things do work out for you though.

Cicero that's a horrible thing to have to deal with. No you aren't crazy to be upset by it.

Yea- I started to talk about it with him this morning. How embarassing....of course it's my fault.

He may be feeling confused about his feelings (or ratherhis lack of desire) and is normalising it in his own mind rather than dealing with it. What the reason might be for his lack of desire is a whole other story.

BOB is the universal term for Battery Operated Boyfriend ;)

Cicero - sorry to hear about this. I think you have every right to be upset.

Why is it your fault? what did the conversation reveal?

Well, one blessing about how I live my dating life is that there are possibilities, and then there are *certainties*. Friday is a certainty, as is tomorrow night, which just was cemented today. In fact, I have been holding both of these longtime friends/soon to be lovers at bay due to the carrying on with the other gal these past few months.

I know it doesn't seem like it, but I'm not really a slut. Yeah, its not perfectly great, this out of town for a week with the boyfriend thing. Perhaps when I'm drunker later on tonight I'll get on gabbly and spew my guts about my Sunday night fuckfest experience (preview: it was bad).

Like ohhhh you dirty boy bad? or bad bad?