This is me.

What did husbands do before cell phones? Buy the wrong flour? ;)

When I'm in a public place and someone is talking on a cell phone I always imagine walking up behind them and tazering them on the back of the neck. Then, as they are writhing around on the floor, a little voice is coming out of the phone, "Hello, hello, are you there?"

That makes me laugh.

I'll be your partner in crime.

Man I hate phones!

Ohhh I can't tell you how badly that makes me want to ring you up.

Well, I'm flattered SteveDallas.

Oh, you meant Shawnee, didn't you?

We had a tag sale awhile back and the inch was pooping in teh dnstrs WC. He pulled aside the curtain and began a conversation with some woman about something or other, he's chatting up a storm through the screen and she's chatting back, he invites her over for dinner, and they are chatting some more and I know what is going on because I know what room he is in. She says to him, innocently, "what are you doing?" "I'm pooping."
"O." she tries to play it cool and nonchalant, "well, I'll let you finish."

L'dMAO.

But that's not irritating me.

I find it pretty disturbing as well. In my old office building there was another financial services company. They're one of the big ones and honestly their new guys are just tools. It was common for them to sit in the stalls doing their business and talking to clients at the same time. WTF? I would just repeatedly flush the toilets and sing.

I always chat on my phone whilst peeing.

Otherwise its just a big waste of time.

Poison ivy on my arm. It's more than mildly irritating me actually, but this thread was right up top...

I had placed an order from Lenovo for several computers.

Today two of the computers arrived.

Via truck freight.

Strapped to a pallet.

that's good, right?

Ugh, that doesn't sound too good.

It just means I have the pallet sitting around my office till I can convince somebody to come take it away and dispose of it. It's also annoying in that the regular UPS, Fedex, DHL, etc. drivers know where to go and what to do. When the freight trucks come they end up grabbing the first person they see and say "where should I leave these boxes?" It's sub-optimal.

HM has come in for a chat.
Every time he asks for a chat he wants to tell me off about something.

This time it is about "the state of the house".
Why does this bother me?
Because when neither of us were working I kept the place as clean as I could be bothered to and he did nothing.
Let's face it he didn't fix the toilet for three months.

Then for the six weeks that I was working and he wasn't, he did nothing.
I did less, but between us we kept it tidy, although not spotless.

When he started work, he started having a huge clean on his midday day off. About a month ago. In that time I have had my own two blitzes.

So in fact, it's not like he has had to clean up after me for a long weary time.
But he came in to say he needed me to help out a bit.
Do more you mean, I said.
He gave a long suffering sigh and shook his head.
I didn't push it - but it pisses me off that he thinks I do nothing, have been doing nothing, that the way the place looks is all down to him etc etc.

The bathroom hasn't been cleaned since I last cleaned it.
And the time before that. And the time before that.
All he has done is the kitchen floor twic (the first times since I've moved in here) and the living room/ hall/ stairs. That I admit he is far better at than me. It's physical work and I hate it.

He obviously thinks he creates magical rubbish too.
He leaves it on the counter tops, it makes it's own way to the bin!

OMG
I've just realised what this is about.
He came home from work at 19.30 and the dishwasher was full of clean dishes and the recycling bin was full.
That's what the bloody crash, bang, wallop was all about, him stropping out about lazy lazy me sitting in my room on my laptop.

TRUTH. I hadn't been near the dishwasher.
I ate late at work today. And when he mentioned it ("Even if you just empty the dishwasher") I didn't click. I just responded about the other night when he was slamming around the kitchen and I wondered why - I guessed he was annoyed at having to empty the dishwasher. What a little hypocrite! I used to empty it every time! Now that I rarely eat here I have no reason to look in it. Therefore I don't know when his dishes are clean.

And the bloody bin!
Yes, I know it was full. Why? Because I had to gather up 4 or 5 items from the counter top to throw away. His.
No, I didn't empty it. Why? Because it used to be left far fuller than that! I didn't even think about it. If have done it next time.

This bugs me. The things that are being left are being left because I'm no longer using the kitchen effectively. But instead of realising the little things I used to do for him he just thinks I'm a lazy slacker who is ignoring what needs to be done.

Oh and that's another thing.
He said, "I can't live with it like this, I need things a lot cleaner."
WTF?!
This place is the cleanest it has ever been since I moved in.
So what was he doing for the last 11 months?
Walking round with blinkers on?
I assumed he wasn't bothered unless the house actually got dirty, so I suited myself and did more than him.
Now it's supposed to be spotless and I'm supposed to know that and it's not fair that the whole burden is on him.

Anyway.
All that rant was to get my anger out.
I'm glad we're going to have a cleaner house.
I'd like a more formal approach to the cleaning.
I'm going to make Saturdays my cleaning day again and I'll be grateful because maybe he won't mess it all up again within 2 hours of me doing it.

But I'm still annoyed at his fucking spin doctoring.