That's a given. That, and regular showers, and no spitting on the sidewalk, and the ability to form complete sentences, and no leftover hair 'tail' from the 80s/90s, and and and... :D

I know. Now we're getting 'picky' and we'll NEVER find a man!!!!

sigh.



;)

I've SEEN what there is to 'settle' for. I even tried that.

:shudders:

Know wha'i'm'sayin'?

How many?

Teeth is plural, so at least 2.

Bugs Bunny would qualify. He has two teef, a real tail, he gets a paycheck, I've seen him in the shower, and I've only seen him spit into spittoons. If we made him smell like chocolate, he'd be golden!

We're going to live together as three old crones, don't worry.
With cats.

I started to make a joke about hiring workmen and slipping something into their tea. Then I realised how appalling it would sound if it was a man suggesting he drugged a woman to have sex.
So I deleted it.

I'm already creepy, obviously.

We don't need to drug men to have sex. Snapping our fingers to call them to our attention should do it. It's a pavlovian reaction.

"Sit. Stay. Fuck."

Voila!

Sit - check
Fuck - check
Stay - Hold on there, let's see how the fuckin goes.

The Soft Heat Warming Mattress Pad. It's been great!

Dual controls, automatic shut-off after 10 hours, 11 heat settings, micro-fine wires, and low voltage.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...5L._AA300_.jpg

Attachment 37687

I hope to never be that cold.

I have been that cold and will not use an electric blanket or underpad. I do not trust such things.

so... not a waterbed fan then, hm?

You have a honkin electric heater directly underneath a thousand pounds of water in a box. you're protected by a couple millimeters of vinyl.

Sleep well!

A friend of mine had a waterbed. Extremely comfortable until you tried to get out of it. But no, I didn't like the heater idea in that, either. Never slept in the thing.

Oh, dear.

I am almost ashamed to be posting this. Does it make it okay that the place I saw it on TV wasn't a commercial?

But ...

Lightweight, durable, stores easily, and I really, really works. Learning curve is less than one shirt. Really. And it does exactly what it's supposed to. Quickly, neatly. And the results really do take up less physical space because it is more efficient than doing it by hand.

But what is it?