Aww crap. Bad luck Moar :(

Fuck cancer. Friends of mine lose their loved ones to it too often. That is all.

fuck cancer

cancer...fuck it.

stupid fucky fucking cancer.

A good friend lost his mother yesterday to cancer. 61 years old. Way too young to go and needlessly suffered for too long. The toll on the family was and still is a terrible burden. I am so sorry for their loss.

oh and FUCK CANCER!

And the bad news just keeps on coming. My uncle Frank - my mother's brother passed away on Wednesday.

Wow – I haven’t been here in a while. So this sucks monkey balls, the company I’ve been with for 20yrs is closing. We’re a union mechanical contractor and most of our work was government funded contracts. Unfortunately, here in the south the govt. hasn’t had a lot of work going on this past year, well not what we do. Plus, it’s been an uphill battle for the past couple of years, because of a few bad decisions. Anyway, I’m talking with a welding inspection contractor who needs someone to work in their office and we’ve done work with them before so they know me and know the work I’ve done here. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make a smooth switch.

Man, Pete. :( It sucks to have so many terrible things pile up like that. I'm wishing you strength.

Compared to other people's sorrows, this is a whine.
I'm posting it to get it off my chest, and in the hope of some wise words.

Mum has a group of friends that meet up every month or so. Nothing official - some are still in the Police and therefore the meetings have to fit in with their shifts. But when they can, they host meals for eachother.

Mum decided it was her turn, despite misgivings - she is ashmaed of this house and what she has compared to people in a similar income bracket. I don't know if I hear this more because I live with her, or whether she just feels it more as she gets older and more bitter.

Anyway.

After various conversations about what other people have done and what Mum herself likes, we settled on a tapas evening. Yes - we. I was going to be involved up to the minute the guests arrived. I was completely happy with this - they are a group of friends of about five years standing, I had no intention of muscling in!

I had a couple of dishes already sorted - patatas bravas, meatballs, anchovies, dipping sauce and bread, rice, Spanish omelette. I talked Mum out of making a chicken casserole as a dish, because it doesn't work in a tapas menu, but agreed chicken wings would be appropriate. Once numbers were confirmed I was potentially going to look up a white fish recipe (something Mum loves when we eat tapas in a restaurant) and/ or a sardine dish.

I'd even been online looking at Spanish tablecloths - second hand eBay of course! - and various things to theme the evening without going overboard. I was even going to dye some eggs (I'm doing some for Easter, so they're on my mind) and use them as mini containers for egg-salad topped with roe.

So today I asked Mum if we were going to Thame (a local town) on Tuesday. It's their market day, but we were going to check out the up-market delis and supermarket. It was cancelled before I went away because Grandad was ill.

"I'm not doing that" said Mum. What? Now going to Thame? "I'm just doing fajitas"

And that was that.
I'm hurt, offended and disappointed.
When was she going to tell me? Did she not realise I was looking forward to this as a mother & daughter thing and would be taking on 90% of the work? And if she's just going for an easy option (which someone has already done anyway) why doesn't she just order in Chinese?

When I am less upset I will say - please do tapas. I will take on all of it, just give me a budget. I will really enjoy it - I so much miss being able to cater and theme.
I doubt it will come to anything - when Mum closes a door she double locks it, bolts it and checks the windows too.

I am trying not to sulk. The childish part of me thinks, "Sod you, not only will I not help with your fajitas, I'll not help with any dinner you make in the near future - I will cook and wash up after myself and you'll regret cutting me out of your planning in future. I will make you suffer for hurting me."

I know that is wrong and stupid.
I am fighting that reaction.
Help me put this in perspective.

Not sure I can help SG. Does your Mum know how much she's hurt you? Did she think she was saving you some bother? Did she simply not realise how much you were looking forward to doing it? Is she afraid she'll appear to her friends to be over-compensating for the house with a fancy spread?
Perhaps you can go for a brisk walk on your own-io to calm down, and then try what you've said - offer to do to all within her budget?
Hugs, dearie!

Pull back, SG. Sounds like you took the reins from you Mum and she thought twice about it and wanted them back. For perspective, detach from what you need/want from this.

from Amazon? oh, Jinx, why didn't you ask me? nose bones are evil, anyway, and what is the material?

Ask you what? No they aren't. Gold.