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-   -   Can we start over... again? (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=4383)

april 11-18-2003 02:33 PM

Thanks Dave. Hes an ass.

perth 11-18-2003 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dave
In other words, if you don't have something nice to say, maybe you shouldn't say anything at all.
I think a better rephrasing might have been:

"If you don't have something nice to say, say something nasty to Dave."

Edit: now that I think about it, that might make a good Cellar tagline

Beestie 11-18-2003 02:36 PM

Its statutory rape - consent is irrelevant.

But he's making good and being daddy so maybe that's not important right now.

What's important, imho, is the child and having a healthy household which is better if daddy isn't incarcerated.

WHatever happened, it sounds to me like things are on a good track.

Keep up the healthy attitue April - that'll get you very far in this world.

Undertoad 11-18-2003 02:38 PM

If you are legit,

Sometimes you think you're a "bad person" because you've done something bad or stupid. But that's not true; everybody makes mistakes.

If you look back and think about things, and realize what was a bad idea and what a good idea, then you improve as a person. Then you have an advantage over people who never made any mistakes, like FNF.

Beestie 11-18-2003 02:45 PM

Quote:

Then you have an advantage over people who never made any mistakes, like FNF.
Quote:

...I flew of the left side of my bike, landed on my side and tumbled. (No before anyone asks, I was wearing NO saftey equipment... I've fallen off my bike countless times...
:p

dave 11-18-2003 02:48 PM

I don't think she's said that it was the same guy at 12 that is the dad.

April, is the same guy the dad?

Try not to look at him as an ass. It doesn't really help. It's not a positive feeling. He has a different opinion, and he's not being particularly helpful or productive. That's okay - people will do that. It's just maybe not exactly what the conversation needs right now. You've said that you regret it and you know it was wrong; that's all you really need to say. If you can recognize your mistakes, then you have an advantage over the people that can't (which is most, believe it or not).

FileNotFound 11-18-2003 02:51 PM

dave, your advice is appreciated and ignored.

What is April asking here for? Friends? Well I'm sorry dave, I won't be her friend because she's not my kind of person.

Compassion? Not out of me. Why should I feel sorry for someone else's fuckups? Thats what they are. Everything that happened to her has been her decision or a result of her accepting her position.

Advice? On what? Stay in school, use a god damn condom, next time and every damn time(I'll appreciate it).

I mean come on. Yeah I knew a girl who got raped also, guess what she did that same day? She went to the station to report it and draft a scetch of the sob while it was fresh in her mind and get a DNA sample and got a pregnancy check several days after. Emberassing? No dobut. Responsible thing to do? Yes.

Come on dave, what has this poor april suffered that she deserves my respect and support? Her own stupidity and irresponsibility?

Dagney 11-18-2003 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by april
Well I figure if I didn't stop it its not rape. But whatever.
No, there's no 'whatever' about it.

I didn't stop it when it happened to me, because I _COULD_ not stop it.

I definitely didn't want it.

Even if you didn't stop it, or want to stop it, or did whatever you felt necessary to seduce him into taking him to bed with you, he was of the age of majority, you were of the age of minority, which by definition of the law of most states, was rape.

Look at it this way - your 12 year old daughter is lured into bed by a 19 year old looking for a quick roll in the hay with no commitments.

Would YOU be upset?

Or perhaps I shouldn't ask that question, I think I already know the answer.

FileNotFound 11-18-2003 02:55 PM

Beestie,

I'd think the fact that I pointed it out shows that I know it to be a 'mistake'. More of a risk. I have the saftey equipment, I wear it when I'm seriously mountain biking in places where there are lots of trees and jagged rocks and steep hills. I do not wear it when I'm going to the park with my friends for a relaxing ride...

I did point this out in the thread. But thats for misquoting me. Jerk.

dave 11-18-2003 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FileNotFound
dave, your advice is appreciated and ignored.

What is April asking here for? Friends? Well I'm sorry dave, I won't be her friend because she's not my kind of person.

Compassion? Not out of me. Why should I feel sorry for someone else's fuckups? Thats what they are. Everything that happened to her has been her decision or a result of her accepting her position.

Advice? On what? Stay in school, use a god damn condom, next time and every damn time(I'll appreciate it).

I mean come on. Yeah I knew a girl who got raped also, guess what she did that same day? She went to the station to report it and draft a scetch of the sob while it was fresh in her mind and get a DNA sample and got a pregnancy check several days after. Emberassing? No dobut. Responsible thing to do? Yes.

Come on dave, what has this poor april suffered that she deserves my respect and support? Her own stupidity and irresponsibility?
Apparently you had trouble reading my post. I didn't ask you to care; I asked you to shut the fuck up.

I hope this clarifies any misunderstandings.

dave 11-18-2003 02:59 PM

Dagney -

Different people deal with sexual assault in different ways. Who are you to judge?

She'll deal with it how she'll deal with it. Whatever works best for her.

Beestie 11-18-2003 03:01 PM

Originally posted by fileNotFound
Quote:

I did point this out in the thread. But thats for misquoting me. Jerk.
C'mon - I was just ribbing you! :)

FileNotFound 11-18-2003 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dave
Dagney -

Different people deal with sexual assault in different ways. Who are you to judge?

She'll deal with it how she'll deal with it. Whatever works best for her.

Ignoring it isn't "dealing" with it. It's "ignoring it".

FileNotFound 11-18-2003 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Beestie
Originally posted by fileNotFound


C'mon - I was just ribbing you! :)


Sigh..sorry. I'm in a pissy mood this week...it's been a bit of a mess.

Dagney 11-18-2003 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dave
Dagney -

Different people deal with sexual assault in different ways. Who are you to judge?

She'll deal with it how she'll deal with it. Whatever works best for her.

Understood and I agree with you completely. However, shrugging things off with a 'whatever' - especially in relation to this particular topic is somewhat of a hot button to me.

I dealt with it the way I had to, and part of that is to try and educate people on what it really is.

No means no - no matter who says it.


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