Nah...working Saturdays is overrated.

*goes to grab his bottle of Penn Dutch Egg Nog*

i'm the most honest person in the dealership.

i'm the last one they see and routinely burst bubbles that the salesmen have created......

the finance department is the "brakes" of a dealership.

" I know they quoted you 5.9%, but you do not qualify for that rate, sir. The best we can do for you on this car is 8.9%, please sign here"

what fun.

if not for jinx, i'd be living in my own filth, i'm sure.....

have to give her credit for the beautiful house, and the kids' good looks, too.

i'm just a good earner.

Isn't it awful that he even tries that shit at home? Morally repugnant I say....

Awww hell, didn't intend to hijack this thread, so:

1) Shania
2) Halle Berry (only if she'd agree to do my wife too ;-)
3) Nikki Cox
4) Any ice skater
5) The everyone love raymond chick...or the home improvement wife, or both.

even tanya harding?


and i'm sorry, but i wouldn't F mrs tool time with sycamore's tiny little d**k

yo u know you love it. so you have to wear hip waders once in a while, it's the thought that counts. honey, YOU ...ARE....my shining star........blah blah blah bla-blah....

Sure Tanya, that's what the old milwaukee's for, and the paper bag it comes in.

And I was just jerking your chain earlier....You're an exceptionaly (sp? damn beer!) honest looking gentleman. I'd finance with you any day.

And you would know about my dick how?

You know who I completely forgot about?

--Mariah Carey: I've been in love with her since I was 14
--Leah Remini: Something about her...meeeow!

Mariah....eewwww, skanky skank.

Leah, ya, there is something about her....would have to have a mute button tho.

Scene: A camping trip with my Explorer post back in 1990. One of the leaders from another post apparently has the hots for our Advisor.

Advisor: I might fuck her if she had a bag over her head.

A member of our post: Paper or plastic?

(EDIT: Remembered it incorrectly...might still have it wrong...I'm paraphrasing here. It's been 14 years...but the "paper or plastic" comment was a running joke in the post for quite some time.)

I think that's just an act. She's like the girl in high school who was always trying to show off her cleavage, but hadn't made it past first base.

Mariah is so beautiful...except for her talking voice. Gyah!

A three bagger?

One for you, one for her, and one for anyone that has to watch it?

Mariah is not that beautiful, cmon man, take away the great rack and whaddiyoogot??

A nice face and a nice body...whoo baby!

BRUCE TOLD ME