I was wondering if I should post that link here ... nice one, Ocean!

"You may say, 'How can anybody who's got it all be so stupid as to want to end it all?' That's the point, there is no 'why?' That's not the right question. There is no reason. If there was reason for it, you could reason someone out of it."
Stephen Fry

http://www.independent.ie/world-news...-29323739.html

I really must go and listen to the podcast interview where he talked about it. Brave thing to do, be so open about mental health issues when he's in the public eye.

When he talked before about his breakdown and earlier brushes with suicidal behaviour, he was talking at almost a decade's distance and at the other side of a diagnosis and professional help. But this attempt was only last year. It underlines the ongoing, lifelong dangers of depressive illness.

I don't know why the thought of killing myself comes into my head so much. I have a lot of good things in my life. I think I'm sick somehow. I don't like the thoughts. It's kind of like having a bruise which is very sore but you rub it and it hurts and feels good at the same time. It's kind of fucked up. I really don't like it. I have hesitated posting this. I have a lot of shame about it. I haven't told anyone about it. I don't know what I want. I must want to live since I am still here.

But I don't like the thoughts. They are a distraction. They are like surprise wave of nausea. It's horrible and unpleasant. You can't anticipate it or prevent it and the unpleasantness, it stays with you.

Suicidal thoughts are nothing to be ashamed of. You're not the first to feel this way despite "good things in your life".
Have you got as far as thinking of how to kill yourself, anon? Can you try to make sure that easy methods are not at your disposal so that you don't act on impulse? Are you diagnosed with depression, are you on meds which need adjusting? Can you call the Samaritans when you're feeling suicidal?
Help is out there. Please access it.



sent by thought transference

Nurturing suicidal thoughts used to be my way of having an out. Now I see them as an internal alarm that I'm doing something wrong that I need to change. I also used to think that my ultimate escape plan would be to max out all my credit cards and move to some exotic island...work as a waitress or whatever. I know the plan has loads of problems, but it was a cool safety valve for me for a while. (this was when I was poor..lol)

depressionforums.org

A good place to talk about things and a good place for resources. Stay with us. You matter.

I used to think there was absolutely no reason for suicide, but after hearing how my 90 year old aunt suffers every day from cancer, I've changed my thinking. Every time I call her, she mentions how she wishes the good lord would take her home. She refuses to end her own life because she believes her soul will be damned to Hell, and I respect her beliefs, which is why I haven't mentioned anything to her about committing suicide, even tho I know it will end her constant pain.

Thats bothers me the most. I don't understand that God.

If the religion does a good enough job convincing you of how great heaven is, they need a reason just as good to not go there immediately.

Very wise.


Sent by thought transference

I'm not entirely sure this belongs here, but, here it is:


Dying Woman Throws A Party For 30 Guests And Kills Herself At The End

She committed suicide after her shindig. So, yes, it belongs here. Anon's original post doesn't specify that it must be a Dweller's suicidal situation.

I was away on vacation when this was posted and totally missed it.

I think it's normal to think about unpleasant stuff. Maybe not specifically suicide, but just unpleasant things in general. I'll sometimes imagine my loved ones having horrific accidents that kill them and take them from me. I actually visualize the accidents happening. I hate those thoughts and try to shake them out of my head when they pop in there. It's not something I desire at all, but they will just randomly pop in there, uninvited.

It seems like your thoughts are similar. Are you just imagining a scenario in which you kill yourself, or are you weighing it as an option? I wouldn't be too concerned about the former, but the latter is something that you should face and possibly bring up with people who can help you. The fact that you hate the thoughts sounds like it's just one of those unwelcome things that pops into your head, and isn't something you are actually considering.

Thank you...... I have that link on a thread on another site I am on about this topic......