LabRat: Yes, "old fashioned" sex can cause a release very similar to subspace for a lot of people. But there are those of us who remain very much inside our own bodies during "regular" sex, and the only way to transcend that is through "alternative" sex or play. I very much enjoy regular, vanilla sex... as I've pointed out before, that's the only kind I'm getting right now and I'm content with that. I don't feel the need to be topped right now; don't feel the need for the release that s/m play and subspace give me. -shrugs- Everyone is different; everyone achieves their release different ways.

Edit: If this sounds a bit defensive, I apologize; I've been taking a lot of guff outside the Cellar recently for my lifestyle choices, and I'm getting a little tense about the need to constantly correct misconceptions or defend myself when people attack just because they don't agree with what I do. Y'all are different; you give a shit. It's the ones who call me slut and worse for living the way I do only because they don't agree with me that I'm fed up with.

Thankfully, I can (and have) reached that state through common sex, and you have found a way that works for you, through an alternative style. Win Win. I'll just be sure to stay out of your corner in the orgy thread. ;)

I get it now I think: I've heard this before: the sub is actually in control. This gives you a measure of control while being out of control.

What I still don't get is why it has to be SO utterly thoroughly dangerous and not just getting tied up and flogged.

-laughs- Fair enough, as long as you promise to come help me out in the food fight thread! I'm out of syrup!

My two cents is that if you don't want people to comment on how you have sex and what you like and dont like maybe you shouldnt post about it.

It has nothing to do with my posting here, Big Red. Like I said, the majority of the people posting here post because they care. It's more the people I come into contact with on a daily basis out in town or such.

Undertoad, it doesn't HAVE to be anything. I can reach subspace perfectly fine just by being tied up and flogged. However, part of the D/s lifestyle is about pushing boundaries. So yes, if a Dom/me or a sub wishes to push boundaries in a certain direction, things can get edgy (pun not intended). And when it comes down to it, knife play is one of the milder sides of dangerous when it comes to s/m play. Consider, if you will, breath control, fireplay, gunplay, extreme bondage, watersports, etc., all of which are hard restrictions for me, things I will never do.

that kind of thing doesn't turn you on then? you don't maybe get a little turned on when someone calls you a slut? just a little?

Trea, thanks again for responding with complete candour.
I just feel I need to ask... You had a Dom who was cutting you a decade ago in New York? I thought you were in your early twenties? My bad if you're not, but that seems really early to start experimenting - are you sure it didn't influence later decisions?

And no, I do not belive for one minute that you "deserved" an abusive partner. Consensual S&M and abuse are completely separate - consensual S&M would never satisfy an abuser or rapist and non-consensual abuse or rape would never be accepted by someone simply into D&S play. I'm just asking if you experienced this lifestyle before your sexual preferences were fully realised.

The only one legally responsible for sure, but to suggest women are never responsible for their own safety is way off.

Lumberjim: Not in that context, no. Play is completely separate.

SundaeGirl: "NEARLY" a decade, dear. I'm 25... I was 17 or 18 when I met that Sir. Yes, it was a bit early to start experimenting, but that's how I discovered what I did like... and it's taken that long for me to finally act on it and seek out what I liked, rather than being ashamed of it and hiding it.

Jinx: You hit the nail on the head. WE as women are responsible for our safety. RAPISTS are responsible for the rape.

Again, I thank ALL of you for your concern and input. This is definitely a more lively discussion than I had imagined it would be! :)

What she said.
I admire you Treas for a) taking up my suggestion and b) replying to everyone's comments in the spirit in which they're made.

-blushes- Thank you, Limey... I figured you had a good suggestion so I ran with it. And I know how everyone on here is... I know who the troublemakers are (Lumberjim, I'm looking at YOU... sometimes), and I know who really cares. That makes it much easier to take comments in the right way and not be hurt or offended. And really, like I told SundaeGirl, this thread and the comments thereon has really made me sit back and think about why I enjoy this and why I've chosen this path... never a bad thing! I mean, I knew I enjoyed it, but the WHY til now has really been a nebulous thing, hard to verbalize. Not so much anymore! :D So I think I owe you a beer for the suggestion, Limey. Let me know when you're in the area!

Yeah yeah yeah, but where the hell are the pictures? :D

-grins- I have SAFE for work pics uploaded on my computer... but no NSFW. Sorry, xoB. Unless you wanna come take 'em yourself? lol

I'm into the newest fetish. No sex at all with anyone in any way. I'm digging it. :) It's awesome. Anyone have advice on how not to do it, even with one's self?

It's awesome.