Mind the gap!!

http://static.flickr.com/20/71630428_639de020d8_o.jpg http://www.popartuk.com/g/l/lgpp30385.jpg

Inflate your tires.

Put the cheese away when you're done eating it, drunkie.

File your taxes.

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

Shel Silverstein

If you hang your keys on a hook by the door, you'll never have to frantically search your house for them.

Save trees; go to www.catalogchoice.org and sign up to be removed from unwanted catalogs.

Help protect your identity (and save trees); go to https://www.optoutprescreen.com/?rf=t and opt out of pre-approved credit card offers.

Thank you, Jill. I enjoyed that.

Stand clear of the doors, please.
Stand clear of the closing doors.

cellar PUBIC reminder: please shave

Or insure your goods and chattels with an insurer from Delaware ...

Do not operate heavy machinery while on medication.

The Cellar has been accident-free for 37 days.

Don't lose your mind while running through the mind fields.

Are you talking physical accidents? Or somebody getting drunk & making posts they shouldn't have accidents?

Caution high winds may exist.

Warning: This site may harm your your computer.
<click here to skip ad>

Do Not Occupy This Dumpster

Remove Windscreen Cover Before Driving.

If this phone fails to work, Call (800) 888-8990 between 8 AM - 4:30 PM PST

Never iron clothes while they are being worn

on fireplace log:
Caution --Risk of Fire.

on pepper spray:
May Cause Eye Irritation

package of fishing hooks: harmful if swallowed

on bag of peanuts:
Warning --Contains Nuts

American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Open packet, eat nuts."

Remove Packaging Before Eating.

Do Not Eat Toner.

This product contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E and K have been added.

printed _on product seal of some vitamins i got _just _this _morning:
Do Not Use if Seal is Broken or Missing.

On Nytol Nighttime Sleep-Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

on hair dryer:
Do not use in shower. Do Not Use While Sleeping or Unconscious.

Remove used tampon before inserting a new one.

Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally.

Always wear eye protection.

Switch should be in On position before operating.

Do Not Place Hands Inside While Blades Are In Motion.

For best results, remove cap.

This Product Can Will Only Protect The Part Of The Body It's Covering.

May be hot after heating.

If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.

__________________
Please exercise caution --costume mask and chest plate are not protective; cape does not enable wearer to fly.

bwahahahaha.

Some of the instruction warning labels of products is hilarious. but you know, we don't really have natural selection anymore, so companies have to protect themselves from being sued by MORONS. :D

I love the NPR game show "Wait, wait, don't tell me." From there I glean important information like the fact that Olestra is making a comeback -- as an industrial additive for paints and lubricants.