I see an equally large difficulty with his playing field being full of people who have learned, directly or indirectly, to avoid those who are looking for someone who will *make me happy*. Knowledgeable people seek someone who has found other ways to be happy, not just comfortable, with whom a relationship would enhance their mutual happiness rather than someone who needs a partner to be happy. The latter situation yields lower stability as even life's routine separations, physical and emotional, can cause such a relationship to spiral downward when one person takes the basic happiness of the other with them.

To peak other's interest, mr.moons can take stock of what's already making him happy and, starting with the most common, pursue those in social settings even if he has to redirect himself from solitary pursuits (e.g. collectors can join clubs). The more often he can present himself as an intrinsically happy person who's available; but, not needy (let alone desperate), the better his chances of making a healthy long term connection.

It might also help Mr.Moon if he remain engaged in any conversations he started ... jus' sayin' ....

Maybe he was just trying to drum up some business; but, didn't get any takers:

I'm just a gigolo and everywhere I go
People know the part, I'm playin'
Paid for every dance, sellin' each romance
Ooh, what they're sayin'

I've been following what all of you have been saying, but I haven't really read anything that I've felt the need to reply to until now.

Does it sound to you guys like I'm looking for someone to make me happy? Perhaps I am. I am a relatively happy person, but I feel like I would be more happy if I had a partner in crime. I don't think people are supposed to be alone.

Of all the subjects covered by the Cellar's various forums and of all the sub-topics covered by threads within each forum, you started out here not by posting a reply to anyone else's interests; but, by starting a thread about you feeling alone. If that doesn't say "needy" it's because it SCREAMS "needy" ... actions speak louder than words ... first impressions and all that. Yes, you present as looking for someone to make you happy and being unable to maintain that threshold on your own. With an entrance like that, I hope you didn't come here looking for potential IRL companionship. Coming for advice is good.

Thank you for your reply, mr.moons. I think there's a lot of good advice and suggestions here. I hope they help you.

I must second limey's remarks mr.moons. Unless you've been lurking for years, you've no idea how rich and pure the vein of sincere wisdom you've tapped into with this thread. Very smart, very compassionate, very articulate people have offered their insight here. And so have I. You mightn't have thought any reply was needed, but I do hope you find success and happiness. The words here are good guides for that quest.

I appreciate the honesty.
I did come here looking for advice, not a partner, so no worries (I hope).
So let's assume I am as needy as I appear. Does that mean I'm unfit to have a girlfriend and I shouldn't try to get one until I somehow figure out how to be un-needy?
I apologize if that sounds bitter, I guess I am a bit bitter about things, but I do wanna figure all this out.

It is hard to give broad advice, so let's follow Clobfobble's lead. Answer the following questions and hopefully it help with better advice:

1) Do you see yourself as a confident? If in certain areas and not others, specify. Quickly, how do you think others would describe you.

2) Quickly describe your life. What do you do for a job, what do you do in your free time?

3) What are your ambitions? What are you doing to improve yourself?

3) What would you like to do (in terms of hobbies, self-improvement, ambitions, etc)? Why are you not doing this?

4) How often do you meet women? In what setting? Do you feel like you connect with them, if not, why? What do you do to meet women?

5) Describe the the relationships of the people around you. Are they married, in serious relationships, single?

6) You answered this but do you consider yourself happy? Do you think a relationship will make you happy?

7) Why should a woman want to date you?

"Unfit" is an interesting word choice. Would you say that you feel you deserve a girlfriend? Because that in itself is a backwards and self-defeating way of thinking about other people. It verges close on the idea that an individual woman, or women in general, owe you something.

Is there a particular woman in your life whom you are interested in? Because if the answer is that you would be interested in pretty much anyone, then you're not going to be offering much in return to a hypothetical girlfriend--the vibe you'll be giving off (and women are very good at picking up on this kind of attitude) is that she is not special, that you will only see her as "my girlfriend" and not "Susan" or whoever. It doesn't even matter if you would lavish her with gifts and attention in her role as your girlfriend, if you would do it for anyone then she'll know she's got no real connection from you.

[thread-drift]Monster, that is a great song[/thread-drift]

Sorry I've not been replying. I have some stuff going on and most of my spare thinking time is being spent on that.

Posting on the Cellar is better than thinking!

It's like thinking one-hundred-fold.