Fortunately, my family moved from near Default out here to Grandview many years ago. That's why Syc and I are such pals...

:D

So, you weren't trying to start an argument, so you thought you'd create a thread to not have an argument on?

Oh, and wouldn't THIS topic have been best suited for the think hole since it's mainly about you?

I think you're a little mixed up. Have you been eating your vegetables?

Lady Sidhe, i'm guessing you wish you hadn't, in a fit of pique, started this thread but you did and, in all fairness, got your just desserts.
Now moving from my soap box to the pressure cooker atmosphere of a warship on deployment ( * oh no he's on about warships again* ), the very things that caused interpersonal tension later became the fond memories we laughed about over a cold beer. Naturally this is an accelerated process in such close confines whereas in the real world you simply walk away from those who shit you.
On a ship i'm trapped physically but here i'm also trapped cos I like coming here. It's streets ahead of most other rooms i've seen.
I intend to hang around so eventually i'll ruffle someone's feathers ( I recall calling Wolf a man shortly after joining ) or they'll ruffle mine. It's inevitable.
The point i'm trying laboriously to make is BIG DEAL. Everybody concerned will get over it unless I a/ ceaselessy bitch about it or b/make it personal.
Don't sweat it.

There is nothing here that cannot be solved by a good get naked party.

Maybe ( or aprilfly ) Lady Sidhe and Wolf are the same person suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder !!!!! Judith Martin

amen to that.

I am over it :) . She's on my ignore list. And I do appreciate your not jumping down my back over it.

I have learned an unspoken rule from this thread, though: you're not allowed any oopses if you're new, because you're automatically seen as being whiny and melodramatic. I'll definitely change my attitude. Not everyone's been that way to me, for which I thank them, but many have acted as if I'm trying to make trouble, which I'm not. It seems that "I apoligize" doesn't mean much when people are determined to see you the way they want to see you.

Shit happens. Like you said, I'm not sweating it. I'll just go on doing what I always do, and that's try to be as pleasant to others as they are to me.

Sidhe

6

Fore!

This is why I voted in favor of giving you your own forum.

[By the way, the chances that your occupation has anything to do with wolf's apparent dislike of you are minimal.]

Minimal to the point of approaching zero.

If people really work at it you might also end up on her ignore list ...

Apparently there's another unspoken rule, which dictates that the "regulars" may never be at all critical of new members who are unfamiliar with how the community works, because new people tend to be delicate, and are easily emotionally bruised. Well, we've just been stomping around on those eggshells like a bunch of bone-eating ogres, haven't we? So sorry.

The Ignore List is such a blessing for people intolerant of the opinions of others... it lets one filter out any views not in line with one's own. The sticking-fingers-in-the-ears-and-going-LA-LA-LA-LA defense makes debate so much more warm and unabrasive... like a good, satisfying bowel movement.

^^^ well said.

I used to feel the same way Sidhe does about online posting. It's a great thing when everyone almost agrees about something, and only the details need to be ironed out.

But when you get people that sit on opposite ends of the spectrum it's very easy to slip into an emotional shelter to protect the logical argument. It becomes easier to question character since both parties see their stance as so blindingly obvious there's no way to just "explain it to them".

And that's when the fur starts to fly.

But now I like confrontation. It's a great way to point out each and every tiny flaw in your argument/idea/post, and forces you to make concessions and alter your mode of speech in order to get your point across. So the theme remains the same... but your ability to express it improves.

But yeah, if things turn into on all-out personal attack time after time.... ignore is the answer! (Although I doubt wolf would resort to a baseless diatribe).

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Riddil.

No baseless diatribes here ... only based ones.

I don't usually need to go to diatribe level, anyway.

I had kind of held back on this, because I recently made some similar statements about negativity. I think the big difference was that I realized relatively quickly that i was being a sissy about it, and backed off. Sidhe, I've noticed, however is nearly unshakable from her position. claims to be open minded do not in itself make you open minded. I realized as i read th eabove posts that sidhe was the one that had the friend who's hubby was fooling around, and while she started the thread asking for advice, she basically just stuck to her initial opinion and argued with everyone who had a different perception of what she described.

so, considering what I've just said, I'd make a slight adjustment to your unspoken rule:

"you're not allowed to be whiny and melodramatic if you're new"


That's because no one knows you well enough to like you yet, and you will not often be given a pass by EVERYONE. if 5 or 6 people have given you some shit, i think it's safe to assume that twice or three times that number had similar thoughts but just didn;t say it out loud (kind of like cockroaches where every one you see represents 50 you don;t)