Actually I don't live in Dayton. I live in Springboro, a little bit south. Springboro is more like the nose of Ohio, because it's filled with snots.

Today's student error was a good one.

As a warm-up question, I asked them all what the strangest thing they had ever eaten was. Horse, snake, fried ants, semen ...

????

He meant cement. he really needs to work on his pronunciation. :lol:

http://cellar.org/2003/youatesand.jpg

You ate sand?

srsly, cement? What's the nutritional labeling on that?

Yes, after you entered all your info, you have to press 1 to continue... on to the real bank. :mg:

It's the same bank always the same menu.

To think about it hurts my head with ridiculousness because I really I don't know what the heck press #1 to continue is for except being redundant.

Or a security feature

or maybe it means if my finger is tired I can just hang up now?
* Long shrug*

edit [I just realized Bruce was making fun of me]

I should have to press a number to get into my checking account or some other menu option but it only requires another digit be pressed just for the heck of it. ah f.... it. I just thought it was funny.

I think he was implying that all the other stuff was scammers rather than mking fun....

That's what I thought at first then I thought well maybe yeah of course press the next button.I didn't know if I was being sensitive. Maybe I am so bored simply dialing the phone gives me amusement....and that's sad. :P

My friends are too busy to chat.

I am blah today bored beyond the norm so I got busy and vacuumed,dusted, washed a load of clothes, made some granola bars and all is well again.
I feel productive again. * big sigh of relief*

I just wordled the cellar index page and this was the result:

http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/1337630/Cellar

not a large cock in sight! I was mildy amused.

Guy I saw on the train this morning.

Polished black shoes, pressed black trousers, business shirt - no tie though - reading Atlas Shrugged; but still carrying his backpack from his student days with the Rage Against The Machine patch sewn on it. :lol:

I got sausages out to defrost for mini toad-in-the-hole today (sausages in batter pudding). There were only four in the freezer, and I put them in a bowl in the microwave (off) because it's a safe place at room temperature.

Dad moaned to Mum - he will never confront me directly - that we would only get one sausage each. Turns out when Mum makes toad-in-the-hole, she spoils Dad and gives him three sausages. Well tough. There were no more in there anyway, and we decided Dad could have two portions and we'd have one each, just heavy on the accompanying veg.

All a mild irritant, and very silly. If he just ate what he was given he'd feel full up anyway - this is cooked differently than the ones Mum does anyway. In his 70th year, he's pretty much stuck in his ways.

Anyway. Mum thought the sausies weren't defrosting quickly enough, so she took them out of the microwave and put them on top of the hob. Cooker wasn't on, just for some reason she thought there would be a temperature difference in the open air. Ridiculous, as when I checked them at 14.00 I deemed them defrosted, and anyway, any temperature difference would be negible, if it existed at all.

Cries and shouts from downstairs approx 5 minutes ago.
Diz got at the sausages.
He had one on the floor and had shredded it all over the kitchen.
Not only that, but Dad's first step into the porky madness saw him sliding on a piece and skidding across the floor in true slapstick banana skin stylee.

Dad not impressed. Mum and I both apologetic for our parts in the tragedy. The 'rents have had two scavenger cats (like Diz) so she should have known better. But he's my cat so I feel responsible.

Dad only gets one portion, and Mum and I still smirking now. The idea of Dad gliding over the kitchen floor on the extra sausage he was sulking about, like an older Tom Cruise in Risky Business is really quite amusing. If he'd slipped and hurt himself it wouldn't be funny. But he didn't, so we can smirk to our hearts' content.

Beautiful. :D

:headshake

I'm in the basement working at home today. Shila, our beagle, is on the floor above working on her morning nap. She's snoring like a diesel. It's loud even here in the basement.

Shopping in Sainsbury's with Ma today.

They were away for the weekend, and I'm always at risk of drinking then. I tamed the cravings this time by laying into the Ma's stash of Caffeine Free Diet Coke cans. About ten. Not great for the teeth, but I could sleep and didn't bump into anything.

So I promised to buy her replacements along with my usual fortnightly shop. She wanted to come into town without Dad anyway, to get his Christmas present.

We're at the checkout. Mum is putting light things in her bag and I am loading the bottles, cans etc into my shopping trolley.

All of a sudden, from the perspective of Mum & the cashier, something is squirting them. Their inital suspect is a little boy who has been running up and down making a ruckus. Nope. It was a six-pack of said Coke which had just been scanned and I was about to pack.

I knew where it was coming from - I was trying to contain it in a bag. Everyone else squirted was just in complete shock.

Now I hadn't touched it at that point. And the cashier certainly hadn't manhandled it. All I can assume is that one of the cans had been damaged earlier and it just took a while for the pressure in the can to erupt.

Now the six cans were bound together in a plastic sleeve. Which means the high pressure squirt action went in about three different directions. It hit Mum, the cashier, the cashier working back to back with her, the other people in the queue, people walking along and all the shopping on the belt.

The person most unscathed? Me. I was behind it to an extent, and was wrangling it into a bag to try to stop the arterial-style spurting.

Poor lady on checkout. EVERYTHING was coated in Coke. Her till, her hair, her uniform, the belt, the area for packing bags etc. It will dry sticky and I bet there'll be sticky parts becoming apparent for weeks to come.

We could go home and change. She had to sit there til the end of her shift! Good job it's December, so at least she doesn't have to worry about wasps.

Mum and I left the supermarket in a state of near shock. But we consoled ourselves in a local hostelry (actually this was always the plan - we called it our works' outing). The great thing was, no-one was really to blame. At least none of the protagonists. So our humour, when it came, was untainted by guilt or annoyance.

And every time we pictured the Coke going a gusher and drenching all those other people we did start giggling. We're simple people really.

Ahh, yes.

About 6 months ago, I was letting Minifob help me with the groceries. He tried to carry and subsequently dropped a twelve-pack of sodas. The thin cardboard paper wrapping tore open, and no fewer than four cans burst open and began spraying wildly as they rolled across the tile floor in opposite directions. Of course as they rolled they generated a sprinkler effect where the spray cycled up and around, and in the end I was cleaning soda off the hanging light fixture.

At the time I was not at all amused. :)

Instead she becomes a human Slurpee. (Do you guys have Slurpee?)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slurpee

It was 77 degrees here to today. Some storms, hard rain, then clear skys. It is 9 pm and 70 degrees. This is the stuff big storms are made of.

From the instructions on a recent prescription: "Unwrap and insert one suppository per rectum."

Fortunately, he doesn't have more than one. :rolleyes:

This story about bedbug bed-buggery at NewScientist.

The story is mildly amusing, but the comments discussion is gold! Be sure to read all comments.

WTF it was 81 today. Damm I think this global warming tin foil hat stuff may have merit. How was the weather in NY today. Oh I know cold as hell.

Expected to be 56 in the am.

Winter is upon us.

Student evaluation of teaching comments.

"An increasing is my think's logic."

I was not responsible for teaching them English.

For the past few days, my male cat Sterling has been trying to mate with my female cat Daisy. On the ironing board, in my office/sewing room.

Both are neutered, of course, and Sterling really hasn't any idea what to do after he sinks his teeth into her neck scruff, so he just kind of stands there over her looking confused - but determined to do *something* - until she gets fed up, turns around and whacks him.

She puts up with this because, otherwise, they are best buddies.

This is all the more amusing because it takes place on the ironing board, which is not particularly sturdy. I had to move the iron because they kept knocking it off.

Now that their nightly drama has been accomplished, they're engaged in mutual grooming of each other's heads, which is really cute. It's like Daisy is thinking, "I have no idea what you're trying to do, but I love you anyway."

Come to think of it, I've often thought the same thing. ;)

Our cattle dog keeps stealing Christmas ornaments from the tree and table tops. He is killing at least 2 or more a day. I am quitely amused. But I pretend to be angry for my wife's sake and to support her anger.

Juni, my lost cat Dylan grew up with the studs (at the breeder's house.)
Although he was neutered, he learned their behaviour.

Diz was always the dominant cat, the alpha if you like (although cats don't have a pack hierarchy in the same way dogs do) but he was brought up with the queens.

So the whole time I had them both, Dylan would occasionally mount Diz, biting his neck and making him submit.

And yet Diz got first dibs on food, first choice at sleeping place and could chase Dylan off my lap by jumping up and edging him off cuckoo style.

Animal pecking orders are more complicated than we think!

Just got a call from my wife. She was at the grocery store to pick up some mozzarella cheese and some cold cuts for the weekend. It's a work day, mid morning, and apparently the entire county is stocking up on groceries. We are supposed to get between 6 inches and a foot of snow tomorrow. I knew there would be a rush on the grocery stores before the storm, but I thought it wouldn't be until tonight. It's kind of quiet here at work. I think people are actually blowing off work this morning so they can hoard groceries.

She said that people are standing by the front door and following others with carts back to their cars so they can get their shopping carts after they unload their groceries.

She left in disgust. Maybe we won't be having homemade pizza tonight. I think I put this in the wrong thread. I started off mocking all the crazy people, but now I'm a little irritated when I think about no pizza tonight.

Ha ha Glatt! I hear you, that happens here too whenever we're supposed to get more than 3" or so.

I try to prep so that we don't even have to go to the store at all, as long as it'll be less than a week before the roads are cleared. I can bake bread, and the only things we really "need" are milk and fresh veggies, though those can be subbed with canned/dried/frozen.

And where I live, snow & ice storms usually put us out of business for oh, about a day at the most. Less if we have to be at work! It has to get pretty damn bad for mailmen to stay home. Only happened once in the last 10 years.

Well its amusing to me how people get like that glatt - does that count?



ETA - Oh shit - I just realized you are only a few hours ahead of me - weather-wise. Crapola! I'm no longer amused. I have to go hoard food now too. <sulks away in disgust>

It is pretty funny. And we contributed to it a little bit. My wife wasn't out there stocking up on TP like all the crazies, but she did add to the parking lot congestion before she threw in the towel and left. Fortunately, we have a crappy grocery store a block from our house, and even though it doesn't have the Polly-O cheese we like, my wife got some generic grocery store mozzarella and cold cuts, and it was much more civilized. I think people really were going grocery shopping in the morning and arriving at work late. I bet it will be insane this evening though.

yeh thanks - just when I'll be out there - :yelsick:

It's like hurricane season too, when people just suddenly seem to realize OMG, I live in an area that gets hurricanes! I mean, HELLO, it's December, have you never gotten a snowstorm before? Might you stop to think, perhaps in October sometime, that it might be wise to stock up some extra canned goods and TP, maybe some candles and batteries, just in case you might need them? Sheesh.

I always have to laugh at the TV news coverage from hardware stores as people stand in line for shovels and salt. I can understand running out of salt, but if you live in a place that gets snow sometimes, why wouldn't you already have a shovel?

Last year we had a wind storm from hurricane Ike pass through and it knocked out our power for 5 days. You couldn't find many stores open or gas stations because they didn't have power either, and OMG did people freak out. The only difficulty we had was procuring a few gallons of gas for our generator so we could have TV and fridge. We managed, but learned from it so that next time there's a threat, we'll fill the tanks and cans.

that's just what Atomic and Demeter are like

When I first moved down here after college, I didn't own a snow shovel. You are starting out in life, on your own, and there are just certain things you don't think you will need. We lived in an apartment building with on street parking. Why would you need a shovel?

Well, after the "storm of the century" dropped like 2 feet of snow, we realized that even if you live in an apartment, it's good to have a shovel so you can dig your car out. We spent like 2 hours with cookie sheets and a broiler pan trying to dig our car out. And then once we did, and drove off to run errands, we came back and somebody had parked in the parking space we dug out. We had to dig another one out just to park again.

It has been raining like hell for 2 days. Your snow is on the way.

I cannot handle all the morons on the road - I've decided that popcorn and whatever else I already have will have to suffice. I am home finally and just don't feel like going out. I know my temper and I don't want to snap a week before Christmas.

On a slightly related point, it always amuses me seeing people doing their Christmas food shopping at the supermarket. It's like they're still in the 70s or early 80s when all the shops would close across Christmas. It's left us with this tradition of stocking up on basics (half a dairy's worth of milk, an entire bakery of bread, 3000 toilet paper rolls and a plantation's worth of tobacco) despite the fact that, actually, most of the shops only close for one day, and even then there's 24 hour garage forecourt shops all over the bloody show selling all those basics as and when they're needed.

Buying in enough food to prepare a spread, sure I get that. Making sure the cupboards and fridge are full of lovely treats, yeah, ok. But the whole batten-down-the-hatches approach seems silly these days.

On line shopping rocks. That is all.

Since much of Britain, including my town is currently blanketed in white, here are some random musings on the subject of snow:

1. It's really, really pretty. But it stops looking inviting when it comes time to walk a 28kg dog who pulls like a an over-enthusiastic huskey in a sled race.

2. The level of panic and disruption that descends on Britain with each falling flake is hysterically funny to watch on tv: less funny when it comes time to try and get a bus home from Leeds.

3. When letting the dog out for the last time before locking up for the night, it's not a good idea to be too lazy to locate shoes and instead step out in faux fur slippers.

4. Pilau's furry face acts as a handy snow-gatherer when he's snuffling about outside.

Having been rather busy at work, I have deferred all my seasonal shopping.

I must now venture forth into the great bedlam of the Mall, on the last Saturday before Xmas. 'tis gonna suck.

Calm, tranquil, deep breaths, patience, get the hell out of my way you selfish git! The narrowest bottleneck in a crowded mall is not the place to stand and chat! 10, 9, 8...

lol. I don't even need to click that link. Let me guess....the guy who just went down for 3 years for stealing a bus ?

Let the internet be ur friend. I refuse to venture forth into the masses of stupidity.

Dana, yeah :D It was a good chase.

And you thought HillBillies were only in the States :p

"'Ere, 'old me Watney's and wawch this!"

Excellent accent Toad.

All buses should drive like that!
I love the car drivers giving way - that never happens in real life.

Porbably partly to do with the following police with flashing lights and sirens of course, but I reckon if you knew the driver was happy to ram you, you'd probably let him pull out into traffic occasionally, right?

I'm digging this new C-27J Cargo plane. They are putting the training facilities in Atlanta so I have just read about it. It was long over due since the days of the C-23 which I only saw in Panama.

I am amused with rich people who whine all the time about what fun poor people have. :lol:

classic's user title. You brat! :lol:

Guess you shoulda answered yer phone.

I was up front waiting on students! Happy New Year to ya! :)

Everything is funny today.

So the Guantanamo thread reminded me of an old song, for which the only title I could remember was One Ton Tomato...because that is how I sang it when I was a kid. So I googled One Ton Tomato. JACKPOT!

http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/peteseeger9.shtml

Only I sang it: One ton tomato. Well she's a one ton tomato. How many jokes have I invented without even knowing it? ;)

Mum on the phone, telling someone (else!) about the recent trouble with my niece. When talking about the taxi driver that brought her home 20 miles through heavy snow on the promise of payment at the other end she said, "And he wouldn't even take any extra money! And he was a Muslim!"

I know she tries.

Went to dinner with my parents last night. It will be their 30th anniversary on Jan 25th and they're goin back to their honeymoon spot. I know from previous stories that my mom and dad eloped. From my previous understanding they met in Florida, fell in love, and then my dad decided he needed to move for a job. He told my mom that he didn't know where he was gonna end up, but he would send for her when he got there. Mom squashed that idea, told him she was going with him. I assumed that is when they traveled to back to Texas and got married in the Wylie courthouse.

Mom was talking about how they met in Florida and how she only spent 3 months in key west. She left for Florida on July 4th, met dad and they moved back here in October. I thought about it for a second, and went "Wait, you got married in January, that means you lived together before marriage!"
They had never told us this before, and they were outraged when I moved in with my boyfriend without getting married. They always claimed it was horrible for a person/relationship.

I am so freaking amused by their hypocrisy. Every time I think about it I smile and chuckle...

Bless her. So many people are willing to shout from the roof tops the second a muslim is less than friendly/respectful. Or even when theyhave third or fourth hand stories of muslims who have been less than friendly or respectful. It's nice to hear someone doing the opposite.


I have a friend (Jill) who is a lovely lass, good working-class values etc. Little bit racist :P Not in a nasty way: she'd never be vile to anyone and gets on very well with several asian people in the area, including one old man who comes to the pensioner's group she runs. She was telling me about her niece's baby who was born on Christmas eve majorly premature, teeny tiny thing. Parents can't touch him yet. She was expecting to see it mentioned in the Courier (local rag). But no. Wasn't there. Oh but they had mentioned another boy who was born that evening, also premature but nowhere near as early. 'Oh yeah,' she says, with a knowing look, 'They mentioned the Asian baby'.

*shakes head* Like it;s some kind of conspiracy.

She's also convinced that if an Asian walks into the benefits agency they'll be set up faster and better. That if they go to the housing office they'll jump the queue and be given a big house.

Bless her though, she's stopped saying paki when I'm there :P

He knew, she knew, if he didn't get his money his underwear would blow up.

A friend got a call over the weekend that a hoarder's house was being cleaned out, and they were throwing away a bunch of albums. My friend is a big music collector, so he couldn't resist. He 'only' brought back around 450, but his companions grabbed a couple thousand each. Here they are, dumpster diving.

God what a find. I would have taken them all. And my wife would have killed me.

Even Leo Sayer?

She's baaaccckkkkkkkk...(I think, has to be)

http://www.cellar.org/member.php?u=16001