Mine is now in "Working well, leave it alone" mode. ;)

It's 0320 and I'm wide awake.

I've just been woken up by a police helicopter (distinctive sound) that hasn't moved more than a few hundred yards in the last ten minutes.

Presumably there's good reason for it to be out at this time of night, but it's still an irritating nuisance and it's getting louder again!

They're probably chasing a COVID-19 carrier who's escaped quarantine. Don't open your doors.

nothing like the sound of a hovering chopper to help me sleep..... well ok, boat engines, vacuum cleaners, thunderstorms, washing machines.....

can you sleep better knowing it will probably spot the bad guy before they break in to your house? what?

Or prompt him/her/them to break it to grab a hostage.

The phone rang at 0725 today.
A call before about 0900 is usually an urgent matter if not a full blown emergency.
Having rushed to answer I was greeted with the usual call centre noises associated with a scam.
It didn't take long to confirm what I suspected so I brought the call to an end PDQ.
We haven't had a great number in the last couple of weeks but I believe that this might be due to a recent edition of Panorama exposing their methods.

Most of the programme was based on the work of 'Jim Browning' an IT professional who invests a great deal of time and effort in exposing the scammers.
Fascinatingly, by hacking into the call centre's own CCTV system he was able to see the person he was talking to.



I think that some of the scammers ended being rather more irritated than me.
Not before time.

LINK Not viewable outside the UK but the relevant material is all in Browning's YouTube channel.

I need TP for my bunghole.[/TheGreatCornholio]
 

I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!!!!

Attachment 70048

So, in the interests of maintaining a clean bunghole, I went out early this morning in search of toilet paper. At 7:00.

WalMart looked like Christmas eve. I had to park a good four hundred feet from the door. When I topped the hill coming upon WalMart, I saw the parking lot full to the gills and said 'Well, this can't be good.', and it wasn't. No paper products except plates and bowls. No tp, no tissue, no paper towels. But, they did have large rolls of bubble wrap on the ends of three aisles.:eek:

Dollar General Market wasn't open yet, but there was like 25 cars in the parking lot. I almost took a spot, thinking maybe these ppl know something I don't. I continued on.

Piggly Wiggly had three six-packs of paper towels. I took one, another guy came around the corner of the aisle and took another. He looked at them, looked at me, and said 'Close enough.' I said 'Me too.' And I went home.

The paper towels prolly won't flush well, but I got a 3 gallon bucket with a lid that may get pressed into service as a poopypaper receptacle.

And I have an emergency roll (¾) under the back seat in GrandCherokeeOne.

Close enough.

I have Cornholio still sealed in the factory packaging.

Might have to open it and use the packaging...Don't forget to grit yer teeth, because cardboard.

I'm thinking about going out to the country and picking up a bunch of corncobs...

Bear to Rabbit: Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?
Rabbit : Nope!
Bear :::wipes arse with rabbit:::

Fortunately I have so far managed to avoid the great bog roll brouhaha.
Some months ago it became evident that my 1992 car was unlikely to pass its MoT (annual test) so I took the plunge and ordered a new vehicle.

I knew that there would be a delay in delivery of the new car so I did a 'mega shop' before parting company with old faithful some weeks before the current panic set in. This, by great good fortune, included a fair number of loo rolls so we're OK for a while.
However, there's always a downside. I'm having to go into town by train and return burdened by bags of other shopping twice a week.
I'm finding it a bit of a struggle, to be honest.

BTW, Gravdigr's experience at Walmart was similar to mine in Tesco on Tuesday.
There was not a single loo roll, box of tissues or roll of kitchen towel to be seen.
It's a substantial aisle and normally stocked from floor to ceiling.

Anyway, onward and upward. :)

I buy toilet paper online, UPS delivers, single ply, 100% recycled, 96 rolls/case. Living alone that's good for years. I stopped at the Supermarket on the way home from the doctors yesterday, bottled water and paper roll products looked like the only thing they didn't have. Oh, and organic bananas, I don't buy them but noticed the display was empty.

My local Giant finally had some TP yesterday. Individual rolls of Scottissue in loose paper wrapping, maximum two per customer.

That's the stuff you can read the newspaper through.

That stuff's John Wayne toilet paper, won't take shit off nobody!

The (loud) music in this doctor's office waiting room is about 75% Michael Jackson. Which to me is weirder than 100% Michael Jackson. Like, "Celebration" just played in between ABCs (Jackson Five, technically, but I say it counts) and "Eat It," but when "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" slipped in about 15 minutes ago, it faded out early, unless I'm wildly misremebering how long that song is. And now we're on some B track I don't even know, but it's definitely Michael Jackson. Utterly bizarre.