It started a couple of days ago.

Dazza complained that he feels pressured to come home at a certain time (which is not my intention) because I ask him what time he'll be home and I told him that if I don't ask, he doesn't tell me, and I always try to put a meal on the table for my family, so it gets wasted if he stays late and eats at the office etc. I told him that I consider it my job, and that if he doesn't at least try and let me know, he's showing no respect for the effort I put in for him.

Anyway, so the very next day, he sends me an email saying he wont be home till 9pm and I thought, well that's a start, but what happened was I left his dinner for him to reheat, but when he got home he said he'd already eaten, so I think, "fuck you with a fat stick sideways areshole! Don't you listen to a word I say???" I said nothing though because I'm sick of wasting my fucking breath.

So yesterday, I went to visit my cousin and another one came as well, and we were sitting having a chat and Lisa asks me how things are going with Annie (a cousin from the other side of the family) and I said fine as far as I know and so Lisa then tells me that she heard from the oldies that she's got hodgkins disease and they gave her the wrong Chemo and now she's going to die.

I lose myself in tears as they tell me my brother was telling the aunts at a familiy picnic we couldn't get to on the weekend because of other commitments.

So then I start to see red and wonder why my fuckhead of a brother can't pick up the phone and tell me, his only sister about our cousins illness before he tells family members who aren't even actually related!

I tried to ring my brother, but he didn't answer, so in the end, I rang Annie.

Turns out it's her mother (my dead mothers only sister), but she had hodgekins from ages ago and she's been undergoing treatment for it for many years and I'm very much aware of her situation, except that I didn't know he liver almost collapsed from all the drugs and that she was in hospital.

It's still very upsetting realising that the fight my Aunty Anne (yes, same name as her daughter) has been fighting is drawing to a close and that she's not expected to live all that much longer, but it's been on the cards for years, and we've all considered it a miracle that she's still with us, so not quite as bad as finding out my perfectly healthy cousin is about to die - which of course she's not, but for those minutes I suffered all the grief and shock just as if she was.

So pretty much people in my family doing the usual family gossip thing and everything gets ballsed up and I'm the one that has to go through that, on a day where I'm already feeling fragile because of the non words I've had with my husband.

So last night I drank two bottles of wine and took sleeping tablets.

Today I feel like shit, but at least I'm in control.

Wow Ali - thats a lot of bad to deal with all at once. (Hugs)

I was shocked when I found out how little the jurisdiction actually got and how much the police pay to have them there.

I guess there is a savings involved also from not having an officer at the intersection, but still.

Ali, men are really clueless sometimes. He heard you said wanted to know when he's coming home. So, he emailed you the time. Perhaps he thought 9PM is late and that meant he wouldn't be eating at home. Tell him again that you'd like to know if he'll be eating at home or not so you can leave him dinner. And yes, add that you would also like to know when he's coming home if you would also like that info. Trust me, he may drop that info and just say he's gonna eat or not. It's not that they don't listen, they just sometimes don't understand what we're trying to say. I hope you feel better, Ali. :)

I agree with Lola - Its all the woman's fault. :rolleyes:

Lola, although I appreciate your suggestions, and they may partly be true, this is an ongoing issue which I've begged him to get help with because he's not getting the idea from me.

He had an abusive upbringing till he was about 12, after which time his mother basically left him to fend for himself. He's never learned how to care how his actions affect others and he was more or less single till we married 5 yrs ago. By single I mean he'd never really lived with a woman before. His living arrangements were either him by himself or with other bachelors.

He just has no idea, and after about 7 years of trying to show him a better way, I'm at my wits end. He needs counselling to deal with what happened to him as a child which is a direct catalyst to the type of behaviour I am trying to deal with now.

It's not that I don't love him or feel he doesn't love me. He just doesn't believe the issues are that bad, but they've just about reached breaking point because the kids are picking up his habits, and are starting to believe that's the way it's meant to be, and I'm not going to have that.

Anyway, can you tell I'm still pissed off?

Oh, and on top of that, my butthead brother hasn't apologised for his stupid decisions either. I'm surrounded by men who seem to think it's ok to treat me like a fucking idiot mushroom who needs to be fed a constant stream of shit.

Ack, Ali, hon, that sounds horrid. Hate that churned up feeling. Hope today gets brighter. And as you say, at least today you feel in control.

Thanks Dana. I think I'll have a nice hot shower then go to bed soon. I'm buggered, and it'll be a big day tomorrow. They're letting my Aunt go home, and I'm the one who's going to be taking her there, so I guess I'll probably be pretty busy with her most of the day. Then some friends are having a party for their 20th wedding anniversary in the evening, and then footy break up party on Saturday. I think I'll need a holiday soon.

What's Upsetting Me Today?
 

A large, wet, muddy puddle under and around the fire hydrant in my front yard.

:facepalm:

Ali, just try to remember they are not doing this to hurt or upset you.
I'm sure both love you.

I'm not on a high horse, I'd be talking consideration and manners and all sorts of swear words if I was in that situation.
Maybe you & Dazza should consider counselling together. If'n you could ever get him there.
It doesn't mean crisis, it doesn't mean imminent break-up, it just means someone to mediate and give you ideas and examples of how to talk to eachother.

Re your bro - meh.
I can never please my sister. But then she doesn't give a shit about me. I'm only there to be complained about. Being blood does not mean thinking or feeling the same way.

It's shitty for you, but at least you have good people in your family so you can get the truth.

Hang in there chick.
Family (blood or marriage) conflict is the worst, because it leaves you without a safe haven.
Hope things get better.

Ali: Sorry to hear about your situation. I actually have more to say but being a single person, whatever opinions I have is just superficial and unrealistic to your situation. I hope everything will work out eventually. Btw, I'm glad today is better for you. (Saw your comment from another thread. :))

I'm upset because I feel like I'm losing a closeness I have with a friend that means a lot to me. :(

This is so frustrating!
 

This morning I woke up and went to put on my glasses when I discovered that the left lens had fallen out. Huh? I'm sure it was there when I was reading in bed last night. I'd have noticed it was missing because my eye sight is awful. I am legally blind without corrective lenses. My back-up glasses are an old pair that is so scratched up, they are almost worthless.

So, I started the search with only one eye. I looked EVERYWHERE - under the bed, beside the bed. I shook out all the bed clothes - nothing. I got out the broom and swept under the bed - nothing except a few dust balls. I checked the hamper in my bedroom, shaking everything out - nothing. I have gone over my bedroom three times now - nothing. That lens has got to be there, but its not.

It will cost me two or three hundred dollars to order a replacement lens. I don't have two or three hundred dollars. And I bet as soon as I go down and order it (assuming I can scrape the money up), the damn lens will turn up somewhere. I'm probably missing it because I can only see out of one eye.

And I have a headache.

Damn, damn, damn...

It's developed into a business. I think that is among the biggest complaints about them, not that they don't catch speeders or people who run the red lights. We have a few here.