Where is Aliantha?

at a south seas resort with her midgets

Oh I see.

I've been giving the cellar a swerve lately. Haven't even been reading posts. Not sure why. I've just been sorting things out. Last year was pretty shit from start to finish except for the cakes, and by the end of it, I really just wanted to curl up into a ball and give up, but I'm making progress and things are progressing, so all in all, I'm doing ok. Focusing on the kids and my business.

My friends keep telling me I should be dating, but honestly, the thought of even being close to anyone on a romantic level or even just for sex is not even appealing. I never thought I would ever feel like that. Not that I'm pining away for my marriage either. I'm quite happy with the way my life is at the moment. Definitely don't want to share my personal space with anyone.

Reaquiainting yourself with yourself. Very important. You don't need any help with that. I'm happy to hear from you again. Take this phase as is comes. This too shall pass. We'll be here.

So you find yourself in a position you always though would suck, but find yourself comfortable in it. Yeah, that happens sometimes, and I agree it's a big surprise. When it challenges what you've always believed and took for granted, it tends to make you wonder about other ideas you thought were set in stone.
It also tends to be disconcerting if you dwell on it, so it's better to roll with it knowing at any time you're uncomfortable with where you're at, that can be changed. Even if you can't sail away then and there, you can hoist anchor and start drifting away. :thumb:

I was afraid that i wouldn't be able to cope on my own, which was a dumb idea because I always have before, so I don't really know where that fear came from. Probably because I was totally dependent on him financially (a position that I have never been in before in my life) and I forgot that I am a resourceful woman who doesn't need anyone else to run my life for me in any way. I gave up all my power through the course of my relationship. Bit by bit it was all gone because I allowed it to happen. I made excuses for it such as needing to be at home for the kids etc, but in the end I've found a way to be here and be independent also. I don't know. It's taken a while for me to see things more clearly. I'm not angry anymore. Not really. There are still things that I think maybe need dealing with or maybe I just need to let it all go. There's still a part of me that hopes maybe things can be fixed for the sake of our family, but I haven't come to the point where I'm willing to let go of that hope yet. I'm not really feeling the love anymore though, not in the way I think I probably should, so I don't know if it will ever work again. He says he's ready for marriage counselling. I'm willing to give it a go, but I think it might be a little too late now. I really don't spend much time thinking about it anymore. It'd be nice for the kids though, but not sure we'll ever have a conventional marriage again.

It may be too late for counseling, but might be interesting too. You're coming to the table from a different place now, a place of strength, without the nagging fears that if it doesn't end in reconciliation you're fucked. As a result you can be more open with your feelings of what worked and what didn't. What ever you decide to do, and however it plays out, you're cool.

Oh, and wear something that lets your nipples poke through, it drives every guy crazy. :haha:

i don't think my husband would care. That was half the problem in our relationship. He wasn't interested in sex with me.

The man must be an idiot

Or has severely impaired vision.

Takes a little while to relearn being yourself I think, after a relationship. We kind of become a different version of ourselves with someone else. Which is fine if you're in sympatico, but when a relationship has run into trouble, that sense a shared self can become an incremental trap. Aspects of yourself that fell away or were subsumed into your partner/family start to feel like a loss. The thing I found really liberating was not feeling in some way partially responsible for someone else's state of mind.

Maybe things can still be repaired for you guys, who knows. Not needing them to be, but open to the possibilities is a very strong position from which to approach counselling. Has to be right for you though, Ali - the kids will be fine in a family that doesn't all live in the same house, but you already know that a relationship that isn't working is not fine to live in.

Just my tuppen'orth. Whatever happens, I hope life continues to get brighter.

That's crazy. I've had sex with you 3 times since yesterday.

In my dreams

:lol2:

I hope someone has been feeding our Bunny. Her foodblog has been empty for awhile.

Last I heard she was back in Texas for Tet.

I thought maybe she was too upset to eat 'cause The Boss isn't coming to NC.

Perhaps she was/is celebrating her birthday (yesterday) She posted over there.

I tried posting pictures because I've been cooking.....yay!..... but phone or forum won't let me upload pictures. So, I resize and email them to myself. Then I have to download onto my laptop when hubby works because that's where I get my wifi for my laptop. But then I would find out the pictures are too big....just by a few k, so I have to go back and resize then email then download then post up. UGH!!!! Too much work, so I finally got lazy and stopped trying. :-( Also, my hubby has been working lots of night shifts too. I can't stay with him at nights anymore, so no wifi for me those days.

Bruce: I responded from NC when I got back from Texas.

There has been some real adjustments for me, especially since my hubby had to work nights so often. I'm okay staying home by myself during the daytime. I've started driving by myself and going further than just 10 minutes away. But I don't know if I'll ever be okay staying home by myself at night. I'm actually grateful there are 2 cats to keep me company. On days he's home, I'm always out helping him in the woods. I have not been bored or free. I always up to something.sorry if I neglected the forum. I'm here because I'm using my hubby's friend's wifi. Hubby mowing his friend's lawn. Anyways....gotta go. Hopefully I can jump back here soon.

.:headshake

Glad to hear life keeps you hopping. That's good for a Bunny.

Lola Bunny - I worry about you. I can stay with you on those nights when your husband works.

oops! I'm sorry. :blush:

Okay. I'll be sure to let him know. He does provide me with shotgun, revolver, a pistol and plenty of ammos. He wonders why I'm scared. :lol:

Heh.

:D

Has anyone heard from Buster lately?

Seems like a couple months since he posted.

Buster sent me a message two weeks ago asking about a thread.

A few months back he asked me to stop sending him emails be cause of some trouble with his system. I don't know if he was talking about his computer system, or his nervous system was tired of my bullshit. I'll email an inquiry.

Thanks Bruce - I've been thinking about him too. We were exchanging messages, then he just stopped replying. Hope all is well in Busterland.

Thanks for checking Bruce.

Shit. He sent me a PM saying that his laptop was afu. Wanted a copy of a boot disc. Totally forgot to look for it.

I suck

Well? Anyone?

Well I'm still around. My old XP box with all my junk on it is down. Trying to use a Dell laptop w/win 10. What a bunch of crap. I do check in every week or so. Thanks to Glatt for the link. Also Bruce for posting that I'm still alive. And any others who cared to ask.

Good to hear from you, sir.

We were worried.

Yay, it's buster!

Hey buddy. (waves)

Buster!!! Yey:)

Alive!

Hey buster, good to see you around, have you seen orthodoc lately?

I figure she was successful and too busy, or failed at snuck back to Canada in embarrassment. The latter would be a shame because the deck was heavily stacked against her, and she shouldn't be embarrassed about getting screwed. :headshake

Since she wasn't talking about moving, it seemed like she was opening shop in the same area her previous employer operates in and many employment contracts in her field have noncompetition clauses which preclude that for a year or more post employment. I wonder if she initially avoided that clause, got a concession on departure to not make waves; or, opened up shop outside the noncompetition radius. That occurred to me at the time; but, I figured it was none of my business.

I hope she's just busy and didn't run into any legal problems. I hope she's not exhausting her cash reserves if business is slow in picking up and getting her established.

Her suit against her former employer may have put things on hold too.

News just in: Ortho says "Hi!" and thanks for thinking of her. She's had stuff to deal with which tends to make her go and deal with it, but she'll be back shortly to tell us all about it.

Ah, thanks Limey, nice to know she's still fighting. :notworthy

Thank you, kind lady.

...and *this* is why Australia is too goddamn far from Kansas City.

I'm here. If you're ever really missing me, you can email me or send me a PM here. I get email notifications. :)

We have good reason to worry about you...

Not to mention the drop bears, and the trees that follow you home and bugger you in your sleep...

Yeah man - they're the worst

Hey, sorry to have been quiet. Things have been exhausting and somehow I crash every night without checking in. I had to move my father back to Ontario, and his health promptly headed straight downhill. My practice has pretty much failed, and ...

Yeah, that.

Business has been too slow and I owe the bank too much. I got a contract with a client for 4-5 days/week onsite, which limits my practice to independent medical exams and pilot exams one day/week. The contract will help with the bank loan but I don't start getting paid until October.

I had a worrying mammo and some bone issues but am back on track again. The mammo turned out to be a false alarm after some additional imaging and tests, and the bone stuff was a pathological fracture due to cancer meds - but not the metastatic kind of pathological fracture, so I'm happy to just have bone pain that isn't cancer! Somehow the fatigue is still there, so with long days (long commute to work) I fall into bed and still never seem to get enough sleep.

The lawsuit is slowly wending its way through the bowels of the EEOC; that has to finish before anything else can happen. I suspect nothing really WILL happen in the end.

I need to check out the threads and catch up, but wanted to say hi first. :o

I'm glad you're still fighting. Even if it's a strategic retreat at this point, you're undefeated. I'm curious if you've been getting any moral support from family, if not cheerleaders at least not critics.

Lots of moral support from immediate family, glad to say. Not from my siblings regarding my father, but that's another story.

Half a loaf, I guess. Rooting for anyway. :cheerldr:

Thanks for checking in Ortho. We've missed you.

Hey, grav! Hope all is good with you.

And, Bruce ... thanks.

What Grav said.

Hi there. Glad to see you back.

Does anyone have any info on Bruce's absence this last week?

We don't necessarily need details, just want to know if things are ok.

He sends out a daily collection of cartoons and funny shit for years. This morning he announced, it's over.

I wrote to ask him if anything was up.

His short reply was cryptic.

:worried sick: