You got it 100% correct - different strokes for different folks. You've chosen what is best for you two. That's the right thing to do.

My ex step-father paid my ex $1000 to return to her maiden name. (Which was fine to me btw, I could give a shit what she calls herself)

Before she got married, she wanted to lose the name because she didn't like her abusive family. But money talks, even stupid money.

Thus far my mom took her husband's name - got divorced - took her maiden name - married my dad - took his name - got divorced - kept his name - got married - took her husband's name

too...much....paperworkkkk

After my mom divorced her second husband (my dad,) she decided that rather than go back to her maiden name for the second time, she'd choose a new name entirely: her own mother's maiden name. On the one hand, I thought this was a little weird, but on the other, it meant she didn't have to deal with yet another name change when she eventually left my stepfather.

You just described my mom, Fob. 'cept she took an (alleged) old family name from generations back. Then hyphenated it with her next husband.... No idea what she's using now.....

In UK, it's not the norm to go back to the maiden name after divorce so much. Costs money for a start....

Yeah, a friend of mine's mom never went back after her divorce because, as she put it, by that point she'd spent more years of her life as the husband's name than the original name anyway.

I kept my married name. Easier to spell and pronounce, and my first, middle, and last names are symmetrical in number. :blush:

I reckon going with the Spanish way of things is the solution.

When a woman gets married, she keeps her name and adds her husbands name. e.g. Jane Smith of [husband's name], meaning that she continues to be there are kids, then the kids have both surnames e.g. first name + father's surname + mother's surname. All names are put on all documents. Confusing to get one's head around at first, but I reckon it works.

The Spaniards still have the same problem, they just don't use hyphens.

Jane Jones Smith (Jones being her mother's name, Smith being her father's) marries John Doe, and becomes Jane Jones Smith de Doe. They have a daughter, who is named Sally Jones Smith Doe (because remember, Jones isn't a middle name, her mother's last name is, in fact, considered to be Jones Smith, and Sally's last name is Jones Smith Doe in its entirety.)

Sally marries Pedro, and becomes Sally Jones Smith Doe de Santiago...

Ad infinitum or ad nauseam, whichever comes first. Most rational people start dropping names from the middle at some point, but I have seen documents (researching Spain for a thing in college) that prove not everyone is rational in this regard.

It's a shame that meme was around at the time, we could have wrapped it, or chopped the bacon and stuffed it inside, would have worked pretty well.

Marcie Dahlgren-Frost: Dahlgren is my maiden name, Frost is my married name. I'm single again, but I never bothered to remove the Frost. And I get compliments on the hyphen.

I know a woman who had to have surgery to have her hyphen removed!

Was she still able to have a period? :D

A period of mourning. :)

Would that be the mourning after?