Yeah, I'm pretty sure this one was a morning commuter who threw a cigarette butt out the window. People just don't understand that you can't do that around here, at least not between the months of May to November.

I was a smoker a long time, all though my young and stupid period, well into my old and stupid period. Along with later discovered misplaced lit cigarettes which thankfully didn't end in catastrophe, at least hundreds of times I've intentionally tried to set things ablaze with a cigarette. Believe me, it ain't easy. Even things I'd been told were extremely flammable, like hay, straw, wood shavings, etc, is much more difficult than you would think to light.

Not saying it doesn't happen, it does. Fire experts say a lot of deadly house fires were caused by cigarettes... or rather the careless handling of the same. But I think a lot of outdoor fires, with uncertain origins, are randomly blamed on smokers.

Know what I mean, Vern.

House fires, I'll grant you. There's electrical problems, gas ranges, all sorts of things that can start up a fire inside a house.

But what else causes the side of the road to suddenly burst into flames? It happens literally on the embankment, a few feet from traffic. Can low-quality car exhaust systems let out sparks on occasion? (I'm genuinely asking, I don't know shit about cars.) I guess side mirrors could in theory reflect enough sunlight, in ideal conditions...

A piece of broken glass magnifying the sun, spontaneous combustion of a container of chemicals, a piece of hot metal or burning material off a vehicle, but I'd bet on a sick fucker with a bic.

Like I said it can and does happen, but you'd have to throw a shitload of butts out to get one to catch, even when it's tinder dry.

Walk the highways. Some shoulders are now completely covered in cigarette butts. Today, our drug addicts no longer use ash trays. In the 1960s, there were almost no butts. Just plenty of cans and bottles.

Did we do, "Holy shit, my clitty is on fire" ...yet?

Or Holy Clit, My Shitter is on Fire?

If that's what you're into, I won't jugs--I mean judge you.

If your shitter or clitty is on fire then you are doing it wrong.