| Elspode |
09-10-2003 08:24 PM |
No, no, no...I don't want an SUV. I *want* a fucking 500 HP Corvette. If I'm gonna get shitty gas mileage, I want to get it at 150 mph.
What I *really* want, though, is my camper, and it is big enough that it needs to be towed behind something, hence an SUV. I tried towing it behind a Lamborghini once, but do you know how bad a camper sways once you break 100!?
As I often say, I'm a bad Pagan. I don't have room to recycle, I drive a vehicle that is getting (after actually driving a full tank without towing anything) 19 mpg, and I haven't planted a tree on purpose since I was 14. But let's not forget that those same Brits who are now apparently driving rubber band powered carbon fiber and spider silk shelled vehicular contraptions are probably using gasoline only for flavoring their otherwise unremarkable cuisine. Meanwhile, with my SUV, I can pile about fifty pounds of ribs and a smoker into the back end, toss in six cases of beer and four lawn chairs, and go hang out in the parking lot of Arrowhead Stadium in style, eat like a king, and watch Pittsburg get their asses whipped this Sunday.
Well...okay, I could do that if I had a job and could afford the scalped tickets, the $20 parking fee, and the price of spareribs and beer.
Finally, need I remind you all that there are few who have suffered as long or as strenuously as KC sports fans? Thank the gods that football season got going before the Royals tanked. Sigh.
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