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-   -   Most & Least Favorite Ways to Cope (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=3888)

daniwong 10-10-2003 12:59 PM

Just as a side note - we were discussing the other day how vagina is kind of an "icky" word and how we wanted a cuter name for it.

My friend then mentioned how her Dad always called hers a "sugar bowl". HAHAHHAAHA

Also - on the note of my above discussion - the 12 year old is a very smart intelligent girl. However - we are in for hell when the 8 year old gets older. If she has the same questions I'm almost inclined just to lie in order for her not to be pregnant by the ripe old age of 14.

daniwong 10-10-2003 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Undertoad
A great approach! It is so much better to hear a sincere adult answer. She'll know that you're the honest one, the one who respects her, and that she can talk frankly about these kinds of things with you. And she won't get some weird nonsense in her head from getting the story from other kids.

And when she grows up she won't think of sex as something half-mystery, half-evil, so she'll be more realistic about it and she'll have the right tools to make good decisions.

Thanks Toad. I normally find that honesty with Kids is the best policy.

Also a great book to read is "The guide to getting it on." Its rather funny and has 3 chapters on how to talk to kids about sex and bodily functions.

warch 10-10-2003 01:10 PM

My sad sex ed
When I was 9 or so- 1971ish- I go into Spencers Gifts, you know, to look at the cool fiberoptic thingy, the 7up can socket, and blacklight posters...and they had this t shirt with a smiling little egg on it - "you'd smile too if you just got laid" Well I thought it was so sweet and cute I had to buy it. When I showed to my mom she was paralyzed, red faced. I couldnt wear it. Why? Cause its naughty? Why? What's naughty about this cute little egg? I never did hear an explanation, just forced to return the merchandize.

A couple years later I got what I thought was a five dollar bill for change from some store. On closer examination thats no president! There are people who seem to be eating some sort of frozen dessert confection- or...ewwww is that a dick?! My friend's mother confiscated it before we could study it too closely, but it was intriguing and a source of conversation for some time afterwards.

That's it! When I got my period it was my girlfriend's older sister who told me what to do, set me straight. I never told my mom and she never asked. I was mortified that my dad would find out for some reason. Like I'd changed and he wouldnt treat me like his kid any more. Sex, body stuff not discussed in our home. Coped with via blinders.

OnyxCougar 10-10-2003 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by daniwong
Just as a side note - we were discussing the other day how vagina is kind of an "icky" word and how we wanted a cuter name for it.

My friend then mentioned how her Dad always called hers a "sugar bowl". HAHAHHAAHA

When I was in England, I heard it referred to as "her fluffy bits". I still giggle....

juju 10-10-2003 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by darclauz
ummm...ya don't tell them about the orgasm part.

just the other stuff.

that's NEVER covered in sex ed... =)

Why not? That's like the WHOLE REASON people like sex. Without that, people just look like idiots for liking it.

darclauz 10-10-2003 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by juju
Why not? That's like the WHOLE REASON people like sex. Without that, people just look like idiots for liking it.
one of the saving graces for the adults is that, for awhile anyway, kids think sex is icky. orgasm is best left for later.

i was an exhibitionist kid... we were sort of country, and i was shirtless till probably 5. my dad sat me down, and explained in GREAT detail about sex, and boys, etc, etc., and why i wasn't to go without a shirt. it was more WAY more than i needed to know, and that extra knowledge really twisted me up. because he explained SO MUCH i was very curious...in a too-much information kind of way... and I went wandering through the secret places for more info. that led to a porn discovery and great interest... and i was twisted up for years.

not too much info. kids really don't need to know as much about it as we think they do. i read a story about a little girl who asked her daddy, "where do i come from?" he sat her down, explained body parts, and details, and birth....told it all. after he was done, there was a silence, and she said..."oh. tommy comes from cleveland."

daniwong 10-10-2003 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by darclauz


one of the saving graces for the adults is that, for awhile anyway, kids think sex is icky. orgasm is best left for later.

i was an exhibitionist kid... we were sort of country, and i was shirtless till probably 5. my dad sat me down, and explained in GREAT detail about sex, and boys, etc, etc., and why i wasn't to go without a shirt. it was more WAY more than i needed to know, and that extra knowledge really twisted me up. because he explained SO MUCH i was very curious...in a too-much information kind of way... and I went wandering through the secret places for more info. that led to a porn discovery and great interest... and i was twisted up for years.

not too much info. kids really don't need to know as much about it as we think they do. i read a story about a little girl who asked her daddy, "where do i come from?" he sat her down, explained body parts, and details, and birth....told it all. after he was done, there was a silence, and she said..."oh. tommy comes from cleveland."

I agree - little kids do not need to know that much. However from the ages of about 12-15 I would really prefer if they kiddies come ask me than get some sort of screwed up notion from their peers. I mean - I can remember growing up thinking that I was completely dirty and nasty for having my period. Then - thank god - my best friends mom explained it in detail. If that wouldn't have happend - I don't know what I would have done.


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