I just had a conversation via facebook messages with my secondary school maths teacher. He retired from teaching about 9 years ago due to osteo arthritis, but sounds like he's thoroughly enjoying retirement. It's 21 years since we last spoke :P
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wow. ze interwebs be powerful.
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Ever notice how getting pregnant is so much worse than having sex?
It's like, if a teenage girl gets pregnant she is whisoered about and pointed at. But suggest that teenagers don't have sex and everyone would laugh in your face (outside of strong religious circles). I knew someone who split up with her long term partner, and his new g/f got pregnant within a few weeks. They had been on-and-off for years but her attitude was, "Well I'd never take him back now" as if by impregnating, rather than just having sex with another woman he'd crossed a line. Aside from issues of contraception and shared child-rearing, there does seem to be a knee-jerk reaction to sex meaning more if pregnancy results. Perhaps it's a numbers game. |
It's the tinge of irresponsibility--yes, sometimes the condom breaks and 1% of pill users get pregnant, but statistically, people who get knocked up ended up that way because they didn't use proper contraception. When I was a teen, I used two methods, and the boys didn't even know about the second so they wouldn't try to argue about the necessity of the first--and yes, I looked down on girls who didn't take precautions like I did.
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I think it's more subtle than that, myself. I think that pregnancy is basically proof positive of promiscuity (in society's eyes). As long as people are sleeping with each other and nobody's pregnant, it is private. As soon as a women is pregnant it brings it out into public view. It also transforms the woman instantly, in society's eyes, from free individual, to responsible carer. We want our responsible carers to be morally acceptable and thoroughly intergrated into our social norms.
A pregnant teenager or adult one night stand offends (even if only at a vestigial level) society's norms and so the pregnant woman is automatically being judged immoral and therefore potentially dangerous. We are sophisticated enough to deal with women having sex, but we are not yet sophisticated enough to withhold judgement on a mother-to-be. Like I say, all at a fairly vestigial level. |
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having a baby also affects relationship dynamics. The girl says, "well, he's having sex with another woman. Asshole." THEN the other girl gets preggers and now there is a whole 'nother dimension to it. It's no longer him and her and her. It's him and her and her and the baby. Babies change the dynamics of couples in long-term, commited relationships. In short-term on-again-off-again relationships a baby is a deal breaker. Another human being with those two people's DNA is coming on into the world. It IS worse than having sex. An affair may be forgivable, but a constant, walking, talking, money-needing, care and love-needing person around to always remind you....not so easy. |
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I've been wondering....are we being post whores who DON'T get paid, or are we the paid kind?
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I think we get paid in 'gifts'.
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Parcel post whores?
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Haha. Very good.
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All that and there are all kinds of things that you HAVE to do while sacrificing what you WANT to do. Lotta people can't handle that. Personally I am on the other side of this as my kids are now all young adults and I am finally getting some time for me after 20+ years of putting my needs and wants away until after all theirs were satisfied. |
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If I'm like completely over this thread, am I a post Post Whore?
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I prefer, "post woman of the night" thank you. :)
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