I understand that I may appear to be catastrophizing, but I have reasons to dread what may be in store. For one, my profession is one that shows me how often things really do turn out catastrophically. It's a bit like being a cop. You see how badly things can go.

Secondly, my daughter had a difficult childhood. One of her brothers (my second son) had a diagnosis of early-onset bipolar disorder among other things, and was very violent throughout his childhood and teen years. He was admitted to hospital twice for trying to kill his younger brother. We had in-home help through the Wraparound program in our area but couldn't keep workers, because they couldn't handle my son. I looked into, but could not afford residential treatment. Our home was chaotic and violent and my daughter did not necessarily learn the basics of good decision-making; she learned to escape, avoid, and appease. This may sound unbelievable, but help is just not always available no matter what people think, and many, many families live with violent children where everyone is in perpetual fear and uncertainty.

So, no. My daughter emphatically did not have a 'well-adjusted' childhood, for many reasons. There are others that I prefer not to get into. Trauma doesn't come only from poverty or drug addiction. I fear for her because I don't think she has the tools to help her make sound, self-protective decisions at the moment.

Im so sorry.

But she does have you. And you are smart, tough and strong. That means a lot.

Painfull as it may be you have to sit back and let them slam into that brick wall called reality every now and then ,
they will learn , a few Bloody noses are generally involved but they will learn

A few bloody noses I can understand. Been there done that. It's a little more than that that I'm worried about, plus ... it doesn't matter. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If it kills you, it's someone else's worry.

Like sexobon said: life is hard, then you die.

Anyone with a shred empathy ticks off the possible pitfalls, in their mind, when a friend/loved one appears to be fucking up. Hell, we do it watching people on the news or the silver screen.

Mostly there's not much we can do except bite our nails and watch it play out... unless we(or an employee), are willing to capture the(red) flag.

Red flags can be hard to capture ... but trust me. If it's possible, I will. I have skills of my own.

Ortho, would you like us (the cellar) to have a word with her?

;)

I wish ... unfortunately, I think this is something she has to figure out on her own.

This was my mass family emailing sent by my niece today... she is about the same age as your daughter..



I would have to be a moron not to know she is talking about her soon to be ex hub. Pretty sure this was directed to her parents but she likes to include us all. ;)

I pray she is not going back to this [ex?]meth head adulterer.

I told her helping someone, even someone who did you wrong is ok but being a doormat is not. I hope you can tell the difference. You are worth more than a place that someone wipes their feet.

Hope she remembers to help herself, Nirvana.

Meth head adulterer is a nice resume'. Good advice, hope she can hear it.

Orthodocette ... you want a 20% increase on earnings, lifelong, or not?

Niecevana ... enabling exploiters does not help them. Not really.


I blame Twilight for romanticising abusive relationships to vulnerable teenage girls.

I blame the entire history of the world.

and how cool boys look in black leather jackets.

These douches in Mali are blaming history and pissing me off today.

that is sickening.


what is WRONG with these people??