Driving in real life or does a video game count?

in a car

Then no.

Have you ever stolen something from your employer (besides time)?

OMG, yes. Turns out, it was a felony.

Have you ever lied FOR NO REASON?

yes. Have you ever tried to fart and made poopies instead?

yes (blessed be the 1st dry fart after the squits)

have you ever 'spackled' a toilet stall at a public place and left it?

NO (ick)

Have you ever seriously contemplated the fact that you might REALLY be insane?

No...don't need to think too much about it.

Have you ever seriously contemplated whether or not someone else has lost their marbles?

Yes.


Have you ever been the only person who thought something should be done about the aforementioned nutcase so that everybody in their family had an excuse to turn on you instead? (Mari is inelligible for this one)

(I'm cheating, but no, I know for certain that I'm not 100% sane. I have the paperwork to prove it, too.)

Back on track.

No. But I have thought that something needed to NOT be done, so as to continue diverting their family from myself.

Have you ever gotten inordinately annoyed at a TV Show/Movie because they mis-represented an insanity that you are very familiar with? (Either through personal experience, or by being close to someone with personal experience)

Yes. Frequently.

Have you ever sent a gushing, adolescent fan letter to anyone famous, after you were out of adolescence?

Yes. Sometimes we end up corresponding but then I accidentally say something bizarre and end up feeling they must think I am insane.

Have you ever waited in a line to get someone's autograph?

No.

Have you ever heard a songbird chirping in the rain at 2am and wondered if someone was playing a joke on you

No

Ever have an orgasm in a classroom?

Hey! No fair! :D

Back on track:

NO

Have you ever had an orgasm in church?