I thought it was "the sky".......

grumblegrumble *stalks off to stomp and rant under a bridge* grumblegrumble

There goes another hobo.

female troll. many here would not disagree with this. let 'em rip, people. I'm in a mood. and NO, it's not my "period" but thanks for thinking that, you potato heads.

Shit, she meant me, but I think I'm so charming!

Spineless, skittish, jellyfish people.

Seriously, how do they live with themselves?

For the most part they need to float in a fluid of some sort.

The fluid of lies and the juices of the phonies.

:lol:

Did you just define alcohol?

mudluscious Just Spring?

more like shit-luscious out today. Just back from walk with the Jack Russel and it's shite out. soupy, misty, muddy, raw umber day. I prefer the Crystal Blue days but I suppose you can't admire those if you can't compare them to their opposite.

Jealous of Labrat's "Sunny and Splendid!" forecast.

gah! Nutty weather.

Perfect weather for the grass seed I put down on a few bare splotches. Nice and moist.

True Conversation:

Me: "Mom, I'm going to go see a podiatrist friday; my feet really hurt. I think I have plantar fasciitis."

Mom: "Lose ten pounds."

Sounds like my mom! I missed passing my test by two friggin questions; instead of "Oh, you're so close!" or some such support, I got "Well I'll bet you're disapointed in yourself."

"Lose ten pounds," and "I'll bet you;re disappointed in yourself,"

one more and we'll have the Mother Shame Trifecta.

eta: I'll PM Sheldon. He'll know the other one.

Not sure what to add here. I was the baby and the only boy. I could do no wrong in my mother's eyes. Got away with a LOT!

but aren't you a ghey? and Jewish? Come on - you gotta have SOMETHING for us.

Nope. Spoiled rotten and I knew it.
Now my SISTERS...They could criticize.

I believe it's "I'm not surprised, the way you act" as a response to any tale of woe or injustice.

Today I am upset at the prospect of having no support when I leave Cornerstone (the day care centre I am at). I suppose I'll find out what, if anything, is available at my Care Plan Assessment meeting on Friday. But Friday is also the day I am discharged. I'm worrying myself into a state at the idea I'll go from a daily supportive environment from 10.00-15.00 to a fortnightly visit from a busy psychiatric nurse, who I'll get at best for an hour - not long enough to even update her on my mood.

I'll also miss having a dedicated care worker looking out for me - contacting my GP practice, telling them to prescribe things (if I don't know they exist, how can I ask for them?). Getting my interim meetings re alcohol. Making sure I get to see the psychiatrist on site. And all the rest.

I'm going to have another go at volunteering. Probably gardening this time. In fact the building behind Cornerstone is asking for gardening volunteers so at least I'll be on the same premises.

And of course Oasis (nee Addiction Counselling Trust) have two groups I can attend, so that fills up some time. I see my case worker there tomorrow at 09.00, so I can discuss my fears with her. And get acupuncture, and have more beads put in - my ear I mean, temporary things for stress.

Sigh. It's just a long road until I get to psychotherapy. Best estimate three months. But I can't really move on until I start dealing with the underlying issues I have, or I will be back worse than where I started before I know it. As it was I spent three hours crying this evening after I came home. The realisation of what was coming (following a group called "Preparing for Discharge"), a silly thing where my brownies got overcooked in baking, and the an accusation from my Dad, via my Mum, that I had "stolen" her debit card and used it behind her back. Untrue of course, but it brought it all flooding out.

Still a bit weepy now.
Time for a cup of tea perhaps.

Actually my breasts are really sore and heavy. Perhaps I'm prone to hormonal shifts after all.

love you, Sundae. :warmth: :cuppa: :hugs:

Oh hon *hugs* that's horrid. Best thing about days like that is they expire at midnight.

You're going to do just fine Cherry, really you are. The every day support is great and I know it's been a massive help for you, but you won't crash and burn the moment it's not there. Really you won't. That part of you that is taking you down these good roads won't let that happen. Place your trust there. You are strong. Even though you may not feel it. You are.

You've engaged with the fear for a while, now you need to set that to one side. It can't help you. Don't ignore it; recognise it but postpone it. Something to reassess after your first week.

*another hug*

Pilau offered to hug you too, but I told him he's far too smelly.

Lots of hugs from here too. But I'll be careful around your sore breasts. :D

Dammit.

I just got word from my old job that a friend of mine has less than 24 hours to live.

Smitty worked in maintenance, and was one of my very favorite people. He was an admitted wild child back in his day, and had only settled down a little. We made each other laugh every time we ran into each other, and I could beeatch about my job knowing he would beeatch back and it would never leave the confines of our conversation.

I guess he has Hepatitis C, something I did not know. I spoke with my ex boss just now and she said she did know and was surprised it wasn't common knowledge.

He is a good man, a happy soul. So many days I threatened to switch jobs with him, when I would see him out on the riding mower on a beautiful sunny day, smoking his cigarettes and enjoying the world.

I'll miss you Smitty. :(

:sad:

sorry Shawnee. that sucks.

A ferociously aggressive form of genetically-based ovarian cancer killed my beloved SIL less than 2 yrs ago. Now my SIL's sister has had a recurrence of cancer w/biopsy scheduled (but it looks like it's the same cancer), and her niece has an estimated 3 months left. My niece had prophylactic surgery already but I know she has worries, too. Damn damn damn damn. :(

They need to wipe out ovarian cancer...the sneakiest f*cking cancer for women.
I'm so sorry, sweetwater.

All worth repeating, SG, even including the smelly hug from the dog!
:grouphug:

Shawnee and Sweetee - I'm really sorry to hear your news. Wishing you, too, strength.

It's sad to hear of all this at the same time. Well wishes to all.

My glasses broke this morning.

My son needs at least one baby tooth extracted because they're not coming out on their own.

The ex-I'm-still-in-love-with said he wants to be friends, but then is completely ignoring me, so that it seems like an entirely one-sided effort at friendship, which is an even weirder, more subtle form of rejection and is making me feel terrible and pathetic for even trying.

First off, there must've been something in the air today because my students were all being particularly crazy. Teaching today was a long, arduous task, and when the school day was over I had to take off like a bat of hell to get to the university campus.

I had a portfolio due today as one of my final requirements before graduation. It's a full four inch binder and represents about three years worth of school work, not to mention several hours of lost sleep this past week putting finishing touches on it. I turned it in, and the woman behind the desk said "Yep, looks good!" and pushed it back across the desk to me. I'm grateful I got the sign off, but it's so frustrating to have spent so much time on it and for her not to fully look over it.

As I was leaving campus, I got rear-ended. Greeeat. My very first car accident. Thankfully, I am okay, and the car is not totalled, but the trunk is completely fucked and will probably need replacing. I have stuff I need to grade stuck in there that I can't get to, so it looks like I'm getting the night off.

The guy wants to try and pay cash for the damage, and I'm not sure what to do. He was driving a company truck and is scared he'll lose his job if they find out he had an accident. I think it's going to be a little more than he realizes to get it fixed. I feel bad for him, but I'm thinking it'd be best to let insurance handle it. Suggestions/advice on how to handle it are welcome.

Sounds like a sucky day, I'm sorry. :(

My ex was rear-ended (by Joaquin Nin-Culmell, of all people) and did the cash thing... it worked out well. He took the car to get an estimate, took the estimate to dude, and dude just wrote a check... no hassles.

You're insurance company may have SERIOUS issues with you not reporting an accident. If the trunk is as messed up as you say, I would call them IMMEDIATELY

I would lean toward the insurance company. It sounds like major repairs--not just patching up a couple dents or something like that--and you have no idea how much they will cost, or how much trouble you'll have shaking the guy down for the money.

That depends a lot on whether it's a newer or older car, and whether it has comprehensive coverage or liability-only. At least in Oregon, it does. I imagine other states may vary a lot.

I'd report it to the police immediately, get an estimate and tell the guy how much it is. If he balks, then tell your insurance company, but don't wait more than a few days to tell them.

My best friend had a similar experience. Although the guy involved couldnt afford the whole repair bill. He ended up with the guy paying about two thirds the cost of repair. Though it cost my friend a little, it was no where near as much of a loss when compared to losing his no claims bonus.

Yeah, I called the cops immediately. The College of Education is adamant about reporting anything remotely law related to them, and I wasn't about to chance it three weeks before graduation. Turns out our local police doesn't invesitage crashes anymore unless there was a serious injury. They don't even file a report, and neither of us got ticketed. The officer took my insurance info and the other guy's info and wrote it on a form so that we'd have an official swap, and then reminded us that we better not tell the insurance co. we filed a report because there was none. My husband also called the insurance company right away, and they essentially said "Okay, call us back later."

I have my left brake light out, and the trunk lid buckled in so that it won't open. Trunk lid looks pretty messed up and we're thinking it'll end up being replaced. Looks like there was minor damage to the back part of the main frame (I think that's what my husband called it... I'm not too good with cars) and so that will have to be pulled out. Oh, and the bumper is kinda half-off, half-on, and we don't know what the deal with that will be.

The guy is very insistent that he's willing to pay cash, so for now our plan is that my husband will take the car in to get an estimate today, call the guy up, and if he the guy balks we'll call the insurance company.

Sigh.

Don't forget about any medical reprecussion Choc. You might not start feeling any pain for a few days, or even longer, but you should get checked out yourself. I would go the insurance route, especially if the other guy has insurance. Even if he doesn't and you're willing to let him pay cash, I wouldn't settle on an amount until you're sure you didn't get injured.

my guesstimate is $4200.

The last time I was rear-ended, I did call my insurance and they laughed at me--"Wait, he rear-ended you, right? Call his insurance." Choco's insurance shouldn't be involved at all unless it turns out the guy is uninsured.

Well I'm done at Cornerstone now.
I had a good cry after getting my Care Assessment Plan.
It is indeed one visit every fortnight.

I'm lucky - I have two in a row, but that's because my CPN goes on holiday the week after that. She says we'll discuss whether I see a colleague of hers or whether I can manage for two weeks without an appointment, given that I am having two in two weeks.

There were some good things.
They can work with me on some things like getting accommodation, making sure I get the right benefits, getting funding from a local fund in order to take some classes (creative writing for example).

Am done with the crying. Trying to set out a timetable so I have plenty to do.
I do expect to feel a little lost at 10.00 on Monday though...

Bingo, classicman -- the estimate today was $3,600 + whatever damage is on the inside once they finally pop my trunk open. Husband called the guy who hit me, and the guy had a response to the effect of "please go get another estimate, I have a buddy that can do the body work, I found this trunk lid on eBay..." so hubby hung up with him and immediately opened a claim with our insurance company.

Our company will be the one we deal with, and they will be the ones to hound the other guy's insurance company. Looks like I'm stranded for the next week or so until we get it fixed. :(

Excellent - Thats what you pay them for. Let them earn it.


No rental coverage???? That should be covered by his insurance.
Call them directly, immediately!

Classicman is dead on, I think: Busted trunk lid, two busted real quarter panels, both tail lights, bumper and bumper cover, lower trunk and probably the trunk floor. I'm guessing this hits $4500-$4900 total after they get to see inside. There is no way the guy will be able to pay for this or handle it correctly.

It gets kind of strange. He had been texting me and has been calling rather frantically to try to figure out some way to pay out of pocket. This morning the guy emailed me with a trunk lid and bumper he found on eBay for cheap and says he knows "a buddy" that can do the repair work. When I told him the estimate I got, he pleaded with me to get a second one because he was sure there was no way it could possible cost so much. "Don't do anything until you call me. I will find the money, somehow."

Uh...no. I feel really awful for the guy and hate to be the one that makes the decision, but there's no way he can make this work. We don't even know the full extent of the damage until they actually start working on the car, and if they discover the gas tank has been knocked off a bracket and dented or that the frame is torqued, we're screwed if he doesn't have the cash. Really, we can't have one of his old high school buddies try to tack on a new bumper he scrounged online and beat on the frame with a claw hammer so that he can not get in trouble with his job.

I guess we have to keep an eye on this headache Choco has developed today as well, which we're fairly certain is just stress related. If not, that's absolutely nothing for an out of pocket expense.

Oh, yeah, we do have rental coverage as well. Adjuster is dropping by to take a look on Monday.

Doesn't seem to work that way in Florida. Hooray for no fault. :rolleyes:

Hahaha NOOOO FREAKING WAY

If he wants to pay out of pocket, he can pay for what you need done by a professional, not a bunch of weird parts slapped on by his "buddy". That's ridiculous!

I imagine it'll be a tough time as you become accustomed to the change. You're in my thoughts, SG. Hang in there!

Didn't we already have a thread about getting rear-ended?

If I didn't, somebody else would.

I echo that. I was injured in an accident, and I STILL have problems with my neck and back because of it. Those kinds of things do not always show up right away, and they are expensive to treat. From the damage you describe, it sounds like he hit you pretty hard.

Not to scare you or anything, but Natasha Richardson died recently after developing a headache after a skiing accident where she hit her head. Choco should go get checked out asap. You really do not want to screw with injuries like that. It could be nothing, or it could be something, and the sooner she is treated the better.

my son treats me like shit.


he really does. it makes me a stew of sadness and angery...Angry, sad stew. and I love my son, but; wow. He can really wipe his shoes on me like I'm some doormat. Brings up a lot of feelings....

Damn Bri. *hugs*

thanks. I guess it's typical 17 year-old stuff; but it's ALSO the way I've let him treat me all these guilty years...


my fault, of course.

Bri, my stepson does the same exact thing to his father. I hate to see it, but am powerless to change it. Gary lets him walk all over him too.

man.

phone call from the son who is with a friend at another friend's house. Time: 11.00.

"Mom, I hit my head pretty bad on some monkey bars (playing nighttime tag) and I've got a big gash in my head..."

Me, just waking up..."uh.....ok....I'll come get you."

I get the kid. I am obliged to take kid to his father's house so the MAN can decide what course of action to take (remember, I am the unreliabe and crazy AND newly recovering from god-only-knows-what THIS time ex-wife). I have JUST been woken out of a sound sleep. Father decides I am drunk or high and tells me to leave the boy and the friend with him, he'll take kid to ED and I should just run along home.

I feel two things: mad because he thinks i'm high when really I'm just sleep-sodden, and like, well, I deserve this treatment as I haven't been the driven snow all my life, now, have I?

*hugs* Bri. Just gotta stand up to it, as hard as that might be, and remember it is not for forever. It is typical teenage stuff. *more hugs*


SG- we're here for you, and believe in you!

Leaving aside the marginally useful subject of blame for the moment....

Let me first say, I'm so sorry to hear this. It is unpleasant, having experienced it firsthand myself.

But I want to ask you this: When will it be better time for him to learn the proper way to interact? When will the habits become less ingrained? When will the accumulated hurt be less? Decide when that time is and ACT at that time.

I don't know your sons. I don't know *how* to communicate the importance of respect to them. But you and I both know it is important, even if he doesn't know it or won't acknowledge it. And seventeen is probably old enough to possess the maturity to understand. So he can learn. He needs to know right and act right. And it will be a hard, and likely long battle.

Think of it as a gift to them. Be strong, show them the way. You can do it, and they need you to show them.

Why didn't/couldn't you take him straight to the ER?

Who here has behaved in a way that makes them ineligible for basic human respect?!

No one.

If your child behaved badly would you lose your respect for them? Would you counsel them to not expect to be respected? To shun it? To reject it?

Do not model such behavior for them. Show them how to deserve respect. Even if it means showing them how to earn it after it has been lost.

eta:
I sound like a preachy m*therf*cker. I don't mean to be preachy or self righteous. I'm not. I just know that kids, even seventeen year old kids, need limits. Limits are crucial for a kid's well being and proper development. The world, (of which they have had limited experience) is a largely unknown place, and many of the places where they *think* they know, they're misled. From the playground talk to marketing poison, they're surrounded with misinformation. And at seventeen, they can do an impeccable job of appearing to know what the f*ck is going on. Don't be misled. They might be partly right, by talent or accident. But they don't have it all nailed. And treating their parents like shit is part of the wrongheadedness, for whatever reason. They want to know the right way. Even if they protest otherwise.

--zippin my lip.

At the moment what's upsetting me is my tummy. Blech. Chicken soup, matzoh and tea for dinner tonight.

Oh I know Big V. I established boundaries with this kid very early on in the marriage. He knows what gets him in trouble with me and he knows that I always mean business. Therefore, I really get very little lip from him...or at least for not as long. His Dad is another story. Its like a practiced dialogue with the two of them. Gary gets angry and theres tons of yelling, but the boy yells right back. THAT drives me insane. As soon as the kid raises his voice to me he is in for it...I ground him or take the keys away. Gary seems to allow it. *shrugs*