@ Sundae. That sucks, hon. *hugs* But probably explains why you were feeling so tearful the other night.

@ Tiki. That's an awful lot of power for somebody to have over your day. Don;t mean that in terms of some kind of conscious power play, just that with or without realising it, he's left you waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Just a thought; but you now have an excellent tool in your laments. You know that 'something' is about to drop on you. Keep in mind that when it eventually does, you'll probably want to catch the essence of how that makes you feel. If you have that waiting as an intention, it will be a parrallel thought when you are actually faced with whatever it is. That may make you feel a) less raw and b) more in control: you would after all be not just reacting and feeling it, but also internally analysing and trying to articulate at the same time.

Even now, with it hanging there. That in itself is worth exploring. You've created yourself a tool to deal with how he made you feel, and the loss its left you with. That same tool can be made to help deal with things as they happen. With how he makes you feel now.

You've probably already thought of this. I doubt I'm saying anything new. But I can see your laments being a powerful mental and emotional tool for present woes, as well as producing wonderful poetry and reassessing past emotions.

Thanks, Dana. Yes, I agree... as each emotion comes up and seems overwhelming I'll channel it into a lament. I was trying to start from the beginning, but they've dropped out of chronological order as I find myself focusing on, and using, whatever memory/current emotion is strongest. No doubt whatever it is he's sending will trigger something.

I'm in this place where I want to be done with them, but not because I actually am done with them, if you know what I mean... it's mostly that I am yearning for the place I'll be when I am truly done with them.

*nods* I know exactly what you mean, I think. I remember feeling like that. Expressing it through writing really helped that. It was like, I dunno, the me that was writing was almost like a preview of the me that I'd be when I was clear of it...that make any kind of sense at all?

Yes, it does... and also the writing is giving a purpose to my strong emotions, so I don't feel so helpless.

Far from helpless if you are effectively choosing how those emotions are going to fit into your life. You've already planned out what you want from them, from the exploration of them in poetry, from the eventual destination. I'm immensely impressed with the way you've created a structural framework into which you can place what you feel and both understand it better and mould it to your own use, creatively. The 99 laments is a genius idea, structurally.

I read this and its stuck in my mind. I hadn't thought of it this way.

Thank you!

The end . . .
Is just a little harder when brought about by friends

One of my friends keeps talking to me in riddles. I'm never really sure wtf he means. He always asks for your input but never gives you enough insight to know wtf is really going on. It's as if he is asking a question he really doesn't want a reply to. I reckon he'll talk about it when he gets ready and quit the guessing game. Friends. I love 'em.

just pour him another glass of scotch and smile quietly.

great idea, classic.

well that or drink yours and his, THEN smile quietly.

Henry Q is a friend of yours?

Well we just put the second of our three Rhodesian Ridgebacks to sleep just about an hour ago. I put his brother to sleep in Jan and now it was his turn. I asked the vet to cut him open and see if he could put his finger on why he has been deteriorating so quickly over the last few weeks. It turns out he had liver cancer so it was time. A difficult but responsible decision for any dog owner. RIP Simba. Our vet, who is also a close friend, is going to bury him next to his brother Gurkha, out on his property.

Oh Merc! I am so sorry. To lose two friends so close together is hard indeed. My thoughts are with you.

Sorry for your loss merc. :(

Sorry to hear the bad news Merc.

Yea, another tough day in our family. My son is crushed because he is rushing home from college to get to see him one last time before we put him down. We had to call him and tell him not to rush. We just couldn't wait any longer. It was time to end the suffering. In the last 2 or 3 days he couldn't even step up a 12 inch ledge. Thanks for all your thoughts Lime, ShawShaw, UT.

Sorry man, I know how tough that is.


I bet he's chasin bunnies in doggie wherever already.

:( I'm so sorry Merc. I know how much you loved those dogs. Give my sympathies to the family.

I watched an episode of the Dog Whisperer earlier and there was a Rhodesian Ridgeback. I thought of you.

Oh Merc, I'm so sorry. Terribly sad. And your poor lad, he must be so upset.

How's the remaining dog coping? This must be such a strange and confusing time for him.

Very sorry to hear your sad news, mercy.

Makes me thankful only my T1s are down.

First thanks to all. Yep they were my boys and I still do have one left.

Dana I am not sure the last guy knows the other is not coming back. He is 3 years younger and assumed the pack leader role as soon as we lost Gurkha. He has relished his new role and done a surprisingly good job. We have always had 2 or three dogs. We have already discussed getting another one if we can find the right dog.

I am truly saddened by this news. My thoughts are with you.

....will take a moment to snuggle with mine.....and be grateful.:sadpace:

Sucks, Merc. But kudos for knowing when to call time. I hate when people drag it out for their gratification.

Wow, I just read this thread. I'm really sorry about your puppy dog. It's terrible to lose a pet that you love. One of my friends recently had to put her dog down thanks to liver cancer. Apparently it's fairly common in dogs which is something I never knew before. Anyway, my thoughts are with you. I'm worried I'm going to be in the same place with my Sheba later this year depending on how she copes with winter this year.

I hope you can find a new puppy to love just as much as Simba.

Man, Mercenary, I'm sorry. :(

*hugs* Merc. So sorry for your loss. I'm glad you had the strength to do the right thing for your friend, as hard as it was.

That sucks Merc. sorry!

Sorry about your loss merc.

Thanks again everybody.

I am sorry, Merc. :( My parents recently had to put down their Golden. It just isn't the same at their house, now.

I'm so tired. I hope things will not be like this for long. Too many heartbreaks. Last night a very good friend had a heart attack. Only 40... he seems too young. He's OK, no major damage apparently. Another friend splitting from her partner of 7 years, another, adrift because he didn't get into his Master's program.

I want everything to get better, but I don't know how to make it.

Ouch, that sucks about as big as possible.:(
Do you know what took Ghurka?

Cardiomegly and Congestive heart failure is what caused me to put him to sleep. I just guessed the other one would have had the same problem. Simba developed insulin dependent diabetes within a few weeks after Gurkha was put down, which I thought was kind of weird, but he did. Now looking back on it he most likely developed some form of obstructive common bile duct due to tumor that would not allow insulin to be secreted from his pancreas.

Fucktards who say they did not close the business date, when obviously they did or their business date would not be the next date if they had been reconciling the correct date. Oh well, they get to start over, altho they most likely have closed that date already. Thats what they get for not knowing what the fuck they're doing.

Sorry to hear about your dogs Merc, how lucky they were to have you as their owner.

Not upsetting....heart breaking.

My extended surrogate family (from when I was younger) found my beloved horse *Roy* dead in the paddock.

Im really in shock, Sez has been showing him for the past few years as she needed a bigger horse to go on with and he has been living there. They fed him at 4.30pm and went to get him to stable him for the night and he was in the middle of the paddock...not a scuff mark or struggle mark to be found. Too cold for snake bite, so I am guessing a heart attack..?

I've had him for eleven years (since he was just 4) and he really was one of the family, like a big cuddly dog who didnt know he was a horse.

Oh Ducks, how awful. So sorry honey. *hugs*

Bummer, he was too young. :(

Wow, sorry to hear it Ducks. Isn't that a pretty young age for a horse to die?

Sorry Ducks. Horses are a lot like dogs. They are near human. We tend to be closer to them. In turn, that makes saying goodbye even more difficult. Hugs and comfort your way.

Sorry to hear that, ducks. :(

I am sorry, Ducks :(

What is it with the celler critters ??!!!!
Merc sorry to hear about yer dog
Ducky Sorry to Hear about yer Horse

so sorry ducks.

RIP Roy. :mecry:

:( Peace and best wishes, Merc and Ducks.

Poor Roy, only 15... I'm sorry to hear that. :(

Sorry to hear of your loss Ducks.

Thanks guys, yes Merc, its very young for a horse. He has stable buddies that are 27.

He had a lovely spoiled life.

Burial this afternoon, which is difficult, the excavator is digging a hole.

Im so sad :(

Mercenary and Ducks, I am really sorry to hear of your losses. My condolences. ::hugs::

Oh, that's too sad. :( So sorry for the loss of animal friends. I hope that you will remember the good times. There's nothing I can say.

It's tough losing a family member. Even, or maybe especially, those that walk on four legs.

Peace be with you and yours.

Damn Ducks. I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

My son's chick appears to have an intestinal blockage. :(

Give it mineral oil. 1/2 to 1 tsp.

And stand back. In the chicken raising world it's called cropbound.

She also has sour crop. I've flushed her crop a few times, but feeling her crop, I can't find a blockage. She's tentatively picking at food and I've been giving her droppers of yogurt mixed with water, but it's still not looking good.

There's been a death in the family, and I just found out about it tonight. Everyone assumed someone else had told me, but they hadn't, and the funeral is tomorrow in a town about 3 hours drive from here. I'd like to go, but at such short notice it's not possible.

That's what you get for keeping to yourself too much.

My mother in law has a sick obsession with my husband's ex wife. She has started posting pictures of her and my husband from when they were together on facebook.

Wow, do I feel special. :greenface