Wow. That really does suck. Sorry case.

Some prick is angling to have today's iotd taken down for copyright violation.

Sorry case - thats awful.

Oh, man, Case. That's terrible in an extra special way. :(

That sux. I always wondered about that. :neutral:

Does your MIL realize she's hurting you?

It's a suckful thing for her to do, but I guess there must be something about the ex that she really liked. That doesn't have to mean there's anything about you that she doesn't like does it? Maybe she's just trying to be supportive of her grandkids and show that she doesn't hold a grudge?

There's only one solution, case. Mothers-in-law are 100% completely and totally driven by the presence and condition of their grandchildren. You have to have a baby with mac_tire, and then all of a sudden you'll be her new favoritest person in the whole world. [/voiceofexperience] :rolleyes:

...Or, the target of even more negativity as you fail to measure up to her high standards of mothering and begin the slow agonising process of ruining her grandchildren, forcing her to take charge and intervene for their future happiness :P


Sounds like a nasty situation Case. But, at the end of the day you're with your partner, not his family. Doesn't make it easy, but it's worth reminding yourself now and then.

Thanks, you guys, for your supportive suggestions. It has been 5 years, now and yes, it is a painful and near constant thorn in my paw for as long as I have known mac_tire.

Ali: Unfortunately, I am unable to talk to MIL about how it hurts me, because I am afraid she will not take me seriously, and instead cut me down to the ex-wife and in other gossip circles (primarily the religious faith group she is a part of.) Or she might take my complaints as efforts to control mac_tire and evidence that I am the reason for all negative changes in his (her) life. Either way, it will only make her worse. She once told me "he seems happy, but really he isn't...you are just a phase in his life that I know he will grow out of." I swear she must think he is still 6. Yes, she does favor the ex, because to her, she represented "things as they should be." They are both part of the same religious organization, which I don't participate in, and neither does mac_tire. There is a lot of "us vs. them" mentality with them, so they naturally sort of bond together, even at the expense of their children. Yes, I acknowledge that there needs to be an example for the grandchildren. That's cool. But some of her actions go beyond that and into betrayal. Ex, herself, even asked that MIL take the picture down citing that the image was "hideous." (yes, of course they are "facebook friends")

Clod: Thanks for your expert advice. ;) Yes, in fact, mac_tire are in the midst of those very discussions, though not for the benefit of the MIL relationship. She is either going to decide to get over the past and accept mac_tire's choices or not. I guess I need to deal with the fact that I have absolutely no power over whether or not she does that. And I should not flog myself over not being accepted by MIL. I suppose having a baby with mac_tire would suddenly turn the magnet to her and she would want to be uber-involved, which would not actually be an improvement. I must be careful not to let that affect me.

Dana: Yes, as we discuss the possibility of growing the mac_tire/case clan, that is a concern of mine. But, I have a very supportive husband, who will not allow anyone (even MIL) to control how we do things. You are right. I married mac_tire. Not MIL. And the fact that we live 10 hours from MIL is testament to the fact that husband doesn't leave himself or our relationship open to her meddling.

Anyway, I appreciate the encouragement. Now, it is mostly a me issue...I gotta let this kind of stuff go. Once I learn how to do that I am sure I will be stronger for it, all said and done. But I am sure I will have no hair left on my head! :thepain:

Also yesterday I found out one of my cousins is among the 450 troops heading to Afghanistan in May. He'll be there for at least 6 months.

We're all worried about his safety.

We sent of our 148th last week. Had a parade. God bless them.

Fuck.

Going to the adjuster's now.

Sucky!!! I am sorry, V. Did the other guy have insurance?

Christ, it got the bumper, the rear qtr panel, the hatch, the light, and it left a nasty scratch on your license plate.

Ouch, BigV. What happened there?

Yes, she did. I'm in "good hands". If she'd used her *foot* properly, I wouln't have any need of her proxy hands, however good they may be. Actually, there's nothing wrong with her foot. This was entirely a mental lapse. Dangit.
Thank you, sir, for the belly laugh! You forgot both the doors on the right side and the section of the unibody/pan that passes for a frame rail. It has a slight case of the crabs now. :(
May I have the envelope, please......

And the award for the Most Ironic Dwellar in the Rhetorical Question Category is.... Chocolatl!

Honestly, I thougt, of all dwellars, *you* would know the answer to this question. Actually, I thought I'd be accused of being a copycat. Upon reflection I see that you're doing that girl thing by engaging me with questions while I'm doing the boy thing by being alert for conflict. My bad.

It's a fair question.

I was driving SonofV to the hospital yesterday for a previously scheduled dr appt. These appts are very difficult to get and I was determined to keep this one. I approached the end of a line of cars stopped for a red light on one of the arterials here. The line of cars was long enough to extend the whole (very short) block. I chose to stop so that I wouldn't be in the box (intersection) of the next cross street. That's illegal here, as it is in most places. There's a $115 fine if you're "caught in the box". Besides, its a bad idea. Ever been on the cross street wanting to drive straight ahead, but were blocked by some idiot who couldn't stand to be fifty feet further back of the STOPPED car ahead of him? Me too. So I don't block the intersection unless I'm not paying attention.

I was waiting for the light to turn green and for the cars to begin to move and I noticed in the rear view mirror (time s l o w s d o w n here) that that big old white Ford pickup truck was really big and getting bigger and damn quick. I thought, boy, I better scoot up and give this guy some more room (he's GINORMOUS in the mirror at this point) BOOOM!

No screech. No horn. Nothing. She just drove right into me, demolition derby style. Thank goodness I was rolling when she hit me, albeit slowly. I'm certain it deadend the impact. If I'd been up close to the car ahead I'd've been a VW sandwich. I rolled forward to the next driveway and pulled out of traffic. She had room to turn right onto the street I was trying not block. After verifying that SonofV was ok, I gave him the phone and told him to call Tink and explain what's going on and that we would be delayed.

Then I got out and stormed uphill to her truck. "You fucking idiot!!!" "Oh I'm so sorry, oh my god, I'm sorry, etc etc." We very quickly exchanged insurance information and I made sure the tires weren't rubbing anything flammable and that I wasn't leaking anything, flammable or otherwise, and we resumed our trip to the doctor.

In the future, I will verify insurance, driver's license and vehicle bona fides--this time there was none. That's a bad idea. I'll take a photo of her plates, her vehicle, her license, her face, her VIN, etc. This time I just took her word, which, so far, has turned out ok. The claim number she gave me has been validated. That's about all I know so far.

Thank guys and gals for your concern, I appreciate it. I will keep you updated.

It was an honest question and I meant no scheming girlness by it. :) As someone with recent experience in the "some damned fool just barreled right into me" line of accidents, I wondered about your specific hows and whys.

Glad to hear you and SonofV are okay. Hopefully CarofV will soon be okay, too!

Wow, that is just terrifying and awful, V! I'm so glad you guys re OK!

My chick died last night. Right in my hands. :( I buried her under the yellow rose in my back yard.

I'm so sorry. Stupid world. Your story brought tears to my eyes, and this story to my memory. Substitute chick for raccoon.

suck
 

tiki, man, sorry...how are the kids taking it

also, what strikes me is that BigV's damages look way better than my own, which is comical, since I moving less than 3 miles an hour during impace in an accident I had a month ago

by "accident I had" I mean:
Slowly pulling out of a parking space with the grandmother like precision I employ, being a reluctant drive at best, I encountered very suddenly a white acura and slammed the breaks on, but not before removing a portion of the front of his car and denting quite severely the front of mine (over the driveside wheel).
What struck me was that I was barely moving, so he must have really been moving. Sadly, because it was my place to yield, and I can rightfully say how fast he was driving or HOW he came from nowhere (since that is the essence of coming from nowhere) and, also sadly, I suspect, because his is a great big dick (sadder, ultimately, for the stranger and his family than me) I am at fault.
So the dent stays for a bit.

also, that was a uniquely uncompelling post. apologies.
I have been told new people must post occasionally to prove they exist and aren't trolls.

Just because you post occasionally doesn't mean you're not a troll! ;)

But, welcome! I'm a reluctant driver also.

Oh man. I've never seen that particular Calvin & Hobbes before, it was so... reflective.

Daff, the kids are OK. I think Sam prepared himself before bed, he talked to her and cried a little. Juliet took it the worst; she came out around 4 am, saw the empty brooder, and came upstairs to wake me up and bawl. End of sleeping for me, so I'm running on three hours right now. Ophelia cried a little, demanded to see the body, and then was distracted by the new chicks I picked up at the store today.

For those of you who have been keeping track, you'll observe that I often wear a baseball cap. I was wearing one when I was rear ended yesterday and in my confusion after the crash, I didn't know where it went to. I was forced to deploy my backup cap, seen in this picture on the headrest of the passenger seat.

The original cap is also in the picture. Can you see it?

Yep, back on the package shelf behind the rear seat. That's where it landed when I was pushed out from underneath it by the idiot in the Ford. I'm tall enough that the headrest, and I use the term loosely here, at maximum extension comes about to the top of my collar. And when she hit me, my head snapped back and hurled my cap into the back.

Here endeth the (physics) lesson.

Holy crap!

Does your neck hurt?

Back ... and to the left ....

Back ... and to the left ....

Back ... and to the left!

I'm just glad you were prepared
 

When I lose my bra I never have a spare

Hey V,

Any chance we'll see a picture of you anytime soon with a smile on your mug? Or at least a little less like you're doing your Charles Bronson impression.

Does this happen often?

So I got knocked out of a mosh pit Tuesday night - landed on my tailbone and both elbows, hard enough to splt my right elbow enough to require four stitches. Hit my head, knocked out cold. The residual aches and pains are not going away and I am really tired of it after only two days. Have my daughter this weekend - know she'll want to play, but I will want to be sedentary. She's awesome enough she'll understand, but I hate feeling like I can't play with her. Perhaps I'll invite a playmate over for her...Thank you for letting me vent. That is all.

I have a cold

Your Highness, what was the band? Sounds like an awesome concert.

You cut me dar.

That's just my regular face, the one I inflict on everybody I meet. You're not the first person to make this complaint. I'm just glad all I have to do is wear it, not look at it.

Please accept my sympathies.

Ouch V. Sorry to hear that. Why didn't you guys call the cops and get her a ticket? She did hit you from behind.

My MIL takes the stepkids for a week each summer (something that was initially put in place as part of an agreement that she has completely failed to adhere to since then, but I digress,) and ever since Minifob was born she's been pushing to have him for that week as well. We have always told her no, both because Minifob still has massive separation anxiety and would be miserable the entire time, but also because she just does not comprehend the reality of what it's like to care for him day-to-day, and can't wrap her head around the fact that it's not as simple as, "Oh, we'll just take him to fun activity X today, I'm sure he'll enjoy it!"

So, again this year she pushed to have him come stay with her, and again we told her no. But Mr. Clod, trying to phrase it delicately, told her that "Next year would be the soonest we could even possibly consider it." And now she's marching around talking about how she has to "get ready for next year." Mr. Clod has tried to reiterate our position more clearly, but her response to that has been to insist that what she will do is come stay with us for a week so that she can really get a feel for everything he needs--you know, because she'll need to know it for next summer! If we let her come stay, that will be a tacit acknowledgement that she gets to take him next summer, but if we tell her no we seem to be telling her she can't even come visit us. There's no way this will go away quietly on its own.

Yikes, Clod. Not a pleasant situation at all. I'm afraid I have no useful advice to offer...*hugs* sorry, best I can do.

Clod, what about phrasing in the fact that your family is still getting used to a new diet among many other things, and that what Minifob really needs right now is stability and routine? Is Grandma really prepared to go completely GFCF for a week?

Fob, by next summer he will have been to school for a year. maybe he'll be fine. sounds to me like she's willing to give it her all to be a good grandma to minifob. Sure, he's not your average kid, but even your average kid has separation anxieties the first night or two they spend away from mom and dad. Are you really doing him a favor by waiting until he's older for him to learn to deal with these feelings? i think it's great for her and minifob that she wants to come and stay and learn how to help him. I know, hard for you, but you knew this wasn't going to be a bed of roses. right? and maybe, just maybe it will be just fine. maybe she'll come to stay and get the hang of dealing with him, maybe he'll come to love and trust her, maybe she can even stay in for one night while you and Mr Fob get a well deserved night alone together.....

how far away does she live? can you maybe compromise with next year, but only two nights to start and we'll stay nearby so if he's trully inconsolable unmaneagable, we'll come and get him after one?

Got 4th place today at horseshoe tourney. Loser. This time.

I must be missing something. What is it that makes minifob not an average kid? I apologise if this is something well-covered that's passed me by.

See here Dana, Minifob thread :)

Fobble - Im hearing ya. I too think its great that the MIL wants to have Minifob for a week, but I think a week is a looooong time, plus if I read it correctly, she will have the other kids as well? The overnight idea seems like a good start at least, then MIL will feel like she is getting a *chance* and you guys get a nite out.

My Mum is well and truely frazzled having the boys for a day and just over night, yes they are a handful, but they are just typical boys.

Thanks Ducks. I just assumed that was just a 'stuff my kid does' thread. I tend to skim over stuff like that, depending on my mood. I hadn't realised what the title meant.

I find the Minifob thread amazing, mostly because it started as a 'stuff my kid does' and evolved into such a wonderful view into the world of a parent of an autistic child. How it really unfolds in real life -- not what you see on TV. And what an inspiration Clod is! :thumb:

I feel like animals are running my life.

I've two kitties and a (new-ish) doggie.
There have been some hard feelings on both sides.

Last night, my sweet Carly threw up on my bedthrow. In the wash it went.

this morning, some poop magically appeared on my JUST CHANGED bedsheets. A little dog looked mighty guilty.

all I do is wrestle them apart and clean up after their puke and poopings. it's like having toddlers ALLLLLLL over again.

sigh.

The bright side is that they don't live as long.:rolleyes:

Toddlers?

recipies?

My father and sister are ardent Jehovah's Witnesses.
For the past eight years, they've been not-so-subtlety hinting that they would like me to leave Freemasonry and join them in "The Truth".
And I have told them that I have no intention of quitting Masonry to make them happy.
My life has no bearing on them, but they insist on trying to interfere in mine.

Well, everything came to a head May 1st.
I was informed that I was no longer allowed to visit them, call them, or in any way contact them.
All because I didn't want to join their religion.

Fuck it.

She thinks she is, but she isn't. Over Easter she delivered a bunch of candy, happy to tell me that she had checked the ingredients and "gluten" was not listed. :rolleyes: I have sent her several documents explaining what gluten is and the hundreds of ingredients that it hides in, but she doesn't understand.

He had four nights away with both grandma and Daddy at home while I was in the hospital with Minifobette. That was pretty much four straight days of screaming. Just a few weeks ago we had a bit of an emergency and he did a bedtime with just Daddy, and he did mostly okay with that. But it was in his own bed following his (very rigid) bedtime routine. The last time we were at grandma's house over the holidays, even with me there he screamed until past midnight before finally passing out in his new sleeping environment.

And it's not just the inconsolable part, there are real dangers--aside from the danger of her feeding him the wrong foods, he still bolts unexpectedly in unfamiliar public places, and I know she can't run as fast as he can, nor is she physically strong enough to contain him when he's in full-on tantrum mode. On the upside, Minifob's aunt lives with her as well, and her, I do trust. She's a special education teacher, and just a lot more mentally with it in general.

But yes, it's possible that with another year under his belt he'll be a totally different kid. I just don't want her to think I'm committing to things now that I can't predict.

My Gran used to frustrate the hell out of my mum when I was a kid. She'd give me a slice of cake before mum had a chance to stop her and then when reminded "mum, you know she can't eat egg, right?"

Gran would respond with "Oh!" waving it away like mum's being silly "It's only a little bit of egg".


[eta] Gran was awful for stuff like that. I loved it. I got to eat all kinds of good stuff I wasn't allowed to eat. At six years old the immediacy of cake beat the distance of a bad flare, hands down every time.

That, right there, is exactly what you need to tell her. You have to make it contingent on his capacity to stay away, not her capacity to look after him.

Yes, fuck it. My first wife was a JW and after we divorced she did the same thing to her whole family. It's not you, it's them & their problem. You know damn well you did the right thing by not fucking up your life to placate them. Besides, you'd miss the roasted babies. :lol2:

Exactly.

And roasted babies are Mmmmmm, mmmmmmmmmm, delicious.

Could you do the same thing if it was one of your adult children?

You need a much larger fire for the adult children.

:rotflol:

Or cut them in to Smaller pieces

Electrical problems.
My washer quit today in the middle of a cycle. Along with my water heater and my range. The clock and all the lights work on the range, but the elements will not heat up. When I turn the burner on, the washer 'tries' to work but doesn't. (can hear it kinda humming).
I went out and googled the meter and it looks fine except for one thing....it's not turning. Nary a bit. Hasn't turned in hours and I am running a crockpot, two window air conditioners, lights, 'puter, and ceiling fans.
'Splain that one for me please. I'm thinking poltergeist.

I'm thinking free power!! Woo!