The Cellar - You've got 11 days until rapture

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Just two shopping days until The Rapture, folks ... make sure you have those loose ends tied up ...

I wish I would have known about this a little sooner:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news...ie-Proof-House

Lucky the folks with a zombie-proof house - it appears that it will serve a duel purpose this weekend.

Btw, it is Zombie Awareness Month http://www.zombieresearch.org/awareness.html I'm ordering an awareness ribbon as I'm pretty sure I'll still be here come Sunday.

At first I didn't see how it was going to keep the undead at bay.
Very Bunkerish!

Hurry before its too late!

HAHAHHAHAHAA!

I'll be here to feed my cat. Gawd probably doesn't want me. *sniffle snort*

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey (Post 735129)

I'll be here to feed my cat. Gawd probably doesn't want me. *sniffle snort*

Infin Monkey - MY GODDESS! WHAT is that shiny, glowing celestial sphere?????

Is it a sign of the coming rapture????

Calm down dear, it's an onion.

I'm ready for the rapture.
I have no money left in my bank account.
I have finished my Moon Pies and Pork Skins.
I said goodbye to Tiger.
I've seen Basshunter's huge cock.

I won't be taken up of course, but intend to move into the vacant house of a good Christian family - preferably one with a pool, and drink myself to death. Then Diz can eat my face. Seems like a reasonable plan to me.

I'm really confused about some of the rapture logistics. It seems that the rapture really starts tonight? I'm so confused. How am I supposed to prepare for the rapture when I can't get over my direction and space/time continuum dyslexia? My plan was to drink and drug and rape and pillage until about an hour before, then repent my ASS off.

Now wtf am I supposed to do?

Will one of you smart people please help me understand when I can expect rapture activity in West Central Ohio?

Quote:

The end of the world will be at exactly 6 p.m. on May 21, 2011, says Camping, who along with his organization, Family Radio, are behind those billboards across the country forecasting the Rapture this Saturday. The Rapture, the Last Days, Armageddon and the Final Days of Judgment are all interchangeable. It's when God will destroy the Earth to show his love for humanity.

Is that Eastern Standard or Pacific Standard Time?

Neither, says Camping, whom I interviewed recently for my online news show TYT Now. The Rapture is at 6 p.m. on May 21, 2011, where ever it's 6 p.m. first, with the "fantastically big" world-ending event taking place on a time zone by time zone basis.

That means we can expect the Rapture to start when it hits 6 p.m. at the International Dateline at 180 Longitude -- roughly the between Pago Pago, American Samoa, and Nuku'alofa, Tonga. We'll know it's Judgment Day because there will be an earthquake of previously unprecedented magnitude, Camping predicts.

So, according to these calculations, the Rapture will actually begin like a rolling brown out across the globe at 11 p.m. PST on Friday, May 20th. "Everyone will be weeping and wailing because they'll know in a few hours it'll come to their city," said Camping.

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/...onight/239177/

What about those areas that don't celebrate daylight savings time?

Quote:

Originally Posted by smarty pants

Um... 6 P.M.?

Bzzzzzzz.

No, I read that it was going to be a series of earthquakes, time zone by time zone.

Did you read the quote?

Puh, you're not allowed on my Rape and Pillage Bus Tour and Luncheon Excursion, buster.

Yeah, it's like doing the wave at a ball game stadium. See, it starts at 6 p.m. on the date line, which is like 2 a.m. for me, end then the rapture wave travels along the world and reaches me at 6 p.m. tomorrow. But I'll know about it when I wake up because all the dwellars in Oz, a former penal colony, will be left behind and will be posting about it here.

So I'll have all day to wail and gnash my teeth, or maybe go to my kids soccer games, and mow the lawn if it dries out enough. At least we know the end of the world won't be by fire. Too damp around here.

Ahhh.

What, no pillaging, at the very least? You can repant, I mean repent, right before.

I can't wait to wail, but I'll have to wear my night guard for teeth gnashing as I don't want to screw up my dental work.

Esp. since your dentist was 'pre-raptured'

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot (Post 735184)

Esp. since your dentist was 'pre-raptured'

Dude, you're on fire today.

Pre-raptured. HAGGIS.