The girl (2.5) telling mama, loudly, at the grocery store "You're not treating me right!" lol where does she get this stuff?

I see a future in rap music for this kid.

This might not be funny to anyone not Australian, but Mav was on a roll a couple of nights ago. First he said, "Canberra is the most exciting place to visit" and then a short time later Aden asked him if he was going to do some push-ups and Mav's response was, "After I file my nails."

After the second comment, Aden and I were literally rolling around the floor laughing our arses off.

Not something the kid said, but a story about the kid...


My stepson's mother recently let us know that she's trying to cut back on the amount of soy the boy eats, because soy contains phytoestrogens which can mimic real estrogen in the body... and, well, she's concerned that he's kind of a pansy.

:lol:

I got news for you, lady. I was predicting your son would be gay from the time he was 18 months old. Ain't got nothin' to do with the soy.


The sad thing is she's a bit of a fundamentalist, and this will probably seriously harm her relationship with him when he is older. Not really my problem, though.

Descending in the elevator -with strangers- at the airport tonight:

Hector (quietly): that sort of tickles!
Thor (loudly) yeah, it tickles my wiener too!

::Hector dies of embarrasment::

I'm trying to figure what you could see in an 18 month old that would tell you he's inclined to be gay. I've got nothin'.

So what was it?

He would walk around with his hands on his hips, except with his thumbs turned outward and the hands rotated around towards his kidneys. His favorite toys were his sister's Barbie dolls, and his favorite game was to dress up in her dresses (never other dressup clothes, just her dresses.) He shrieked in the presence of anything even moderately loud or aggressive, and was scared to play on most playground equipment.

All very silly and stereotypical of course, and at the time my prediction was a joke. But he has done nothing but reinforce the stereotypes in the years since. (And just to make sure it's clear, I have no problem with his personality, whatever it may or may not indicate. It's who he is. But stereotypes do exist for a reason...)

I know kids like that, and my friend too. the ones I know aren't adults yet, but she says the kid she knew was a screaming queen from age 2 and is now just the same ages 30ish.

It was around 93 degrees at the hottest point of the day today, and when my neighbor asked my 8 year old where her jacket was before school today, she rolls her eyes and says"it's going to be hotter than hell today!" :blush:

Princess OtR was playing a Life Saver Candy game where you match the halves to make a whole - When she got stuck and asked for help she said, "Thanks mommy. You're a Life Saver." Pretty punny for five I think.

Aden goes to school with a kid called Adam Stiff, and today they had to write their last name before the first, so it came out STIFF, Adam.

So Aden was telling me this and then said, "If my last name was Stiff, I'd hate my first name to be Richard".

How old is he? That's funny!

He's 12. Almost 13. First year of high school.

Everything is about the penis now...and I suppose it will be for the rest of his life. :rolleyes:

I knew a guy called Mark Stretch. Of course, on the library computer system, it's family name first. :lol: true story.

Princess OTR (age 5) did a drawing of me, her, hearts, rainbows, flowers, etc. In one margin there's an NESW - I asked why: "That's a compass mommy, cuz I live you in all directions."

WIN.

That was last night. This morning on the way to school, "You and my daddy should just kiss and get it over with." (Divorced for three years.)

I thought at first she wrote NSFW in the margin. :lol:

heheheee

3 year old niece, after coming downstairs from the bathroom and being asked "did you wash your hands?"

"I used the appetizer up there."

Her daddy's vocab is definitely NSFW, but luckily the only time I've seen that come to fruition SO FAR was when we were behind a slow car, and she proceeded to blurt out "Go, Bitch!" at age two.

cutest word ever: my 1yo son says "guggle" for snuggle

What is a Harligula?
 

My 2yo daughter was telling me about Harligula.

Harligula makes you fall down and hurt your head.

Harligula makes everybody feel bad.

What is Harligula? Harligula is animals.

What is Harligula? Harligula makes everybody bad.

Harligula doesn't have a stripe (we were just drawing pictures to differentiate between horses and zebras).

She didn't accidentally find your DVD of Caligula did she?

I don't own Caligula and have no recollection or reason for it ever to have been discussed. I thought about that. First thing I thought of.

From a syllables-from-a-toddlers-mouth perspective, I'd guess "alligator."

That's good, but she can say alligator.

Reminds me of when my son was 2 and he was raving about something one day calling it "back yard against." It took me forever to figure out he was not talking about a creature in our backyard, but a TV show called "Backyardigans." I didn't have cable at the time, so I didn't know about it. Anyway, what a stupid name for a show. He loved it, though.

this thread is the 1st result when you google harligula

could it be argument?

All 5 of my little 2nd cousins were at the Memorial Day cookout today. The only girl outta all of 'em, she's 6, was a hoot. Tells my sister "Bayley wants to date you." (Bayley is the 7yr old one)
Talking to me, "Does Buddy eat werewolves?," "Buddy is bigger than a werewolf." "[Werewolves] try to get Tinkerbell to have babies."
She is very informative, I did not know all these things about my black lab Buddy.

"I don't like Saint Bernard houses."
"Where do you see a St.Bernard house?"
"Over there." (Points to woods as we drive along.)
"What makes them 'Saint Bernard' houses?"
"Because they look like apple trees."

lol ... I understand that convo, totally, not ... what a creative time in the human brain development

My 10-year-old stepdaughter was apparently planning on giving this to her math teacher. Fortunately she forgot and had it in her bag instead, so we saw it first. :lol:




......................................................................Why I don't have my homewerk
.......................................................................................................right now in
........................................................................................................this room

First of all, I did finish my homework, so please stop saying I didn't! Second of all, I tried to find it and I looked all over my house and my mom's car! When I finally figured out where it was, it was to late, becaue the school was closed! This morning I went to the lost and found to look for my things, but I didn't find it, which ment that I wouldn't get my things until the end of the school day! I don't know if your actually going to read what I'm writing, but my point is that I did do my homework and I finished it at 2:50 and if I had it right now I wouldn't have missed any more than probobly five questions. I know I am good in math, and misplacing one homework asignment will not change my opinion on my skill! I'm obviously mad, but not because of the punishment. I'm upset because you gave me the consequence of being lazy and not doing my homework, when I did finish it, and I am sure I did good on. If you really want to make sure, I'll show you it today when I get my paper back from the YMCA after school care, if Ms. Tanya (the consulor) still has it. My mom already knows that I left my homework there, but if you still want the signiture, then fine. Once again, I don't care about the punishment, I care more about my grade then recess. Everything I wrote in this is true, I can do another worksheet if you're really mad and want me to. I'm not saying that I like homework, by the way.
.............................Signiture _________________

:notworthy:

I am completely in awe (and giggles) of that, Clod.

A friend of the family died a couple months ago, but I just heard this story. My brother and his wife took the girls to the visitation. Later, someone asked the 3 year old about it (gauging her curiosity, seeing if she had questions...that kind of thing.)

She shrugged and sighed and said "We got there and he was already dead."

There's no mistaking she's my niece. :rolleyes:

The girl, doing her best Philippe.

Me: Why do you like wearing your shoes so much?

Her: Because you're tall!

Me: You like to wear your shoes because it makes you taller?

Her: Yes!

Me: What's so good about being tall?

Her: EATING SAUSAGE!

OK, this has just made me laugh out loud at my kids and their mate.

For some reason they've decided to play 'shooting each other' games, and their collection of weapons is as follows.

Aden has a tennis racquet machine gun, a cat toy flail, and a recorder hand gun.

Mav is using an old broken fishing rod as a sniper rifle and their friend Mitch is using a stick they pulled out of the garden (probably one that was holding a plant up).

O. M. G. That brings back some memories.

It's because she was a bad mom and didn't buy them toys guns. My kids will shoot with anything too. One day Hector made a pistol from Lego that actually fired a brick :lol:

Thank god my kid isn't the only one with that kind of logic!

Impressive! Sign him up with the Defense Department!! When we invade Denmark we'll be able to forage native materials to build firearms on the fly.

When I was little, I used to watch movies that were not acceptable for children, one of my all time favorites was "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and I used to sing "Touch Me" all the time. My parents didn't really have a problem with it...but after years of watching/loving the movie, I suddenly wasn't allowed to watch it anymore because my stepdad was embarassed by me singing such an adult song in public.

I was 14 , when my one of my 4 years old cousins said to me..You get spanked below, I saw your mother spanked you. Did she often do it, I think I was in the room, otherwise she should have spanked you naked. I was like what..haah. This little boy..

And Princess likes "I Can Make You a Man." She's five.

I have one that's more me embarrassing my son than him saying something funny.
He comes out of the kitchen with a handful of nuts and says "you know, I like nuts by themselves, but I don't like them mixed up in things"
and my husband and I just sat there giggling and snickering and he goes "ugh, you guys are supposed to be the mature ones".

HA - very funny!
and welcome to the cellar.

Excellent!

And welcome!

More from the mouth of the now 4 year old (birthday was Saturday):

4YO: Mommy can we watch (whatever it was) when we get home?

Mommy: Honey, they took that off, we can't watch it anymore (it was something free on HBO on Demand or something.)

4YO: Those terrorists, always taking the movies we want to watch.

(SonofV, musically)
"...dee dah dah, But you did, but you did,
And I thank you!"

(slightly aggravated)
Dad! You got that song stuck in my head!!!"

Hahahah! You're welcome, son! No problem.

a brief exchange between jinx and myself over gchat:

jinx: I really need to stop finding your toothpick/flosser things on my desk, kthxbai

jim: you can't prove it was me

jinx: I could kill you in your sleep and see if it stops happening

I Lolled. out loud.

:lol:

Has anyone else noticed the whole "jinx kills jim" theme?

I've noticed. I keep wondering when she's going to stop threatening and follow through. lol

Not that I really want lumberjim dead or anything. :)

shouldn't you be busy neglecting your child?

Shouldn't you be busy picking your teeth?

eta: I have never neglected my children.

A few days back Miss Dallas was, much against her will, helping Mrs. Dallas with the laundry. She thought it was absolutely hilarious that the Hanes boxer briefs I wear have pockets.

What she didn't realize was that the "Hanes" logo goes at the front left hip. Not in the center. What she thought was a "pocket" on the right side was really the y-front fly. :eek:

You know that kid schtick where they ask a really complicated question right as you're trying to put them to bed?

Tonight's question from my stepdaughter was, "Why isn't electricity affected by gravity?"

:yelsick:

So.... what'd you tell her???

Because Mommy and Daddy Fobble haven't paid the gravity bill.

Alternate answer: Well, it is, but because electricity is invisible you can't see it leaking out of the outlets and running down the walls and all over the floor. That's why you can scuff your good shoes on the carpet to collect up all the electricity that fell down there and then make a spark by touching someone's nose.

It's never too early to start screwing them up.

Mr. Fob told her that electricity wasn't a thing so much as a movement. He pushed her in the arm and said, "My arm is affected by gravity, your shoulder is affected by gravity... but that push you felt wasn't affected by gravity. Now go to bed."

I confirmed to Thor that he would be getting a new shirt and socks for his hockey team -with the pro team (Whalers) logo on it. He said "I'm frozen with delight" (in a non-sarcastic way). aaaawww.