catharsis, sadness, happiness, memories, reflection, ... it's connection, evidence of a lasting connection.

I only know you a tiny bit monster, but I like you, you're important to me. You're my friend; that's why I say it's ok, you're gonna be ok.

side note:
fuckin red robin dj, wtf man?

Yes it will.

:grouphug:

Being blindsided is the worst. But it’s OK to cry, you know?


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Im so sorry monster,I feel so bad for ya buddy :(

Shows you he's not really gone. You still feel him.

That.:yesnod:

oh this was good.... :D

Fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency and...

LOL!!!

It really was.

thanks for being there ....again... peeps :D

second anniversary today (technically yesterday). Friday 13th (I like Friday 13ths)

I still had the ashes in a box bothering me by their existence. The two oldest sprogs and I wanted nothing to do with them. It's just ash. Youngest decided he wasn't sure if he might want us to do something/it might be meaningful ash, so I hung on. Been hanging on a peg in the garage.

My plan if we had to do anything other than toss them in the trash was to dump them in "The Swamp" at the paintball field he used to play at most often called H3ll Surv1vors (where there is now a trail named after him). It's near Hell, MI.


Life has been especially rough recently. I met my friend as usual for our Friday morning workout and mentioned this elephant in the room and whined about how I was really not keen on even opening the box etc etc. and then I'd probably find it hard to get rid of the box.....

She suggested that Friday 13 in Hell might be the perfect solution and offered to do it for me. So I went home and asked youngest how he felt about it now and he said .... "just ash".

Paintball field is open weekends only in winter, so we drove there, snuck on via the campsite entrance and the deed is done. And I did it. At the last minute I big-brave-girled it. Not quite The Swamp -too hard to get to- but same body of water. And then I took the googly eyes off the box (that I had placed there the day i picked it up to make me feel better) and stuck them on one of the structures on the field.

closure of a sort.

i left the damn box there too. In a recycling can for similar plastics.

Boom.

I just needed to share this but am wary of being more public because I didn't tell the oldest two or his mom (because she is currently dealing with her daughter being hospitalized and daughter's husband being an absolute twat (as my sister put it). I figured they'd be cool and needed to act while the momentum was there. So I'm telling all y'all. It is a done deed. If they ever ask what happened to the stuff, I think they'll like the answer :D

I hope your brain feels like you've done something in some kind of way, even if it just shifts something from one kind of thing to a slightly different kind of thing, like shifting from one foot to another. Presumably, over time, if you shift things around enough, all the heavy stuff falls to the bottom, like a can of mixed nuts.

Maybe a little bit of closure, at least one less decision. I'm glad to hear you put on your big girl pants, I think you'd regret it later if you hadn't. You done good.:thumb:

The googly eyes made me cry. I'm glad this is something you were able to do, for yourself and your kids and everyone who knew him.

Sounds like you did just the right thing. Sometimes the best ideas just pop up like that. Good on yer, monster!


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