Now I KNOW I'm old...
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Ikr?
Fucking terrifying. |
I think he looks pretty good for almost 71.
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"I'm back."
Well played sir. |
My Grandad used to say you know you're getting old when policemen look like kids.
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Well, shit.
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know how I know you're old?
you take your shoes off an put slippers on when you come inside you have reading glasses in every room of the house You listen to ColdPlay |
I literally don't do any of those things. I must still be totally a teenager! sick.
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...or maybe I don't do them because I can't remember where I live and so never go inside? :/ :p
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You know how I know you're old?
You have a pill organizer You get excited when it's clean sheet night You don't care if someone is wrong on the internet. |
Oh shit, I'm ancient.
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Yeah - I relate to a frightening percentage of that list :P
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with exception of the Cold Play line, these are all based on my reality.
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Mr. Clod is getting LASIK tomorrow because he was already nearsighted when the reading glasses phase kicked in, and the progressive lenses gave him constant headaches even though he tried for six months to get used to them. So now he's correcting the nearsightedness so he can drop back down to just one type of glasses again.
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you know your old when the Play Boy center fold is young enough to be your kid , but your REALLL old when she could be your GRAND KID !!!!
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Zippyt! How ya been, brother?
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you know how I know you're old?
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Heh. The question that separates the men from the boys, is... how many gray pubic hairs is too many?
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Zippyt! How ya been, brother?
Good , Busy , i still lurk in the shadows |
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I do keep all 7 bottles of pills in a plastic shoebox on top of the bread bin. Does that count as an organizer? :lol: (How I know I'm really old ... all the supplements are fucked-up-joints related (the bodily kind, no spiky leaves). Except the potassium for night cramps -which really fucking works, people) I do sleep better on clean sheets, but I don't get excited because that means I have to change the bed and wash sheets. Ah. The last one. A toughie. I have learned to be OK with people being wrong by following the advice I made up and gave to Thor (who has problems with people being wrong).... It's OK for people to be wrong and not know it, as long as their being wrong isn't putting anyone in immediate physical danger. |
You do understand that I'm not calling you old specifically? You, monster. I was talking about me. Lovely old me.
Amanda and I were riffing on the you know how I know you're gay bit from 40 yr old virgin. She turns 40 next month, so I've been ribbing her. |
It's OK Jim...
http://cellar.org/2017/enjoy.jpg And when it comes to the beautiful Amanda... http://cellar.org/2017/fire.jpg ;) |
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I'm sorry I made it about me if it upset you. I was just a little lonely and chatty, I guess :(
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You know you've got one foot in the grave when you can't even read the articles 'cause you only know how to write.
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Great articles though
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but are they real and do we care?
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Me - I have glasses (specs) in every room. I thought I was being clever, but it turns out I am just being old. I have a pill organiser but it is for Mr Limey who is on a regime of 8 in the morning and one at night. We'll need a bigger one for mornings at this rate ... Clean sheets ... mmmm .... someo else making the bed - even BETTER! |
If you do most of your reading while on the toilet.
I only see my wife's boobies when I help her with a bra. Sex is with a threesome, me, myself and I. I see a 50 yr old woman and think she is hot. A 20 yr old car is not that old. I forget what I am talking about mid sentence. Why just the |
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You know how I know we're old? We're apologizing to each other like a couple of Canadians. |
Cut off your hand to count the rings. To really know how old your are.
Doing it proves you are too old. |
Yer wearing yer rings wrong. Put 'em on yer fingers, and ya won't hafta cut yer hand off to count them.
Now ya know. And knowing is half the battle. |
Simply count the rings. How many times does the phone ring before you can get to it? More rings means one is getting older.
How to stay younger. Use a portable phone. Stay in bed and answer faster. Then do not feel so old. |
you know how I know you're old?
your balls touch the toilet water |
Try sitting on one of your balls. Like having a Thanksgiving dinner with 8 people at the table and you sit on your nuts. Ow.
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bad news: I have to do it my gdf self and it's already late and I still have to do lunches, trash and recycling. I still have 55 minutes before midnight, though! maybe..... |
you know you're old when you get carded for booze and then the cashier says "wow you look younger than that" (because I know I don't look very young....)
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Do you apologize to inanimate objects? |
Sorry, but that's not a nice way to describe lj
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^^^BAN IT^^^
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It speaks cuz I'm too old to read the fucking display.:lol2: ETA: Well, my eyes are too old to read the fucking display. I don't how I came to have these old eyes... |
Ya know how to know when you're old?
Ya start griping about how old ya are. |
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Maybe because I don't look young anymore?
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On the bright side. I'm now too old to have to worry about dying young.
So I got that going for me. |
... which is nice.
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Hiya Pete!
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Hey V. How’s things? |
Pete! We've missed you. Nice to see you around.
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Mr Zicato! What a pleasure!
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk |
Pete where have you been?
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Lessee - in 2011 I was hospitalized for a Crohn's blockage. Turned out I had a mass in my small intestine that they were concerned might be cancerous. So major surgery and it turned out to be a bezoar (no magical properties unfortunately) the size of a golf ball. It was a long recovery. Then the company I worked for was acquired by IBM which turns out to be not unlike being absorbed by the borg. And I made the decision to change course. The market for windows programmers had disappeared so I taught myself iOS programming. Most of the iOS jobs are at startups so instead of working a measly 35 hours a week, I've been working 45+ hours - and driving a longer commute. In the mean time, the Zings have graduated high school and college. Both are working and now both are engaged. Life moves fast. |
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Wow. WB, as they say. Hope you can stick around now? Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk |
I hope to pop in more. But my schedule reminds me of that line from Lethal Weapon.
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They screw you at the drive through?
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I still say Pete's a Taco. Not out loud. just in my mind.
Hey dar512! Hope you're enjoying it as best you can. |
mmm delicious pizza taco
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