Q&A
 

Ok heres the deal.

give a yes or no answer to the previous question (only yes or no, no "well kinda but it didnt go all the way in" crap, you either did it or you didnt) then leave a question of your own. it may be a normal question or something gross and disgusting (prefered).
ill start the questions rolling

eg. no

have you ever caught someone spying on you naked?

no

have you ever caught someone naked spying on you?

no

I dont care if anybody sees me nood.

has anyone snuck up on you while you were shitting?

No.

Ever had your ass pinched?

Yes


Have you ever taken a shit outside, on the ground?

Yes

Have you ever talked on the phone while at the same time having sex?

Yes
have you ever had sex while posting on the Cellar?

NO

have you ever posted naked whilst shitting?

No.

Have you ever claimed you were selling really good shit when it was actually just crap?

Yes.

Have you ever bought just crap, after you were promised it was really good shit?

yes!



are you the one that sold it to me?!

YES

are you the one that still owes me money??

Maybe.

Did you sell me one of those lemons, too?

Bzzzzztttt!!! I'm sorry, Yes or No are the only acceptable answers. -5 points.

Do you want your five points back?

NO

Have you ever had a job that would have given you the chance to pull off a really nice crime - say at least $100,000 or so, be over the border in Mexico before anyone ever noticed it, and day dreamed about how you'd pull it off for your next 3 work shifts?

yeppers , but it required a heavy lift helecopter

have you ever taken a leak in a public place , like in a crowd ??

Yes, but I was 1. Have you ever been pissed on by someone in a crowd?

no

Have you ever jumped down an elevator shaft ??

no

Have you ever jumped in an elevator right as it stops to feel like you are falling?

Yes, in the Hancock Building.

Have you ever jumped someone else's shit?

Yes.

Have you ever been nice to someone but then later wished you had taken their head clean off when you had the chance?

yes have you ever punched someone in the face?

No.

Have you ever moved a very drunk person while they were asleep, so they'd freak when they woke up?

no
(it has happened to me though and I did freak out!)

have you ever had a dream in which you fought and made up with a person you have issues with in real life, and upon waking realised you no longer felt any animosity towards them?

NO

Have you ever been awakened by your partner trying to strangle you in his/her sleep?

NO (I tend to sleep with relatively sane people)

Have you ever woke up in a different room than where you fell asleep and wondered how the heck you got there?

yes (passed out at a beach, woke up in my bed...long story)

have you ever been so drunk you had tunnel vision and couldnt stop touching a girls arse?

No. (being a girl of course)

have you ever had sex while driving a car?

No (not while I was doing the driving, anyway)

Have you ever squeezed something out of your body and then smelled it?

yes every morning


have you ever wondered (or know) which cellarite is the dirtyest in bed?

no

Have you ever cleaned out someone else's ears for them?

Yes

Have you ever thrown up on someone?

NO (I tried but they dodged)

Have you ever been french kissed by a dog?

yes (or at least she kissed like a dog lapping peanut butter)

have you ever broken the law purely for the thrill of breaking the law?

Yes

Have you ever been arrested?

no.
because in mexico the cops are so crooked they just make you pay a hefty fine.

did you just touch my ass?

no

did you want me to?

NO

Did you ever run away from home when you were a kid?

No.

Ever get caught breaking into your old elementary school to snoop around and steal chalk after it was permanently closed? (I know, I'm such a rebel...)

No.

Did you ever have sex on the sink in the men's bathroom at SuperSubway?*

*or, similar sandwich shop

no

did you ever pick your nose and eat it?

No

Did you ever get caught jerking off in a closet?

You never picked your nose and ate it? I challenge.

Not that I recall, counsellor. I understand that I am under oath.

Let's rephrase the question.

Do you know what boogers taste like? If you ever picked your nose and ate it, I submit that you will remember the taste. (I do, and it's been well over 30 years.)

What else do you not remember from age 5 to age 12?

no, but my dad knocked on the bathroom door and told me to "stop playing with yourself" when I was like 13.

When someone wants to change lanes in front of you, do you ever just let them in without cussing under your breath?

Yes, frequently, unless they're pushy about it.



Have you ever rear-ended someone, causing them to stop and get out of their car, called them nasty names, and threatened to run them over because they cut you off?

BZZZZZZT! Two replies made at the identical same time! Prosecution will please rephrase question!

(I refer to Undertoad and Mr. Noodle - Jinx stole a march on me as I was originally posting this response)

No.

Have you ever anonymously helped someone in some way, so that they might not even know they are being helped? (Like putting a coin in an expired meter for a stranger when a parking cop is coming?)

Yes.

Have you ever seen a cervix first hand and closeup?

Yes.

Have you ever tried anal sex?

ooooh Yes!!!

Have you ever wanted to be a Prostitute?:redface:

Mr. Boogey-eater,
Other than bringing up some post-nasal drip, or schnocking back a full nose when there's no tissue available, and hacking a loogey, I have not tasted mucous. I will go further and state, for the record, I am skeeved by snot and snot-like substances, almost to the point of phobia. I am paranoid that I have boogers hanging out of my nose and people are laughing at them - that's why I pick. But I do not eat. I have not, do not, and will not voluntarily eat boogeys. When you ate yours, did you chew it up? Yum-yum?

So... what's the next question, fargon?

no. i just kinda fell into it.


have you ever received anal sex?

NO

Isn't that a repeat Question? :eyebrow:

no
*the other one being have you ever tried it, which could have been both giving and receiving*

do i look fat in this?

Yes.

Have you ever met someone in real life, that you first met online?

no

Ever run half a mile in the hot sun trying to get to a toilet and crap yourself sitting down?