Please insult me
 

I am wrong and deeply flawed to my core. Please insult me, and attempt to hurt me. Hold nothing back, and be as personal as you can possibly be about it. Humiliate me if possible. Say that one thing you wanted to say about me but never did. Attempt to find my worst flaw.

You're icky? ;)

You're too intelligent for your own good. That makes you a cunt, doesn't it? Or are you a cunt only if you disagree with me? I can never keep these things straight.

I'm pretty sure you have a speech impediment.

It's if you are too clever by half, AND you disagree with me. One or the other just makes you a dick.

I've tried and tried to think but i can't come up with anything that might hurt you. You're better than me.

Things get caught in your beard and moustache.
I hate the idea you kissed female rellies with that facial hair, especially Kat.

You have the spinach of life stuck in your teeth.

You did not punctuate properly in the title for this thread.

No.

Not until you say pretty please.

{{confused}}
Still not sure if this is a joke or if something happened...

I think that if he is "trying" to be insulted and that's his wish the best thing to do is to push his butttons is to love him all the more. Undertoad your a beautiful creation of God and I hope he blesses you to the point where you no longer feel the need to be insulted. Your Amazingly smart and intelligent.

Thank you all! And more please!

That one eyebrow hair just pisses me off. It's standing up all defiant like it owns the damn place.

You're a Politics thread dropout! Oh wait ... that may demonstrate superior intellect. Dang, I thought I had a good one there for a moment.

You have pudgy hands, and they smell of cabbage.

You're retarded Tony...that's about all I got there.

[British accent]Bloody well bugger off, you sodding wanker![/British accent]

A disappointment to your country, your mother and your dog.

OK Undertoad, the gloves are off, no more fooling around. :eyebrow:

You asked for it, you got it. :rar:

Better be sitting down and maybe have someone standing by just in case this is too much for you to handle. :bawling:

Here it comes, are you reeeeeeeeeadyyyyyyyyyyyyy? :mg:

Your political views lean somewhat further to the right than you are able to consistently defend.

ooof.

Not a bad Brit accent there, old boy. Need to cut off the words 'bugger' and 'wanker' a bit. You Americans always pronounce your 'rrrrrrrs' more than us. We pretty much slip em by unnoticed.

Fucking awesome. I'm gonna remember that and find an oportunity to use it in my life.

Now I'm feelin' it! Do worse!

It pains me to say it Toad, but everybody knows you throw like a girl.

It's a long slide into ignominy when you peak in your twenties.

You. Play. The. Bass. The bass, man, the BASS. For all that is good in this eternity, give up the bass, and play the trout!

Ah, good stuff you guys!

Before the great Graham Chapman died, he went on a college tour and a friend of mine saw his show. Said the first thing he did was to request that the audience insult him, nothing but insults, for the first five minutes. And people were coming up to him and shouting horrible things right to his face.

But then he probably had the problem with audiences loving and glorifying him too much. He was Brian and ironically the college audiences probably treated him like a religious figure. It probably changed the dynamic of the show, to the point where he could just talk to people and take questions.

Tony, you are not Brian... you are a very naughty boy.

so, what... you're about to make a speech?

You think we want to sit here and listen to your malodorous gob drone on and on for an hour talking about how cool you used to be? Do us all a favor and don't.

pasty faced misfit peckerwood.


:stomps off:

Does a kick to the shin count as an insult?

I think that's a marriage proposal isn't it?

had enough, faggot?

You're a mean one, Mister Toad
You really are a heel,
You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mister Toad,

You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!



You're a monster, Mister Toad,
Your heart's an empty hole,
Your brain is full of spiders, you've got garlic in your soul, Mister Toad,

I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!



You're a vile one, Mister Toad,
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mister Toad,

Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the ... seasick crocodile!



You nauseate me, Mister Toad,
With a nauseous super "naus",
You're a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss, Mister Toad,

You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich, with arsenic sauce!



You're a foul one, Mister Toad,
You're a nasty wasty skunk,
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mister Toad,

The three words that describe you are as follows, and I quote, "Stink, Stank, Stunk!"



You're a rotter, Mister Toad,
You're the king of sinful sots,
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mister Toad,

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots!

You Cat faced Bastige !!!

Undertadpole is what the ladies say. Just sayin'

You're such a girl UT.

Surely that should be in the compliments thread? ;)


Sent by thought transference

Tony, Tony, grey and moany
Got as much taste as a stale calzone
When it comes to music he's a big old phoney
And nowhere near as smooth as mascarpone

DOMFCOTL,ISN.

But thanks anyway.

You're waffly. There, I've said it.

Yehbut...waffly versatile.

I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing, you tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!

I'd like to, UT, I really would, but I just don't have the time ....

What a fun·gi, Undertoad is so full of himself he shits toadstools.

He is a toad's stool.

plus, his ass is cockprone

That's what I hear. "That Undertoad," they say, "that Undertoad, cockprone ass, he has"

funniest thing I've heard all week

difference between oral sex and anal?

Oral can make your day

Anal can make your hole weak

You, sir, are a bass player.

You're ugly, and your mother dresses you funny.

You wish you were the bastard child of John R Sellers and Ibby, married to Merc and JBK was your firstborn.

What?

Goddamn, that's going too far.

Yeah, should be marked NSFW or put in the tasteless humor thread. Think she kisses her mother with those fingers?

Big D sang about you last night fancy boy.

Your turtle farts in your general direction.:p:

You're tooooo nice.

Ouch ! Sky, you too have gone too far... ;)