how long should I give...
 

my cats to acclimate to my new 11 month old dog/puppy who is MUCH bigger than my other dog and wants to chase and play but the cats do not.'


I''ve had him 11 days. The cats are still in hiding in the basement. he's hating his cage - won't go in and then when I bribe him in with a treat to go in he howls to get out.

My sister (who spent 200.00 on him for me) says I should give it more time. How much time do you other dog/cat owners think?

More time. It can take a few. Months. 11 days us nothing In the grand scheme

A lot of more time. They'll get used to each other. Even just getting another CAT...the previous cat(s) would hide under the bed for a few days.

Cats and dogs will find a way to deal with it.

Yes, lots more time. The most helpful thing you can do is try to keep calm so the animals pick up on a calm vibe, rather than an anxious one.
Easy for me to say, I know ... ;)

Yeah, you don't want to pull a Busy Bee. :)

(trying for some levity, if you haven't seen Best in Show!) Plus Parker Posey is awesome! :lol:

What are your options? Give one or the other away/back?

I'm not there, I can't see how they interact, but I've had lots of dogs and cats, together... they work it out. I make sure the dog gets consistent feedback that *I* am the top dog, that gets understood and respected. The dog might not understand *why* I say NO, but he stops xyz behavior anyhow. EVENTUALLY. Seriously, it can take a very long time to train a dog for a given behavior. I just don't consider any alternative. Actually, if I can't train it away, then I have to decide to live with it. MY choice though.

11 days is nothing for the dogs and cats in my opinion. It sure can seem like a long time in your book, but they're working it out. BD's rottweiler puppy turned into a rottweiler pony but he's still highly triggered by the darting, unhappy, skittish cats, who have seniority. They have ways to manage like hiding, coming to me/SonofV for protection, etc. And Tucker Mojo is getting better and simply watching alertly when the cats come into view instead of going into shock and awe play mode. It takes time and consistent leadership.

Mostly time. And consistency. Good luck.

A dog that's had to be rehomed takes a little while to feel truly settled. Not feeling completely confident in their environment can come out in all sorts of ways.

A dog of 11 months is still growing up. He's an adolescent, whose social development has been interrupted by the rehoming process. So, you have all the normal exuberance and behavioural issues that come with an adolescent dog, and also the problems that come with settling a dog into a new home.

Personally, I'm with V. If I take on a dog that's that. Any problems I can't counter, I have to live with. The dog got no choice in any of my decisions to take him on. All the choice lay with me, all the agency lay with me. He has no choice but to live with those decisions.

It takes time chika. You know it does. You cannot take on a 11 month old rehome dog and expect everything to slot easily into place just like that. 11 days is nothing. You are building a relationship that will last for years and in a few years time when you look back, this stuff will feel like a tiny droplet in an ocean of time.

Even without the rehoming issue, an 11 month old dog is a bucket load of work and fraught with problems and hurdles. Even if you have had the dog from 8 weeks old, as I had Carrot, adolescence is tough going. I am still working thgrough all sorts of odd behaviours and problems with Carrot and he's 13 months old. Granted a lot of that is due to him having been in pain all his little life, but a lot of it is just normal adolescent boundary pushing.

Give it time. Keep calm and be consistent in your messages. Make sure your cats have somewhere to go where he can't follow them. And depending how things go, engineer some supervised contact between them.

If after a couple of months things haven't sorted themselves out then consult a behaviourist or seek guidance from forums dedicated to pets (I can send you some links).

You owe it to this dog to give him the best chance of fitting into your family that you can. It is likely already too late to take him back and it not be a damaging wrench for him. So you might as well try to do him some good. Then if you do end up having to rehome him, try and rehome him yourself through word of mouth or with the help of a rehoming charity that goes through a proper checking and match making process with get to know the dog visits, home checks and a cooling off period.

i will. keep him, I mean.

just the blues combined with other, deeper blues.

I won't traumatize him by trying to re-home him or return him --- I take your points seriously, Dana.

It's the weather, the lack of purpose, the loneliness, my therapists reaction to my writings....all of it. It's so hard to be positive throughout and believe there is purpose. Even with my CBT all these YEARS I can funk out pretty damn quickly.

My therapist was unhappy b/c I wasn't putting a cheerful "the Angels are Helping Me" spin on things. This is no life. This is just waiting.

You know those damn magazines are years old, in the waiting room.
So you have to find something to amuse yourself while you're waiting. How about training all the critters in the house to do a little circus act.

I have one. It's called bark, chase, run and hide and feel resentful that my owner is a dumbass who brought chaos into our home.

That's cool, just have them do it with funny hats.;)

At the risk of speaking out of turn, your therapist sounds like a dick.


I hear ya hon. Not an easy time.

My therapist called me just a few moments ago in response to an email I sent her.

she said my writing had made her 'sad' and that was all.

she is also really encouraging me to give Scout back.


UGH.

Isn't sad good? I mean...isn't it good that a poem evokes strong emotion?

Why does she think you should give scout back?

She's a very, very UNsad person and as a CBT doesn't believe sadness for any real length of time serves the Higher Purpose. that Autumn is a-waiting me on Rainbow Bridge (google it===the poem). She gave me a copy of it. She believes in Thinking Positively----that + attracts + and that if Scout isn't making me happy I should - delete him from my life until I meet a dog who DOES connect with me.

I would not get along with your therapist.

I could bore you with any number of aphorisms, anecdotes, proverbs, etc that all illustrate the value of sadness, the inescapable necessity of that completely human condition, but I won't. If she's helping you, more power to her and to you. But good can come from extended struggle, even painful, sad struggle. I wish you strength, and if strength leads to and end of sadness, then good.

Great... advice from someone that doesn't even comprehend how normal people think. :rolleyes:

thanks! True, I don't comprehend normal people, but I did sleep in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

:wink:


"Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly."
--Morticia Addams

Not you dummy, the therapist. Miss happyfuckingface.

I'm going to repeat my earlier assertion: she sounds like a dick.

Sadness serves a purpose as does any emotion. It is appropriate to feel sad sometimes.

Rainbow Bridge: I know the poem well. On the beardie site I went to after losing Pilau they all believe in the Bridge. I sort of play with the notion myself, it's a pleasant thought. Don't believe it in any real sense, but it's a lovely notion to imagine all the dogs there running free together :p

She also sounds like she doesn't know a fucking thing about dogs though. Connection isn't instant. This isn't like looking for a husband and wanting The One' with whom you instantly connect. They're animals (dogs, not husbands...:p) the connection is something you build. It's something you craft across time as you win the animal's respect and most likely adoration.

Take him back and get one who connects with you? Jesus fucking christ.

Also: has she considered the potential negative impact of feeling guilty if you do take him back? With the best will in the world, there's no way of diong it and not feeling a complete shit. I speak from experience on this - the only dog I ever let go: Sara, a stray J and I took in when we were simply not capable of caring for it. Dragged her about as we moved from rented room to rented flat and then another move and then, as we had thoroughly failed at being grownups and had to move bakc into our parents houses temporarily, she had to go to the shelter.

Truth be told she stood a better chance right then at the shelter than she did with us, we were on a total downward spiral (this was whne we were about 19).

Even though I knew we couldn't care for her properly, and hadn't connected in the way I have with other dogs since, I felt awful. I still feel guilty about that dog, even all these years later. Because actually, we should have left her where she was. She was doing ok. She had a number of people in the area who fed her and she curled up in whatever shed she could get into at night. We took her off the streets and after a brief spell of not being walked enough, fed the wrong foods and alternately fussed over and shouted at for a few months dropped her off to doggy prison to take her chances.

Sorry...that turned into a trip down memory lane...

Yeah, I was offered a cat the other day. She sounded great but I also know what a dingbat the person offering is. So if this cat turns out to be a pooper/puker/scratcher/snarler I'm stuck...because i cannot, cannot give a pet away once I've decided to take them. So I turned it down. I have to be SURE.

A dog ain't no damn man. Find one who connects with you? Is there like a match.com for that? "You must DEMAND what you are looking for in a man...er, um, I mean dog."

Is she a manhater? Methinks she doth project too much.

@xoB-- I know ":wink:", eh?

@Trilby--

y'know, a moment of levity, hm?

You remember my local hero, Macklemore, right? Here's a funny parody you might get a grin from.

Good luck with the levity.

Woof!! (translation: Thanks!)

Once the cats realize that he is there to stay, they will come around. Might give him a few hisses and taps on the nose... but they will work it out. :)

We opened the bedroom door yesterday, and Chloe is taking it better than I thought she would. She has been here a month, and she still hisses at Bootsie just not as much. We had some growling last nite, but only once, it's un nerving to hear that underneath you.