Weird things that happen to you at work...
 

So I work at a bank...and i'm on the teller line. This old man just belched in my face. A raunchy nasty belch and didn't even say excuse me. Gross!

What weird things happen to you guys while you are at work?

Yeah, and the old guys with the really bad body odor are the worst.

I am constantly being called upon to utilize my 35 year old Spanish language skills, which must sound to our Hispanic employees as though I am mentally and verbally handicapped.

Ok well this one time, at band camp....

LOL ok seriously though, um...there is this guy who is sort of infamous here, his name, or at least what we call him is Crazy Mike, and nearly everyone from here knows him, he wears huge headphones and rides around town on his moped and is, well, crazy. Anyways, one time he came to my place of employment for no reason at all other than to say that he grew up with my company's president, and that he used to pee his pants all the time as a boy! True story right there

I worked as a nurse in a steel mill (AK Steel in Middletown, OH. They are now locked out by the company).

I encountered many a strange, 'raised by wolves', kind of counter-culture there.

A guy named Stinky Ray came up to the medical office window once and, literally, coughed RIGHT IN MY FACE (a thing that hadn't happened since my stint in pediatrics.) (plus, Stinky Ray was soooo stinky that we did Rock/Paper/Scissors to see who had to take care of him. I lost.)

We examined him and he had a really, really bad URI (and, rotted teeth.) We took a chest X-ray and sent it to a radiologist group to be read. Report of x-ray came back and turns out, ol' Stinky Ray, who coughed right in my face, had TB!

I've another story 'bout a dude who had a colostomy and was forced to come to medical because he refused to take care of it. Lord, lord. I miss that place. :)

Crazy Mike aka sex symbol super star!!! Good Stuff!

One of my fav's goes back to the days when I had a job with the AAA. I prepared maps and trip tiks for AAA members. One day a highly agitated woman came in and wanted to know how to dive through Colorado without going over any mountains. I stared at her, but she was insistent. What the hell was this person doing in Colorado if they didn't like mountains? Still, she was the customer, so I prepared a trip tik for her routing her all the way down to I-40, about 8 hours out of her way. I then put her on the old route 666 to get her into Utah. It was July and that was the hottest, most god forsaken route possible. She'd have been happier staying home in Kansas. Working with the general public never fails to restore my faith in the general stupidity of man kind. :eyebrow:

I don't get this so much now, but at my last job, which was at a college, I received the mail that was sent to webmaster@college.edu. It was unbelievable some of the stuff that people sent in. One expressed his excitement about a potential football scholarship. (Unlikely, since we didn't have a football team.) One went on about how badly he wanted to come to study ..... at a different college. One wanted to know if her application should be typed, and if so, how she would go about doing that. And there was more than one on the theme of "Hi, I want my little Susie who's in 6th grade to come to your school. I'm going to send her to one of these three elitist snotty prep schools, and I just wanted to check which one of them would give her the greatest chance of being admitted."

Being a lifeguard lets me see experience some interesting things.. such as 15 year old kid taking a crap in the middle of the bathroom.. as I walked in. He stood up, grabbed some toilet paper and wiped then tried to just walk out right past me.

25 years ago, as a retail salesman, I discovered a group of guys changing price stickers on 10 boxes of vinyl tile from $45/box to $12/box. No UPC readers back then. I asked them if they needed help and one guy diverted me with questions somewhere else and the other guys took off with the shopping cart. Soon, I told the guy, "Oh, they just paged me on the loudspeaker. I gotta go.".

I told the store manager and he told me to just stand visible at the cash register and the guy will probably just give up. In about 10 minutes, the guys walk out the front door empty handed and I found the goods in another department.

I worked at that home improvement store for 4 years and saw some real idiots. Most customers were good and just wanted good advice about stuff they didn't do very often.

Heh.. reminds me of one of my dad's. At about the same time, early 1980s, he used to moonlight part-time around Christmas at Brendle's, a local western North Carolina chain similar to Best or Service Merchandise. They usually put him in the electronics department. One night he & another guy found a doll house. On further investigation the best they could figure was that somebody had loaded up the dollhouse box with smallish, relatively expensive electronic gizmos and paid for the dollhouse ($50 or something like that), and walked out the door with the lot.

Many many years later, I bought a Black & Decker drill at Rickel. When I got it home and opened it, the box contained an ancient, rusted Craftsman drill. Obviously somebody had made a little swap. I took it back to the Rickel and they gave me my money back, but the manager said he had never seen anything like that and came close to suggesting (but didn't actually) that it was possibly me who had done the switcheroo. When I told my dad about it later, he said the manager either just started that day or was bullshitting me because that kind of stuff happened all the time.

Wow. The store that I worked at was in fact Rickel.

As for the switch, I could see a number of asshats that used to work there doing just that. You're did was right.

One sleazy P/T guy in my dept setup one of his friends to do a scam merchandise return which he approved. He set it up in a time window when he was the only one working in our dept. He got caught because the dept manager next to us was helping us out while we we short staffed and happened to know the products involved and happened to arrive at the return counter when this scam was ending.

The P/T asshat was prosecuted and settled out of court. A few month's later he was arrested for breaking into one of our friend's house when he knew they would not be home and he tried to steal big electronics. He got caught because neighbors called the police. I lost track of the asshat at that point.

I remember this guy particularly because regular drugs weren't good enough for him anymore. He used to huff gasoline. I'm sure this guy died before the advent of crystal meth, he would have be the prime candidate for that stuff.

Rickel didn't always employee the world's best citizens.

"Rickel helps you do it better, do it better with Rickel!"

One time these cute girls wanted to buy carpeting by the linear foot for their dorm room. They wanted it installed, cut to the dimensions of the room and double-taped down. I told them that the store didn't do that, but I could do it on the side for twenty bucks. Plus, I would charge them for half the material on the order, and cut it myself twice the length. They agreed. God what I would try to do to get laid in those days.

Well, I sold them the carpeting for half price and installed it for them. But, I just got the $20. Geez, I never got laid in those days. Well, I was 20 yo and looked 14.

You guys have it so totally easy.

I've been spit on, pissed at, exposed to a variety of parasites and infections, hit, kicked, and had to smell things to which humans should not be exposed. That was just within the last week.

And I've had my hand broken.

Yeah, but you've got the shitjob/nuthouse thread for that Wolf! We're just talking about wierd here ...
I work in a shop selling obviously factory made sweaters, shirts, trousers, kids' clothes, obviously factory made leather goods, sheepskin rugs, and some craft-y items including a visible stock of around 100 handknit sweaters. The shop is located literally in the middle of nowhere on an island with a population of 4,500. I am amazed at the number of times I've been asked "So .... do you make all this yourself?". HUH?

i worked in a porno shop for a while in college. some of the weird things i saw there, you wouldn't want to hear about.......

I used to work for a Borders in Pennsylvania. We had a share of people there that were quite insane. One guy, we called him Barking Guy, I'm fairly certain was schizophrenic. He earned his name because one of the first times he was in the store, he stood less than a foot from some huge body builder and started barking at him.

Another time, this guy was wandering around the store, pointing at random customers and mutters things like, "Robert Kennedy... you asshole".. he pointed at my supervisor, Neil, and said, "Rush Limbaugh.. you're a bastard"

And yet another time, he was in line behind another employee at the cafe. He taps the employee on the shoulder, and the employee turns to see what's up. Then the barking guy leans down (He was fairly tall) and screams, "FUCK YOU" .. then acts like nothing happened.

My current job doesn't give me much in the way of 'strange' so much as 'omg you're stupid.' Like the guy that thought his home printer had a problem because the file he tried to print at work came out garbled.

A one or two-time customer of ours came in to the store one afternoon, Stoned Out Of His Gourd, and after a little gibberish, proclaimed that he was really hungry. He said that I should give him a dollar, because he wanted purchase a hotdog from the cart across the street.

Now, we get the occasional street person coming in and asking for money, but this one threw me for a loop...not just because I'd never seen him blotto before, but also here was a guy who I thought would come in and start shopping, and instead he quite firmly requests hotdog money! It was a little bizarre, and in the moment, slightly frightening. I decided to follow my instincts and replied, man, I have no money for you.

Well, geez, his shoulders just dropped, and his puffy eyes welled up with tears ("But I'm really hungry!"). For chrissakes. Then it dawned on me that one can say things to stoned people that don't make sense, and they may believe you, and also that the hotdog cart vendor was a big guy who could probably handle this weirdo more efficiently than I. So I suggested to UltraStoned Man that maybe the vendor would give him a FREE hotdog. It worked, thank god--he perked up and said Yeah, free hotdog! and wandered out the door. Never saw him again.

This isn't weird per se, but...for a long time, I've hoped to get laid at my workplace. It hasn't happened yet, but it could happen this time around, depending on a few circumstances. We'll see...

I've been fucked over by my employer, but never laid by one.

Wouldn't the lovely Miss April be somewhat distressed by this goal of yours?

Why? She'd most likely be a willing participant. ;)

What, doing her and your boss at the same time? I didn't think you liked your boss that much.

That's not what I meant! I meant that April would come to my workplace and I would get laid depending on the circumstances.

It would be a fun way to get fired, but I think it might negatively impact your future hireability and earnings, even with the MBA.

Check your employee handbook before proceeding. It might not be specifically prohibited.

I used to work at "Ramsey Outdoor". The Paramus store was in "The Sopranos". I was in the Ramsey store.

One day, two guys drive up in a Jeep, walk to the canoes, pick one up, and walk out. As they passed the cashier, they held up a pink piece of paper, announced that they that the purchace order, and to have a good day. The next day, the manager wanted to know where the hell the canoe was. Turns out that all these guys had was a piece of pink constuction paper. And we laffed, and laffed, and laffed. And the cashier applied for unemployment...

weird shit , well ,,,,,

Once I saw a box break open and various body parts fell to the floor ,
Once I was crawling around in what I thought was mud , later I found out there was a broken sewer mail neer by ,
More than once I have been drawn down on ( with a fire arm ) ,
Once I had to have Sherif Deputies with me to do my job ,

Shall I continue ????

there's this dude that argues and yells at the crosswalk lights here in downtown houston. very strange. the dude is always dressed well so i don't think he's a bum. funny as shit, though. when the X-walk light is white he either preaches to it, shouting of course, or screams about the gubmint. guess it depends on what kind of mood he's in that day. funny thing is that when the walk light changes to don't walk (red) he stops yelling at it! everyone that works downtown and spends anytime outside knows of him. depending on what day of the week it is dictates what street he's on. yesterday was Travis street day. Monday will be Louisiana steet day. dude is a beer or two short of a six pack.

Twenty-five years ago, I had a relationship with a coworker. She taught me a lot in the back room.;)

I've been fitting glasses right across a desk from more than one old gal that let one fly...and they don't even miss a beat.:nuts: Recently we had the waiting room chairs steam cleaned because they smelled of urine.:eyebrow:

I worked in a family pizzeria for several years as a second job. Some of the customers there would amaze you!.

Anyway, there was one lady that would come in the instant we opened (10:30 am). She was always attired in fairly decent clothing, but messy and dirty. She wanted to buy two slices of pizza and would question me as to whether they were freshly made or leftovers from the day before. I'd reassure her that we never served anything from the day before and all our pizza's were just made. She'd hand over her money ($3.14 worth) and it was always filthy, mangled change that had obviously been salvaged off the ground. Then she'd disappear into the ladies room and take a bath. Literally. 15 minutes later she would reappear, damp and shiny, and take her pizza. We'd then have to go mop up the restroom.

Another lady in her mid-30's would come in to eat once in a while in the mid-afternoon. Luckily, that was when there were few or no customers about. She was a bit overweight and always dressed as a streetwalker might...short shorts with her butt cheeks showing, see thru blouses with no bra, rolls of fat showing around the edges of her too tight clothing. She would order an entire pizza and a pitcher of coke and sit at a booth near the back of the restaurant. Now this is where things got weird. She would talk out loud to herself, as though she were having a conversation with an invisible person. Sometimes these conversations were mumbled and sometimes they were vehement. She would toss her long hair over her shoulder in a flirtatious manner and she constantly squirmed around on the bench. It appeared at times as though she was playing with herself, but none of us wanted to get close enough to verify that for sure. This would last a very long, uncomfortable 90 minutes or so, then she'd pay and saunter out.

Then there was the kitchen helper that was always drunk. He would drop the change, lean down to pick it up and bump the register drawer on his way up..exploding all the change out and onto him and the floor. He got very belligerant at times with the customers and/or employees. He rode a bicycle and would wobble away when his shift was over. Needless to say, he didn't last long.


Fun, fun.

I miss that place!

Stormie

Oh!! But I wanna hear about those weird things!!

I'm going to flunk my linguistics test. I just wanted to say that and I didn't want to start a whole new thread.

Really...which one? My lifepartner used to work at the one in King of Prussia.

Cripes...obviously I need an update. Last I heard you were spoken for.

He is, but spoken for by a different person now.

As I recall, the usual clause prohibits it "on company time or furniture". :-)

So it would appear. The previous incumbent going poly would have been the other possibility. A visit to Syc's site has been informative.

Yeah...there have a been a few minor changes in Sycamoreland over the past year. :)

Ok... a couple of years out of college, I worked as junior office monkey at a real estate rental office. Most rents then were paid in cash over the counter, so much of my time was just taking and receipting rents. My other main job was property inspections, to see that tenants were looking after the landlords' properties. You often see weird shit during property inspections. You never see people in the same light after seeing some folks personal lives.

Legally, we had to issue a written notice to the tenant seven days before the inspection, so they could get their shit together and clean.

Anyhow, one woman, who rented a nice modern house, always paid on time, and had been no trouble at all, took offence at the idea of an inspection. And by "took offence", I mean she went apeshit. She came barrelling into the office screaming about how "no one was coming into her house" and that she had a gun and would shoot anyone that came near the place.

We were pretty cool about it all, withdrew the initial notice, notified the owner, who naturally freaked out and insisted we get in there as soon as possible and then begin proceedings to get her out of his house.

So we issued the required inspection notice again. Nutcase tenant comes in to our office, brandishing the notice, more threats, real psycho stuff too. It became a patten over the next few weeks, psycho spotted on the street, all the office girls vanish leaving poor old monkeyboy to deal with the homicidal tenant.

I copped many an earful, colorful threat and poor character description.

The rental dept. manager, decided it was time to "out-bitch" the bitch. Sadly, this was well within her abilities. She called in a favour with the local copshop, and, a couple of weeks later, we conducted not only an inspection, but a firearms search of the premises. This involved two officers, both with drawn sidearms, and a secondaries in ankle holsters, wearing bullet proof vests with big metal plates slotted down the front. We were required to wait about 100 metres up the street until an entry was secured.

This shit fully freaked me out. This is Australia. We don't have guns (mostly). I literally don't know anyone who openly owns a gun. We used to muck around with air rifles in school, but that's about it. So to see several guns in one day (including the shotguns in the boot of the police car) was full on.

As it turned out, the property was no Waco wannabe. It was neat and undamaged, there was a convertible BMW parked in the garage, there were no guns. To this day I still don't know what the issue was.

Psycho stopped paying rent from that day. It got rather ugly (financially) for the owner after that. But we got her out in the end.

I so hope her husband's got a shed.



Wow, what an essay! If you've read all that you've done well!

Very impressive, all of you! We need a "weird things I've seen" thread, since working in the office I do means no real interesting stories.

we can add weird things seen to the title too if you want....all stories are welcome!

Yesterday was credible death threat day at work.

The threatener did not show up on the property, but I kept a very close eye on the sight lines. Today, I'll be going in with the binoculars.

Against whom? Any and all? :eek:

Yeah, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that one. :lol:

I have this vision of you doing a Sydney Bristow stealth entry into the building. *Cue the Alias theme*

One of the docs, specifically, the facility in general since the threat includes busting his wife out. He's known to have a license to carry, actually rambles about it, but it's not known whether he has any firearms. I spent a lot of time talking to him the other night, and made my extreme unimportance very clear to him.

The vehicle has been spotted on the property several times, and someone may have seen him in a different vehicle.

I have fine bullet resistant glass, although I'm not solely relying on it.

Don't worry, the police will take care of it as soon as someone is hurt. :smack:

Might buy a little time, though. Can't hurt.:ninja:

Reminds me I need to send a memo to the safety committe about light and heat exposure ...

i walked past this guy...

Linus: Hey, How's it going?

Guy: Not to bad you know.

Linus: Yea'.

Guy: So hows my man doing?

Linus: *

Linus: (WTF?)

Linus: Uh doin' aight...?

Linus: :3_eyes:

I take it there's more evidence for that than rambling?
I like the new carry licences in Montgomery County; they're the same kind of photo-ID card as the Florida ("Good in 22 States--Count 'Em") permit.

The pictures still suck though.

If the photo didn't suck, it would be suspect as an official document. ;)

I deal with security for an ISP and I always get calls from people demanding to know why I am trying to hack them.:eyebrow: Then of course the threaten me and tell me they are going to get me and my company kicked off the internet.:p

Ok, you get the phone number from IANA, call an 800 number hit random options and get me, and I am the one hacking you?? wow, that's amazing.

I would love nothing more then to tell these people to stop going to porn sites! and see if the "attacks" stop.:rolleyes:

Welcome to the Cellar, John. :D
Don't you just love the public?

Oy. Of course, you don't get phone numbers from either IANA or ICANN though. It's by a whois query to the registrar that manages your domain.

You really do security? Maybe you should tell them why you're trying hack them . Why are you trying to hack them? :-)

Yup, I've been doing security for about 10 years now.

Of course I am hacking them because I must know what is on their computer! I also want them to call me and complain that's why I make it so easy to find me.:rolleyes: :D


Thanks for the welcome.:)

Data. If it happens to be a Powerbook, data and stickers. :-)

This one man will show up at work every full moon. If I see him he will tell me, "there is a full moon tonight." Then I won't see him again until the next full moon or maybe a couple of months will pass and I will see him again. We don't have conversations he just tells me,"the moon is full tonight." I just think or say, Oh it's been a month already? or give him a poker face and say, oh really. I'll look into his eyes. It looks silvery in there but I don't believe in werewolfs. He smiles a twinkly smile and goes about his business.

@skysidhe: Are you frickin' serious?!
Or is that a genius bit of fiction?!

Either way, I love it. Silvery eyes!

I am quite serious and it is quite true. I have never mentioned it to anyone. Not family or anyone just because it does sound like fiction. Those kinds of things you just file away under 'strange' To be honest I did embelish with the silvery part. His eyes are blue BUT They do have silvery flecks in them . He seems to be a really nice whenhe tells me there is a full moon. It's in a casual friendly way. He's not trying to be creepy,,......I don't think.

I thought it was a better story than me smashing my finger. Other than that it's pretty hum drum.

[edit- If I could write fiction like that I would become an author. I would have money and a name. Instead I am dumb and I work two jobs. Even if I had the time and energy to make things up I don't have the imagination or the inclination. Magic finds me I don't need to make things up.......jus...sos ya know]