Good v's Bad?
 

In light of recent posts about bad sexual experiences....


I was wondering what actually constitutes a "bad lay"????

ME!!!

Well I personally hate laying on things that're sharp, or really bumpy. I also hate it when I lay down and just can't for the life of me get comfortable.

six months later the friggin tiles are popping up. I hate that shit.

Shit - I seem to have posted this in the wrong thread.

and I dont like any of you

Cold, unaffectionate, selfish, disconnected, inhibited, uncommunicative.







my ex wife

when you have to see the DR. a few days later !!! ;)

when the doctor you have o see is the one that gave it to you

From a woman's point of view, I think a bad lay is anyone that you feel lousey about yourself for sleeping with afterwards. I've been with guys who were great in bed, but I wanted to die when I woke up next to them. Then I've been with guys who were not so great in the technique area, but I was still happy as a lark afterwards.

A good lay is when you feel good after you did it with the person.

One where I don't get off or she doen't get paid.

paris hilton

You'd so do her tho Kagen

A what?;)

lol bruce.

paris hilton is a fucken starfish. id put it in her arse just to get her to move

maybe if it was against your will?

here's an example

or this

A bad lay...a Bad lay...ok. I knew a guy who's willy was the size of a green bean...it wasn't that he was a bad LAY, it's just that he was a pretentious prick. I hate pretentious pricks.

i prefer to give the woman head. not because im nice. but because im so self concious i could never let a woman leave without an orgasm

we love you kagen:3way:

Pretentiousness is all a guy with a green bean willy has left.

When you have to get up and masturbate afterwards because they couldn't get you off. Or if you are never satisfied with the sex, and just want more and they are done (meaning they are either unwilling or unable to go for a second round).

Well, these two scenerios pretty much amount to the same thing...

Variations of "the food was lousy and the portions were small" theme.

If the food is lousy, then small portions is a plus, isn't it?

Hmmm.

So is it the journey or the destination? Which is more important? It is possible to enjoy the journey regardless of the destination? Is the destination worthwhile if the journey is unpleasant? How important is your partner's enjoyment of each aspect?

What's worse than a guy with a small dick, is a guy whose dick is too fuckin big.
Unfortunately if you try and tell your boyfriend his dick is too big, he just gets a silly grin on his face and tells all his friends

I see irony is alive and well in the pacific northwest.;)

The journey's a grand thing, but after a lot of walking one's feet get sore and tired, perhaps even ready to burst.

And then when you finally arrive at the destination, doing a few dozen victory laps around the block may be overkill.

Dunno, just wondering.:blush:

Oh I just read the end of your post, Ididn't realize we were talking about with partners. In that case, nevermind. /rosannadanna

So true, too big is worse than teeny weeny.

You WILL orgasm, if it kills me.:yum:

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:


Like thousands of tiny thumbs urging you to let loose...

Not to make my cellar debut by hijacking a thread, I've got to say this sentiment is curious, me a month out of a nearly-ten-year relationship with the only person I've ever slept with and realizing that our quarterly ritual (yes, it became that infrequent) usually ended with me taking matters into my own hands.

It's hard to strive for "perspective" when all it illuminates are the things you learned to live without, and yet it was them that chose to flee the scene.

Well, that's unfortunate ... but you've managed to find one heck of a bunch of people to commiserate with.

Welcome to The Cellar.

Thanks for the welcome.

I hate to admit that I've come to benefit off others' misfortune, but I've been lurking here for a while, and the troublesome tales of Undertoad and Lookout123's breakups (or more to the point, the narratives of how they've been working through them) are what made me stumble upon this place, and they've been helpful, if for no other reason than letting me pretend there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Wow, what a sap.

Anyhow, I'm definitely teetering over the precipice of thread-hijacking now, so stop encouraging me.

go for it. ive got a book to read anyway.

Go ahead and start your own thread, if you're ready.

And also let UT know when it's time to change your username.

Hijack away, theres no such thing as a safe thread here...and thats the way we like it apparently. :)

Having lived under a constant Internet pseudonym for the last ten years, I suspect that it would be easier to talk about certain subject matter under a name that the ex-girl wouldn't find, as well as never having to be accused of libel against her by virtue of my non de plume.

So for at least the time being, the handle serves its purpose. To drag this back on topic, I can say that by at least some of the standards presented here, "bad lay" is a label that might not be totally inappropriate to the situation (which might be an epiphany I'd not expected, or could just be sour grapes. Troublesome judgement, that.)

"that our quarterly ritual (yes, it became that infrequent) usually ended with me taking matters into my own hands."
I'm embarrassed to admit that I know EXACTLY how you feel. After 17 years of "bad lays" (not the Chips) I've found that sex can and should be enjoyable, even outstanding! Welcome to The Cellar Disenchanted. I hope you find what you are lookng for.

Well, the journey can be the best part. But if you are left unsatisfied with it at the end, chances are the journey wasn't very good. I have never really had this problem, but my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years did. His ex-wife left, shall we say, something left to be desired in sex. I can't imagine having to go masturbate after having sex because it was that unenjoyable.

I have had bad sex, but they were always a fluke and after some careful communication things usually worked out. And if they didn't work out, it wasn't because of the sex. there was always another issue that would not be resolved (usually the fact that they were cheating).

I would say that as long as you enjoy it and are somewhat satisfied after the act, then it isn't a bad lay. I seriously doubt I could orgasm every time I had sex just because of the other things in my life (like stress). But when I can't reach that point just the journey is plenty for me.

Thank you for the considerate reply.

I am inclined to agree with your postition. Especially wrt communication. It's all about communication, sex is communication by other means (with apologies to Clausewitz). Every day I communicate, sometimes well, often poorly, usually with words, occasionally by other means. Bottom line--when the communication is not working well, the chances of other things working well are greatly diminished.

You are very welcome. :D (at least I think you were referring to me... )


And I totally agree with you. Communication is an absolute must.

Yes, you, Iggy.

The unfortunate corrolary to communication as a prerequisite to sex is no communication, no sex.

Sex is so awesomely good--why do we fuck it up?

They already have the "no glove, no love" phase, I think we should add yours as well.

No communication, no sex. ;)

Sex is good--granted. But communication is better. Why do I fuck that up?

That I can't answer without knowing what your communication is exactly. Some people just don't know how to have good communication, and no matter what you do to fix their communication, it will always be a battle.

The problem I have sometimes is don't know what I want. So how can I communicate what bothers me and what should change when I don't know? But there isn't really anything (besides analyzing myself) that I can do about that. I think you must know what you want to happen in order to have good communication. And the other person has to know as well, or at least it seems that way to me.

Whoa Whoa Whoa!!!!!

No communication, No sex???? No, no, no!!!...can we at least have an age limit??

A bad lay for me happens when the guy only cares about himself (not caring if I get a "grand finale" too. Or if I've had sex because he wanted it, and I didn't...and I never got into it (maybe because I wasn't feeling like being that intimate with him).

Well that cuts out necrophilia...

Not if you're a medium.

That's what I love about you wolf; you're a "can do" type of thinker.

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