Best Headlines in Major News Media
 

Who the hell names a snack 'pirates booty' anyway.
As for fruity booty....nevermind.

Re: Best Headlines in Major News Media
 

There was a story about this snack on our NBC affiliate about 3 weeks ago.

But the funniest part was when John Bolaris, the weathercaster, commented, "I like the booty." I nearly fell out of my chair.

Social Justice
 

Seems as though she should have sued for the price of the snack or maybe she should snack on things like...I don't know....maybe....vegetables....or fruit?

I wonder how much she weighs, that would be good information to have in the story. Might make people much less sympathetic to her "plight". I will grant that the company that produces this "confection" should have appropriately labeled the packaging, but how much did she consume that it caused her: "weight gain ... mental anguish, outrage and indignation." to the tune of $50 million dollars?

This woman is messed up. Drink some SlimFast and get some exercise if your concerned with your weight.

Re: Social Justice
 

That's funny as hell Nic!

It's hardly Major, and it barely qualifies as News Media, but the Hickory Daily Record, published in my home town of Hickory, NC, once ran the headline "Shriners Help Burn Victims". I wish I had saved it!!!

Several years ago I read that the Philadelphia Daily News had sworn off tacky headlines. Not so.. soon after, there was a tragic incident where four people at a local hospital died due to incorrect dosages in their intravenous drug bags. The Daily News chose to run this story with the headline "IV Dead".

I like

"Man hit by freight train dies"

:) Not as funny... but kinda from the "Well, duh" department. :)

We have this shitty local newspaper called The Tribune. It's the kinda paper an intelligent person can't stand to read (or so I'm told) for more than about 30 seconds because there are so many errors in punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. They're the kind of fuckers that run a story about a local youth soccer team with a headline like "Area youths get a Kick out of Soccer."

So anyhoo, they had this article a couple years ago about some students at a local vocational school who were taking carpentry. As a class project, they were working with a construction company on building a new house. Well, the house burned down during the semester. And this story's headline in the Tribune was... "Class Dismissed".

ZDnet editors: masters of the pun jab at Microsoft
 

New bugs swarm Windows

follows the recent headline "Microsoft's Gopher hole deepens" noted above by Tobiasly.

A sub-heading in today's Philadelphia Inquirer: Cost of caring for the obese is heavy

Star In Child Porn Rap

http://static.sky.com/images/pictures/1080511.gif

LAX SECURITY
 

From this week's Philadelphia Weekly, regarding the PLCB: We're Screwed

(Story will be posted in another thread)

It's been done:

"Pharmaceutical company says its new antidepressant is 'worthless and dumb'-- 'And so's our whole company' says CEO"
http://www.theonion.com/onion3113/antidepress.html

Yea, I know we all saw it on Fark yesterday, but I still couldn't pass it up -- <a href="http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/020716/dctu011_1.html">NAMI Condemns Trenton Newspaper for 'Roasted Nuts' Headline About Fire at Psychiatric Hospital</a>.

That was in The Trentonian...I'm not surprised. That paper screams "sensationalism." But, when your city is the bitch of NYC and Philadelphia, you gotta be creative I guess. :D

Trenton would need to get much more attention from NYC and Philly before it could rise to the level of "bitch".

http://www.hollandsentinel.com/image.../traficant.jpg

Look at what Traficant swept under the rug

From today's St. Louis Post-Dispatch: Radioactive site is opened to tourists

<b><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2002/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/10/crue.reut/index.html">Warrant issued for Motley Crue singer</a></b>

If you don't get it, remember the 80s.

Hooters in the air?

Apparently, the Chairman of Hooters is eyeing Vanguard Airlines, which recently went tits up.

It's not as much the headline as it is the story:

Snoop Dogg Says He is Giving Up Weed and Alcohol

Still clinging to misogyny or not?

FU
 

Air Canada sued for $5 million over lost cat

A couple who allege Air Canada lost their little tabby cat Fu are seeking $5 million (U.S.) in compensation.

Baseball players queer tax pitch

In a last ditch attempt to avoid a luxury tax, the players are pitching a queer tax ... or so it appeared from this headline. ;)

New York lottery winning numbers: 9-1-1

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive...yslottery1.jpg

Jaguar brand coffee?
 

'Good to the last dropping:' cat poop coffee

Overhead in an Edmonton coffee shop: "This coffee tastes like shit."

"You throw like a girl!"

You just can't make this stuff up!
 

what. the. fuck.

Scientists Grow Pig Teeth in Rat Intestines

~james

Gotta love this one!
 

Study says use of Ecstasy party drug may harm brain

Sounds like something Homer Simpson would say, or else the reporter has been to too many raves himself :rolleyes:

MMMM.. brain harm... Extended Warranty! How can I lose!?

NBN, you clearly don't know much about e.
Just to quote your article
I don't know anyone that takes more than one tab at a go, his 'research' is utterly farcical. Its like injecting 3 bottles of vodka into a monkey in 10 minutes and then using its death as proof that a glass of scotch will kill you.

Oh! I missed this little gem down the bottom:
Man its worse than i thought, its not even vaguely independant, its utter FUD.

Jag,

You may have missed the point of this thread.

I don't think NBN is arguing the point of the article or supporting the study. Certainly he didn't write it, so it's unfair to describe it as "your article" and infer that NBN clearly doesn't know much about e.

Some threads are not intended to be polemic debates.

Some are just supposed to be fun.

It would be more fun if you could play along here. The humor is found in the HEADLINE. ;)

I think that counts as support. I get sick of people utterly misunderstanding ecstasy, particulary when the currant regime in the US is killing people with its hardline draconian stance on the stuff.

The Straight's Times
 

Same silly propaganda^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h 'study' , with more FUD, your point?

and nik, the 'entertainment' in NBN's headline is that its 'obvious', my point is that its stupid and incorrect, not obvious.

Thats it, when my squirell monkey gets up this afternoon, we're gonna have a sit-down about his party habits. His spelling is already deteriorating.

Hey Jag,

My point is a little humour. I'm not arguing a point.

The link is to the article in The Straits Times. Ha Ha. Sorry you missed the humour of two posts in a row in this thread.

if anything i'm dissapointed in The Straits Times

Isn't it funny how the news shows always show the exact same shot of Saddam firing his shotgun from a balcony?

Am I to draw the conclusion that the man walks around with a shotgun 24/7? Is this some sort of nightly ritual? "Hey, it's 10 o'clock. Time to fire off a shell from the balcony."

How about more clips of him kicking back, smoking a cig, and drinking scotch?

That's the smoking gun!
 

You've gotta love this one!
 

From the Houston Chronicle:

Spacewalkers overcome glitch by using hands

Glitch?

Alcohol rapidly confuses the brain :confused:

Sign of the Apocalypse, No. 483
 

It says something about our society when a headline on cnn.com -- C-N-f'n-N -- reads:

<a href="http://www.cnn.com/2002/TECH/11/22/offbeat.laptop.burn.reut/index.html">Scientist burns penis with hot laptop</a>

The headline is more amusing than the article, but:

<a href="http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/Midwest/12/03/raccoon.head.ap/index.html">Band director accused of mailing raccoon head</a>

Death row inmate found dead
I like the fact that they gave him CPR. Good one.