Happy Father's Day
 

What do I want?

Hmmm... . . . glucose?

Extra battery for your digital camera so you can have a charged spare always handy?

I know the punchline!

A steak and a BJ?

oooh, me too!

I'm gonna wreck my own thread. Too bad too, since I launched it in earnest.

...

I quit.

I need a break. This will be a bad weekend for me. It's been shaping up all week. A bad week, (nevermind) it's coming.

I miss my dad. Both of them, including my stepdad. They're with me every day. I talk to them all the time. I just don't feel comforted by them now. I don't feel them close like I used to.

Love and respect. These two men, E and W, are responsible for my life in several ways, literally and figuratively. There is no one in my life I love and respect more than my fathers. I miss them terribly. They've been gone for years now. I need them still. I use what they have given me, to the best of my ability, and I am still wanting. I am still lacking, still failing.

I just want to catch a break. A time out. I feel chagrined that I struggle with my life. Why? It is complicated. My challenges are far less than what theirs were. My options are far greater. I have many tools and techniques and resources unimaginable to them. But I don't' have any memory of them struggling like I am struggling. I don't have any idea how they overcame the disadvantages they faced. I don't know what they used, what was in them that is not in me that got them through. I am not the man they were. And that makes me feel very very sad.

I have so many advantages, yet I flounder and suffer and fail. Perhaps suffer is not the right word. It is more correct for me to say "feel pain" than suffer. But there's a lot of pain.

I miss my dad.

Ah BigV.
That made me cry.

All I can say to you is that you are that man to your daughter.

I'm trying to work out my relationship with my Dad. Telling the truth, as I see it, brings out a lovely passive aggressive streak in him. Honestly, right now I think my brother was the smart one getting far far away. It is mostly about religion and politics which are one in the same to him. The Church is apparently perfect and I need to be submissive. The world is black and white and I'm getting darker. We got along very well until my overtly religous sister moved back into town and got him going to worship in the middle of the night. There is a local right wing Catholic group that goes for this front of the church nonsense and a lot of religio/political stuff that I'd consider un er Christian. On the upside, the Church is just about dead here so maybe we'll let the nutters have it to themselves.:yelsick:

I almost never saw my Dad as a kid, since he was a second shift over-time addict. Now I have him at my kitchen table taking jabs at me most mornings and it is getting difficult. Oh well, I just got a call for another interview maybe I can go nuts on the work front and make myself scarce. musical interlude The cats in the cradle and the silver spoon little boy blue and the man on the moon. When you coming home...

thank you. you made my day.

Oh Griff...

there's so much here for me to process, but your closer is HUGE.

my friend...

I won't presume to tell you your business, to tell you what to do...But for me? That song's lyrics stand as a cautionary tale as potent as Moses holding forth from the mountain. I have lived my life accordingly. In fact, you and I have been in sympatico wrt song lyrics for a long time.

my heart goes out to you my friend.

my thoughts and words are a conflicting train wreck in my head. if something good/reconizable emerges when it comes to a stop, I'll share it then.

I don't really know what to say either. Your post had a big impact on me. I do know that you are a wonderful person, Griff, from what I know from here. Bless you.

Happy Father's Day to all of you who are.

To Big V - just from reading some of your other posts you seem like such a sincere and caring person. I'm very sorry for your loss, when people make such an impact on the individuals around them, it is very hard to let them go. You probably learned so much more than you realize - which has shaped you to be the man you are.

The Cats & the cradle song - makes me cry everytime i hear it - because it does show how much we miss when we put "stuff" in front of our children.

Thanks guys. I think it'll blow over if I can set some boundaries. He is lost since Mom died. She always kept him squared away, but without her nobody can tell him when to apply the brakes. It doesn't help that his memory is failing, something I denied for the longest time... Anyway, I'm sure we'll both work it out, if not with our Dads at least with our kids.

You're right Griff, boundaries. He has to accept, while you are still his son, you are a man, not a child... even if you have to hand him a foil. As such you have valid opinions and preferences plus a family to consider.

What that song doesn't say is, blood is not a guarantee compatibility. Sometimes distance preserves domestic tranquility.

I'm curious, did your dads settle for overcoming their obstacles pragmatically or always striving to find the most perfect solution. Example: happy they got the tree down and cut up... or lament, in retrospect, they could have done it faster, with less wasted motion?

Definitely pragmatists. And I got it from them in spades. I'm the anti perfectionist. I grok kaizen. I dig it. But there's room for rest too. Neither one was much of a lamenter. I musta got all my whine from my mom's side. Stoic would be appropriate. I am somewhat less so.

As to the song, for me, it is a strong reminder that while my kids are young, that I, the adult, have the obligation to make room in my life for them. Especially while they're young. I strongly see that I'll reap what I sow, and that wanting to reap a strong loving bond that I better plant those seeds, and not those of uncaring disinterest.

Happy Father's day.
 

Happy Father's Day to those who are.
What I want is for mine to stop treating me like I'm a mentally challenged two-year-old.

i wish my dad hadnt moved down south. he's cool to hang with.

I'm not doing anything for my poppa. I'm not a fan of his.

I mean, I'm gonna tell him happy fathers day, and maybe spend some time with him, and if i go by the apple store or the electronics store I might get him some cheap trinket or another but... yeah.

My dad died when I was 3.

I've had his love for 32 years, but my father may not be alive for next Father's day. I talked with him today, but he's not big on gifts, and he lives three time zones away.

He's starting chemotherapy RSN and might be in a transplant scenario sooner rather than later.

I don't know what to do. :(

Bummer, Pie. Call him, write him, visit if you can... let him know you love him. It will be good for both of you. I wish you strength and we'll be here if you need us.

Just finished celebrating - me being the dad, that is (well actually it more or less coincides with another event). Went to Woodlands Park Hotel (see Iowa commute thread) for lunch. Surreal event. No.1 son is on his way back from Le Mans (goes there every year to view the 24-hour race), while No.2 son was refereeing an under-11 year-olds' football (that's soccer) tournamment. So it was just me, Mrs CF and the M-I-L. M-I-L commented as we arrived: 'There seem to be a lot of children here, I thought it was Father's Day.' Food was good....

First, let me wish all the fathers here Happy Father's Day!

Second, I was watching tv yesterday and the question was posed, "What kinds of things do you do with your Dad?" (the answer was, watch tv, play ball, do homework).

It made me think--what did I do with my dad? The answer--not a whole lot. My parents were older and didn't do a lot of the traditional kid activities--I never played ball with my dad, for instance. Mostly he just worked. But he did save my life when I was burned (as well as give me life in the first place).

So, Dad, in memory of you.

Now I want to know what YOU did or do with your Dad!

What did I do with my father?
Damn near everything.

My parents epitomised the Give Your Life Up For Your Kids Ethic in that they worked shifts so that one of them was always home. This meant they spent little quality time together for about nine years, but we had the benefit of both a mother and a father in our lives - some friends with married parents still had a weekend Dad. He got us up one week and was there when we came home from school the next week. Mum's shifts were more complicated, but one week in three we also had Dad when we came home for lunch (we had Mum for lunch one week and we ate at school on the third).

So while growing up I had a Daddy who I saw cook, clean, sew etc. He was very sporty and (long list of household chores permitting!) would race us in the field outside the house, play badminton, frisbee, teach us to ride our bikes. He bathed us, put us to bed, read bed-time stories.

He was the only one who could get me to take medicine - I'd play my Mum up, but my Dad's silent trust got it past my gag reflex. He also taught me my times table by dint of repetition - they didn't know at the time I had dyscalculia and Mum was fooled by my ability in English to think I was just playing up.

When I was an extremely squeamish adolescent he videoed good horror films to watch with me. On the nights Mum was working lates (15.00-23.00) we'd settle down to watch a film and he taught me to listen to the music to gauge the mood, and to watch out for the downbeat to prepare for the coming shock. Anything gory he'd warn me to look away.

Sorry - anyone who knows me knows I adore my father. I just jumped on the chance to say it again :)

Happy Dad's day to all the dads.

Something I haven't said to Dad. I had every intention of phoning him today. Just didn't feel like it in the end. Now, it's late and I feel like a heel for not phoning him. So, I'll do what I often end up doing and phone him tomorrow. On a good note, he's finished moving into his permanent new residence; a really nice little bungalow, by the sound of it. It's a good job he tells mum stuff when he rings, or I wouldn't have a clue:P

What do I do with my Dad? Not a lot. A conversation about books, an argument about politics....from time to time.

What did I do with my Dad? Ah well, that's a whole other story. I adored my Dad. He was funny and charming and handsome and clever. And he used to take me on midnight walks in the park to look for bats and hedgehogs. He knew the names of all the birds; he knew what all the noises were. He told ghost stories. One winter, he built me the most amazing sledge. Built it at work in the workshop, on his breaks, through the night. A chair like the ones you get in waiting rooms, with its legs removed, atached to metal runners with a steering system and everything. When mum was working late shifts as a nurse, he'd go on to day shift and it'd be dad cooking our tea when me and our kid got home.

A lot of the time though.....he wasn't so present in our days. Working at night, sleeping in the day...rushing out to work as we settled down to tv. And then getting older and realising how much of him was hidden. The thing I most remember about Father's Day, growing up, was sitting with my big brother making cards. Now that's something I miss. Sometimes, when being a grown up gets too fraught, I think I'd sell my soul to be able to just sit at the kitchen table, with my big brother, making Father's day cards.

This year, my husband, Dakota had is kids on father's day for the first time in a couple of years. His daughter is 8 and his son is 5. They are good kids, but being encouraged to look toward their step-dad as their father by their mother. His daughter and I planned this great day for him, including breakfast in bed, time together, popsicles and a movie. She and her brother wrote him poems and letters and drew him pictures telling him why they love him. It was touching, this morning, when Dakota started to cry. He was so moved by this because he has never had a father's day like this. With his family making it all about him.

We are fortunate we get to spend the entire summer with his kids. It feels good to see them getting closer, again.

My dad came over to the house for dinner tonight. We planned it a few days ago. At the time, neither one of us actually realized that today was going to be Father's Day. :)

My father treats me like shit most of the time, he did for most of my life, when he was there.
He says he loves me a lot, but his actions say a lot.

I't a new Year!! Happy Father's day! All yo daddy-o's

http://www.sevenoaksart.co.uk/fathers_day.htm


http://www.sevenoaksart.co.uk/images...rsdayswing.gif




and for the older dad's

Hmmm, that Father's Day link had a flag, a swinger, and two balls. :haha:

I know but the site asked for a linkback. ?? I thought I was missing something too but I wanted to comply to the request. lol you


[i]This site has a FEW good gifs.
http://akidsheart.com/clips/dads/aniboat.gif

Happy Fathers Day! Cellar Dads!!!

So what did you get me? Can I borrow 15 bucks and get my nose pierced? Please...Please!!!
:D

Happy Father's Day, Dad. I wish we had more of them together.

I spent the morning with my Dad, and we had a good chat as he drove me to the station (it's a 30 minute drive).

I bought him a pocket watch for when he wears a waistcoat (he has a couple he wears on special occasions) and a Lottery ticket for this Wednesday. A gift of hope as it were. He seemed quite happy with it. I also got him quite a cheeky card with a picture of some nudie old people on it, and made a joke inside. Mum laughed really hard when she read it- that's worth the price of admission!

Next year I'll take him out for dinner.