10 places to have sex at work
 

This is pretty funny...

10 places to have sex at work
One in five people claim to have had sex in their office building. I did some asking around (and, of course, some looking on the internet) and discovered exactly where:

1. The boss's desk. Some surveys suggest that up to 25 per cent of people have bruised their spines - or someone else's - on their manager's table.

2. All 25 desks in your office. Don't think that you have the energy? Follow the example of this Australian woman.

3. Against a filing cabinet. It might be noisy and it's possible that at least one of you will end up with handle marks imprinted in your buttocks; on the other hand, a naked break-dancing civil servant might jump out of the cabinet mid-way through, making the whole escapade less private but potentially more exciting, if you like that sort of thing.

4. The editing suite. Apparently this is the preferred place for trysting TV types, being warm, dark and well-covered with CCTV cameras.

5. On the rooftop or a balcony. Outside, no one can hear you scream. On the other hand, unless you work in the tallest building in the vicinity, plenty of people can see what you're getting up to.

6. A sofa. Several people questioned in an informal Snakes & Ladders poll of people we thought might be quite naughty admitted bouncing on their boss's furniture after hours. One person suggested choosing leather over fabric where possible.

7. Somewhere there's food. Depending on where you work, this could be the canteen (mmm, gravy); the staffroom (particularly useful if you are dating a colleague although not recommended if you are also married to one); or the office tea-trolley. Really.

8. A disabled lavatory. More room than the average cubicle but still smells like a toilet.

9. The nurse's room. A lock, an examination table and even some wet wipes.

10. In the middle of an open-plan office. Go on. Be a devil. But do plan ahead; you'll need to think of something good to tell the recruitment agent the next morning when she wants to know why you left your last job.

http://timesonline.typepad.com/snake...ces-to-ha.html

I was told by one of the guys here at work about another guy, who was married, but had a girl on the side, got on top of a table in one of our back rooms (office not used) and climbed up above the ceiling tiles and had sex. wtf? How they did that without falling thru the ceiling is beyond me.

At a previous job, we hired students to help out part-time with sysadmin stuff on our VAX. One of these students was once caught in the midst of an intimate moment with her boyfriend in the system room.

We have a small club of sorts with showers!

Of course, anyone who has ever worked in a bar knows about pool tables. Not me, of course. :rolleyes:

So those stains on the felt aren't all from drinks knocked off the rail...eww...

We were once walking through Sears at the local mall, and as we passed their pool table display, I took a quick look and mentioned that I'd enjoy having a pool table one of these days.

"Oh yeah, I bet you would."
"Yeah, it would be fun."
"Lots of fun, no doubt."
"Yeah, I used to go over to the game room in college & play sometimes. I wasn't very good but my roommate's friend was one of the managers and she would give us extra games free when there weren't any customers. So I got a little more practice."
"Oh.
You mean you actually wanted one so you could play pool?"

Pocket pool!

Shawnee...quit touching that.

Dammit, Cicero...you busted me again.

A lot of the books I read - the "lovers" have sex on pool tables. Huh, what a coincidence:rolleyes:

Oh hey... how could I forget?

Where to have sex at work?

"That would be in the butt, Bob"

Been there; done that. Bathroom stall with the UPS guy. :-)

Tick

Tick

Tick...


hmmm, I have a few to work on

Oh, Sheldon, you dirty slut.

I love that about you!!

I had sex on one of my employees desks once. She was really pissing me off at the time, but I had no real reason to fire her.

I think that's what you call passive agressive sex.

Was she using it at the time?

Did he have a big package?

nope

Let's just say I know what brown can do for me. ;-)

Awww.... :-)

Ali, it doesn't sound very satisfying (as retribution.. not as sex :doit: ) if she didn't know you did it!

I havent had sex on my boss' desk.....yet!!

I plan to call him mid act and inform him of my activities :)

Desks (and pool tables for that matter) are both really uncomfortable.


A coworker's overstuffed armchair is where it's at.

Nope. Sex at work virgin. Although when V & I worked at the same place we couldn't wait to get OUTTA THERE!

Actually it was great. She got to wonder why I smiled every time I went into her office for the next couple of days.

You just love a man in uniform.

I met my wife in the military, she was a CPT and a company commander. Since she out ranked me she would call me to come over for lunch every now and again and I would pick her up after work when her day was done. Being a CO I often had to wait for her after work. We screwed on her desk at least 20 times, both of in uniform. She would wear her class A's to work without panties all the time.

Hey, I saw that movie! ;)

ask lab rat about the deli counter on christmas day in grocery store. 7 years ago

I think you pretty much summed it up there, babe. :blush:

Uh, I don't think so. Was the store OPEN? Were people around? Are we talking "in line at the deli counter" or "on the deli counter"?

Playing "Hide The Salami?"

OK, OK

Red was the Produce Manager for a large grocery store in the city we lived in at the time. Because the store was closed for Christmas, it was his job to go in and check to make sure the freezers were running etc. I went with to keep him company. The deed was done on the counter. Add deli counters (and large conference tables actually) to that list Clod.

I'm too big a ninny to do anything in public where we might actually get caught by a stranger. Which, incidentally, drives Red nuts because I'll post my bits on the internet, but won't risk messing around in public.

I don't get it either, but the best explaination I can come up with is that you can choose to go to the NSFW threads or not, where a stanger has no choice if they catch two people working on getting an indecent exposure charge. FWIW, I have had sex with other people in the room, but they were having sex too, so it's not like I'm a total prude about doing it in front of others.

huh, it looks like your computer cut off the rest of your post. this is supposed to be the first sentence of a new paragraph.

Did you give Red number 34, and shout "now serving number 3" and make him wait?

The Cellar isn't "public", is it? We're all friends here, aren't we?

I've never done that - what was it like?

:lol:

I'm checking the health and safety codes right now.

Was the slicer turned off and disconnected from the outlet?

It's like having dinner at a all you can eat buffet. :-)

I admit I've never tried it, but I might have a little trouble getting the job done if I had to stare down an electric meat slicer during the act.

Fred comes home after a hard day's work at the pickle factory and announces to his wife that he's developed a terrible sexual compulsion; he wants to stick his dick in the pickle slicer. His wife suggests he see a sex therapist, but he says he's too embarrassed. He promises to sort his problem out himself ...


A few weeks later, Fred comes home ashen-faced. His wife can see he's seriously upset.


'What's wrong?' asks the wife.


'Well ... you know that urge I had to stick my dick in the pickle slicer...'


'Oh, My God!' says his wife, 'What happened?!'


'I got fired' says Fred. His wife unzips him and, to her surprise, finds his dick still intact. Astonished, she asks 'What happened with the pickle slicer?'


'Oh,' says Fred, 'She got fired too.'

I want to do it on the bear skin rung on in the museum... or a least I would if it was treated with arsenic.

No, and the next day they got a little behind with the orders.