Kid's sports - parent's perspective needed
 

OK, as many of you know I coach kid's soccer. Currently I handle a rec league Under 8 team. I took a season off so I could focus on business so I had to form a new team from scratch this time around. Usually when a new team forms the results are pretty terrible because I don't recruit or go looking for special talents, I just grab the 8-11 kids + my own that don't belong to a team yet and go from there. It is a learning and building process. This time it is a bit different though.

I showed up to the first practice to find that I had 14 kids. Apparently several parents had requested me as the coach even though I'd never had their kids before. I evaluated them and came to the conclusion on a scale of 1-5 (5 being very skilled) I had a whole squad of 3's with maybe two 4's - one being my son. (he's more obsessive than i am. soccer is what he does by his choice, not mine) Usually there are a couple of 1's and 2's, but not this time. We had our first game a week ago and we tore the team up. It was 12-0 at the end. I felt bad, they felt bad. Normally if I'm really beating a team badly I'll put my less aggressive players up front and put a leash on my real shooters. It just didn't work. 8 different players scored. I had a meeting with my kids' parents. I asked if there were any parents willing to move their kids to the other team to even things out and they would get more playing time. 3 of the top 5 skilled players moved over. 2 moved up an age bracket.

I felt pretty good going into this saturday's game. I had nine players total (7 on the field at a time). We were playing a team that on paper had us severely outclassed, but I figured my kid's would have fun, get lots of touches on the ball and it would give us something to learn about for the next practice. I asked the referee to quit changing the score board 15 minutes into the first period. The score sheet at the end said we beat them 16-3. This is not cool.

I honestly don't know what to do. It's not as simple as just moving weaker players forward. I've got two girls that spend more time waving at their moms than playing who scored. I left them as forwards. These kids just gelled really quickly. They spread out, they find space, they pass, they take the follow up shots. There is not one player on the team that was really unstoppable (mine has the potential but I kept him in the goal for the whole second period) - every kid played unselfishly and it showed on the scoreboard.

All that to say this - what do I do? Dismantling the team is not an option. On paper we aren't nearly as strong as the other 7 teams in the league to begin with - and I only have 9 kids left anyway. But I don't want to create hard feelings with parents' of other teams because they think we're stacking the team and running up the score. So what do I do? I refuse to tell my kids to give anything less than their best effort. That isn't good for the kids and only breeds resentment.

As I type I'm contemplating spending my afternoon calling the parents from saturday's other team to apologize and explain that running up the score was not my intent. I want these people to enjoy the game and want to keep playing. It is embarrassing.

As a parent what would you want to see happen?

Is there any possibility that you are humbly refusing to acknowledge the role your own coaching may be having in making these average kids magically become great players? Or maybe it's just that the other coaches really suck. I played on a softball team once that lost every single game, by a minimum of ten points. In retrospect, I have realized that we were just as average as the other teams, but we had suck-ass coaches who took the whole "we're just here to have fun" thing to the extreme of never helping us improve. (We had girls throwing with the wrong leg forward, for example, and they never said anything, through the whole season.)

Perhaps you could hold practices together with the other team(s), that way the other kids can learn from either you or your awesome kids, whichever it really is.

Both of those coaches are ultra competitive "win at all costs" types. I play against both of them in the adult leagues. Collaboration is unlikely. One of them would like to physically injure me, the other has specifically said I'm a lousy coach and shouldn't be allowed to waste kid's time.

Honestly, they are each better "skills and drills" coaches than I am anyway. My main goal is to teach kids how to think on the field and have fun. You may be able to dribble fast, pass straight, and shoot hard, but what good does it do if you aren't sure which one to do in a given situation?

I like this idea...perhaps mix all the kids up in scrimmages...then see how they perform. I think this would make it feel less antagonistic for the kids of other teams.

Ah, nevermind. Too late.

I was the asst. coach for years from U-8 to U-14 kids and we won a lot of games due to our head coach (NOT ME) being nothing short of spectacular. Once up by 5 goals we directed our players to progressively:
1) defensive players & offense players switch positions
extreme rotations too - every throw-in or opportunity. Keeps the clock running.
2) no shots until a minimum of 5 offensive passes
3) no shots unless with opposite foot - left footed shoot right and vice versa.
4) no shots period - play keep away
5) Pull a player - mostly when we were 11 a side, but still an option.
6) only 2 players allowed to cross a particular point - ie: midfield

The point is to be creative with pulling your kids back and not expressly letting the other team know it. This lets everyone save face and get some action instead of destroying the other teams confidence. It also teaches your kids some great lessons in sportmanship and humanity.

It's always that way, there's always one team that beats them all. If you try to fix it too much, you're going to spoil the game. Holding your kids back too much will eventually spoil their enjoyment and piss their parents off. Invite some of the newbs/1s and 2s from the other teams on to your team. Or some different newbs altogether Move to a different league.

Don't keep score. Keep a different score for your team -sure, celebrate their goals, but create your only little side game -3 points for an assist, 1 point for a pass with the "wrong" foot. Do they play offside? If not, teach them to play to that rule even if the oppo isn't.

How many games have you played so far? Just the two?

change the team name to The Patriots, and run up the score!

What a dilemma!
If you can get a team to click immediately, I believe England are looking for a new coach.

Seriously,I think it's great that you are worrying about the other team's morale, but I think you're overdoing it. Remember, they only get beaten by your kids once, then next week play someone else, and maybe win. One thrashing a season is acceptable. You aren't really responsible for the other team's feelings, except for keeping the behavior of your kids polite and sporting in victory. No gloating.
I think you'd do more harm to your kids (and they're your primary responsibility here) by stopping them from doing their best. I think you're already doing enough to make things harder for them with your creative substitutions, and your thinning of your team.
The only risk I see is your kids turning into arrogant jerks because they always thrash their opponents. How to behave in victory is as important a lesson as in defeat. Apart from that ... let 'em win.

yeah, thanks - but i'll pass on the england job. just not enough talent in that bunch. ;)

but seriously the more i think about it there really isn't much to be done but just have fun. i'm not worried about my kids getting out of hand. they're a good bunch and i do work on sportsmanship issues with them.

it has only been two weeks in this session with 8 more to go but i've been coaching in this club for 2.5 years now so i know pretty much everyone involved and most of the kids too. the two teams we've beat are on the higher side quality wise but the toughest team by far is this coming saturday. i've coached every single kid on that team at least one season and they're good.

i do have little tracking games i keep tabs on throughout the season and i do set goals for the kids individually so i'll figure something out. my own kid was pretty selfish with the ball about a year ago so i had to set the rule with him that he had to have 1 assist before he was allowed to take a shot on goal. it worked well with him, i may try that with a couple others.

anyway, i live in the kids' soccer world so my perspective is a little skewed. I guess i was just looking for thoughts from parents of what they're thoughts would be if they saw their kids' team get trampled.

Depends on how they are getting trampled - 2 sons both played travel soccer for years. When the other teams players are in oyur face and making a mockery of your kids, it is pretty tough to take as a parent and a player. On the other hand, if you are getting your asses kicked and the other team is not arrogant it still sucks, but isn't quite as bad. Thats why I made the suggestions that worked for our teams. Good Luck Sat.!

My daughter's team get trampled some times and wins some times. It would be a little demoralizing to get absolutely creamed in one game, but there's always next week. I honestly wouldn't worry about it. Getting creamed every once in a while is good to keep your ego in check.

I like that rule. I think you should make every single player on the team use it. Oh, and tell each of them privately, and warn them not to tell anybody else. I guarantee you'll have really fun games.

But SD, if every player has to have an assist before they shoot, nobody will ever score!

you're all sick. sick i tell you.

I missed it. Dur durrrrrr

i think the term you were looking for is De de deee. i missed it the first time too.

UT, you should have bluffed me.

"Ahh, I see you are beginning to understand my humour..."

The more I think of SD's suggestion the more I like it. I'd love to watch it.
Only I think the Japanese national team plays the same way. Solid defense, very good midfield, but strikers who would rather dribble into the corner and cross or back-pass...

No, if I said "dee de de" I would be stealing a comic's joke and that would be bad.

your mention of the back pass made me lol (just a little) at my son in last week's game. he and one of our neighbor boys have been on the same team for about two years and always play in the neighborhood. they are a fantastic midfield tandem. we're talking 6 year olds with blind passes and heel kicks. they just know where the other one will be.

somewhere in the last two years he and the neighbor just started doing this neat little thing where my kid would quickly turn around and drop a hard pass straight back and then take off running down the field past the defenders who'd caged him in. the neighbor would pop up and and one touch lob the ball downfield and my kid would run up on it for an easy point. worked every time and it was fun to watch them just create their own little tricks.

well, the neighbor is taking this session off so it has kind of thrown my son off. saturday my kid is moving up the field and realizes he has little chance of making it through the 3 kids in front of him and there is no support for a forward pass. he turns fast and makes a really hard back pass and takes off downfield. except there was no neighbor - just one really freaked out defender who can't figure out why my son tried to shoot at his own goal. he kicked it out of bounds and then started yelling at lil lookout. lil lookout is just like WTF? why didn't you lob it?
I was still laughing about it after the game when i had to sit them both down and explain what had just happened from each player's POV. they were both like "OOOH, you wanted me to..."
man i love coaching kids.

Sigh. One day people will understand my humor . . . .

I should mention, I was once on the wrong end of a 20-0 score in a soccer game. The opposing coach sent a letter of apology later, which we weren't appreciative of.

ok, there is something close to the topic. did you find the letter insulting? or were you pissed that he allowed the score to get that out of hand?

In this spirit, I am wary of going soft on the opposition unless it is done very subtly. To not be taken seriously is more of an insult than to be clobbered. To be given an easy consolation point implies pity and contempt, and casts doubt on any good things you did manage to do.

I'd rather be beaten 12-1 and know my score was genuine, than be beaten 8-2 because the other team pulled players off.

But then I am neither a kid nor a parent. Just a big bunch of opinions with access to a computer. ;)

All of the above :)

Let me see what I can do.. bearing in mind that this happened 25 years ago!

1. The root problem was that we were in the wrong conference. We were a private school, and we were in a conference with other private schools. The problem was we were small--there were between 6 and 15 students in each grade; take maybe 30-40 students in grade 9-12 in any given year, take 50% to get the male population, and you see that the odds of getting a spectacular soccer team were not great. (We did have several excellent players though.) Our competitors were larger schools in larger cities.

So we were used to losing. We were not used to losing by 20-0 however. (Even so, we were not the conference doormat. There was one other team we could reliably pencil in as two wins each season. Though they were larger than we were, they were also in a relatively rural area.)

2. The school itself was not well-liked. Almost all of our opponents were bigger and better funded than we were. Have you ever known somebody with a lot more money than you have? Of course, we all do. Maybe a rich guy could buy or sell you for his lunch money. But some of them will come up to you shake your hand, ask how you're doing, and at least pretend that we're all in this together. Some of them you can just tell are wondering why they have to live on the same planet with scuzz like you. This particular school, as an institution, came off like category b).

3. Several of their players were overheard during the game to say "hey stop that, Coach told us to stop shooting" to their teammates.

4. The "apology" basically boiled down to "I'm sorry I didn't pull my first string sooner." If I had been coaching our team, I would have filed the letter rather let my team see it. Our coach chose to read it to us, and it didn't do anybody a bit of good.

I would take 'em to play a team two age groups older, so they get their ass handed to them, just to show them what it's like.

I would make sure they remain focused -- and humble. I would make sure everybody was involved.

And then I would recruit some 1s and 2s. Project kids, with some good skills who lack the whole package.


Of course I have an emotional bias in saying that. I was a young kid with a love for the game, and great ball skills, but no nerve. Smaller than the rest of them, I was great in drills, but in games I would get flustered a lot and not make good plays. My coaches were all part-timers who could give a crap. Because of my age I got cornered into being the smallest player on a u18 team, lost all my friends who were still u16, and I rarely got into games, was flustered all the time and had a really terrible time. All I needed was somebody to recognize my situation and guide me a little bit, but no.

damn, that sucks all the way down the line.

line item 3 is why i won't restrict the kids' freedom to shoot. it is a game and they came to play. knowing that the other team is beating you with oone hand tied behind their backs only makes it worse, i think.

i think i've come to the conclusion that there really isn't anything to do other than rotate the kids through positions and make sure that their sportsmanship is at least on par with their scoring ability. (if not better)

that sucks UT. i hear stuff like that all the time and it just sucks. being a good coach isn't that damn hard. all you have to do is realize that not all kids have the same strengths but every kid has SOME strength. find that strength put them in a position to capitalize on that strength and once they've gained some confidence, nudge them a little further out of their comfort zone.

i've got one girl on my team that literally cried the first time i put her on the field because she was terrified she'd make a mistake and people wouldn't like her. i made her a defender and told her all she has to do is kick the ball to the outside of the field if the ball comes close to her. she did that for a couple of weeks and got some confidence. soon she was chasing the ball down and shutting the other players down really well. i just put her in as a forward last week and she loved it. she even scored. she was all cryiing and stuff because she couldn't believe she scored. i had to sub her out so she could go hug her dad. it was pretty cool watching the confidence grow.

:wipes tear from eye:

Two thoughts: how did this week's game go?
And, the strength of your team is not through individual brilliance but having gelled really quickly. As the season goes on, the other teams should improve in this regard and close the gap a little.

just got back from this week's game. ouch.

i only had 6 players show up. apparently had 2 kids out of town, 1 kid in his peewee football championship game, 1 case of food poisoning. that was 2 of my 3 best strikers and my 1st choice keeper. anyway, it takes 7 to fill out a team so we played a player short and no subs for the whole game. that's a lot to ask of 6 and 7 year olds, but they did great. we played one of my old teams - with 14 players.

24 minutes per period with no subs. i did the same thing in my game last night so i know how it burns. going into the break we were tied at 3 each. we were leading 4-3 with 10 minutes left and then my kids just ran out of legs. they showed a lot of heart though, they ran it out and finished at a very respectable 7-5.

i'm pretty satisfied all the way around. they played short against a team that subbed fresh legs every three minutes. the other team has some real talent too, so i'm pretty doggone happy with my kids. they now know they are beatable so that is a good thing. but they played with heart so it wasn't a soul crushing defeat.

24 minutes per period with no subs? God, I hate those kids.

wait til they get older. then it is 45 minutes per period and there are only 3 subs allowed per game.

Gah, I hate them too.

Lookout, you are bringin back some great memories for me - thanks and keep on keepin on!

Well, we had another game on Saturday and as expected we were short players due to Christmas and travel plans.

The other team had 12 players we had 7. With 7 on the field at all times that gave them the ability to sub their kids every 2-3 minutes and keep them fresh. I had to cycle my kids from offence to defense to give them a break. Unfortunately the 3 kids I was missing this week (my roster has solidified at 10 players) were 3 of the more versatile kids. My only real weak player on the team is a real sweetheart of a girl who loves being a part of the team but gets bored pretty quickly with the actual game. She likes to sub out a lot and stops to chat with anyone who is around her. That makes it tough with no subs. So we tried something new. She went into the goal. She has never practiced it nor shown any interest in it, so it was with some trepidation that I made this girl the target for the other team who has a couple of serious shooters. Their 2 best players are good kids and I know them well, but they have been playing for a couple of years in the outdoor mexican leagues - nothing racial, just a different style of play - lots of elbows and crunching tackles. lil lookout is a good keeper and loves to play between the sticks so I had planned to put him in there because his allergies/asthma had flared up that morning and I wasn't sure he could take the running. Unfortunately with the 3 that were missing he was the only one left who has really good close control and instinctively knows where to play. So, a field player he was. With that we had a solid if not dynamic team. 2 solid defenders, a strong midfield, and two weak forwards. So that is the backdrop for the battle.

I generally don't give tactical directions to the kids because I want them to develop their own creativity. Sometimes they surprise the snot out of me. The kick off was one such time. My two forwards usually pass the ball off and the players move out and try to pass and move. this time the first touch was a slow pass straight back at our own midfield and lil lookout sprinted up and just kicked the ball as hard as he could. The ball is in the air, the other team is shocked to see 2 forwards and two midfielders run right through them, one of the forwards gets the ball as it lands takes a shot which bounces off their keeper right into lil lookout's path and he slaps it into the near corner. 4 seconds, 4 touches, 1 point. My kids played strong throughout the first half and we went into the break leading 4-3. I had rotated my forwards and defense and left the midfield alone, trying to help them catch their breath. One of my forwards said she was exhausted and asked to play in the goal. That totally changed the dynamic so she stayed there for about 15 minutes and 4 goals allowed. So with 10 minutes left she is back up front and fairly fresh again so she is running back and forth pulling defenders with her. Somewhere along the way we scored 3 to go into the last 2 minutes tied 7-7. Lil Lookout scored with under a minute to go, then stole the ball back and dribbled down to far corner where he and our two forwards kept the ball buried until the final whistle. We win 8-7. I had watched our team fight hard for 48 minutes without subs playing without our more aggressive players. I watched lil lookout really step up and fight from box to box in a way that I hadn’t really seen him do before. What I didn’t know until the game was over was that he had scored all 8 of our points. Normally I wouldn’t consider that a good thing but I saw our other players shooting and him passing so it is just a sign that he was determined enough to keep going back in for the second shot and fight until it hit the net.
One heck of a game.

Congrats to lil lookout and to you too. You should be proud!

i just looked back through this thread and realized i've misplaced a post somewhere. My team has had even further shuffling since we moved some of the strongest players to other teams. 2 coaches (that we hadn't even played yet) suggested to parents for their team to complain to the club director how unfair it was that i stacked my team. i actually went in to meet with these assclowns that were worked up in a frenzy about the issue that they hadn't even looked into on their own. i laughed as they got frothy at the mouth because i just knew they were idiots.

then they pushed my button and my ego took over. their point was that i had stacked my team so i could get scouts from a cross town more prestigious club to come watch MY kid for their developmental program. that pissed me off just a tad. 1) he's only 6 and it's just a game. 2) he was already offered a spot by that club. a spot i declined because of point 1.

ego met mouth and my challenge came out. i told both of the other coaches they could each take any two of my players(other than lil lookout) and replace them with two players from their team. one of their choosing, one of mine. one coach chose not to trade at all, the other jumped at the chance. he took my first choice keeper and a really good forward. i took back a decent midfielder and... wait for it... his choice was to put HIS DAUGHTER on my team. i feel bad for the girl. as if it isn't bad enough to not really be up to speed on a sport your dad is fanatical about, your dad trades you away. i like her, she's a nice kid and she actually fits with my team really well, so i think it can be a good thing for her, but damn. that kept my team at 9 players, but one of the moms saw the coach trade his daughter and asked for her daughter to be off his team, so now i'm at 10. strangely though i have 17 at practice. i have good relationships with all the parents and kids who've moved to other teams, so they chose to keep practicing with us and just playing for the other teams.

as an afterthought i've been asked by a couple parents if i'd be willing to head up a competitive team in addition to the rec league i currently do. a new club season starts up in two months and i might form a new team out of the kids that get stuck on the bench with their current club teams. even if we don't take the league by storm at least they'd all get playing time. could be fun.

I'm not alarmed by this.

Of course, I know diddly squat plus 1% about the situation there, but one thing I remember wanting to get from sports, as a parent and a coach, was an experience for my kid that they benefitted from. I see that happening here.

If Dad's a total jerk, she's better off with more distance--win. If Dad's a reasonable adult, she'll have it explained to her--win. If Dad's a poor coach, she got lucky--win. All the possible scenarios I can imagine register a win for the kid in this situation.

Think about it, lookout. Your case is the rare exception. There are *some* coaches who have kids in the sport, and some of those pairs are on the same team. But the vast majority of the kids already have a coach that isn't their Dad. She got moved from exception to normal.

Now. I love my kids completely and I know you love yours the same. I understand your reaction to the actions of the other Dad. It seems bizarre to want to increase the distance between the parent and the child. But I think she definitely got the sweet part of this deal.

Strong kids = great story man. Ever think of writing sports Lookout? That was really well presented.

Now some ugliness. The guy who ran the developmental program lil' Griff is in just got picked up for rape. We never left her alone with him, but I'm sure there are some parents hating on themselves right now. I can't imagine what I'd do if it were my kid.

Oooh, Griff, I am sorry. That sounds awful. :( How stressful for all involved.

I agree with BigV. Daughter ended up with the better end of the deal. Don't pity her. She will be better off if treated just like all the rest on your team.

I agree with Griff, also. You should write for a sports column. Your stories are engaging enough that I even enjoy reading them and I am not even a sportsy person.

I (mildly) disagree with BigV and Case about the coach trading his daughter.
I see your points, BigV, and if the coach had started the season by explaining to his daughter that it would be best for her to be on a different team, then I'd agree with you fully. But this situation seems different to me - she was on his team, and he chose to trade her away. That says OUCH to me. Parental rejection. No matter how it is explained.
Yes, most kids are coached by someone not their parent, but not many kids get traded away by their own dad.
And what's going to happen when she has to play against her dad's team? Who does he cheer for?
This thread excellently illustrates both what is great and lousy about kids sports. Lookout, if I had kids I'd want you coaching them.
As for that other coach ... Jeeves, lay out my slapping gloves. The heavy ones. With the spikes.

And as for the scum Griff mentioned ... I'm more inclined to the "angry mob" response there. Although Griff's post lacks details - was the victim connected with the sports program, or not? And does "picked up" mean arrested, charged, or convicted? And, do I really want to know? Not really.

oh wow. griff, i'm glad beyond words that your child wasn't hurt but equally saddened that any child was.

i do not support the angry mob response though. if he did in fact commit the crime then he should be quietly driven out to the middle of the woods where his screams cannot be heard. then horrible, terrifying, nauseating things that i won't pollute this thread with should be inflicted upon him slowly and methodically. mobs just get to the finish line too quickly.

Good point.

But maybe in the town center would be better - even if it deters just one child molester/rapist ... that's one.

But after a fair trial of course. Seriously. Just maybe he's innocent.

and thanks for the comments about my writing. i just write the way i talk. i may start another thread about the tournament i played in last weekend. if the story is accurately told it might be shocking for some of you to see that i'm sometimes not 100% saintly.;)

Ahh, what happens "between the white lines"

Aw, Jesus Griff. That's horrible. Please tell me it didn't actually involve a child?

Sorry to take this thread off the rails... I don't have much info but the guy ran travel teams with older girls like 15-17. I believe his issues are related to that group of girls. Lil' Griff's contact was negligible. Some of the travel team girls acted as his assistant coaches in the skills program she attends. He actually spent more time teaching the game to parents while the older girls worked with the younger ones. If this all turns out to be true, it looks like he was trying to gain the trust of parents. He's a leg shaver, so I had my doubts about him from the start. They're gonna love him in prison.

Crap. Local paper headline this morning: Sex Case Widens Against Coach
3 counts felony first degree rape
child pron case as well
one incident took place at the sports complex where my kid goes

OMG - That is terrible, just terrible.

And back on topic...

Another Saturday another game. This week we faced what I figured would be a real bogie team for us. I've seen them play and they have three kids that are just awesome little grinders. They'll wear you down because they never stop, they pass well, and they can shoot. I had all but one of my players back today so I expected a really nice close game. The ref quit changing the scoreboard in the 6th minute and the other team didn't score until the final two minutes. I didn't count but one of my detail focused parents said that we had 21 goals in the game.

My two most defensive girls scored 5 between them. After his 4th goal lil lookout was instructed that he could only shoot another goal after he got an assist - with a specific player getting the goal. I changed that when I saw him dribble up next to their keeper, turn, shout the teammate's name, and shoot the ball straight at her so the ball bounced in the goal. Not what I meant by an assist, but he gets points for creativity. From that point on he was only allowed to shoot left footed or with his head. He finished with 9 goals. Every single player scored except one boy who refuses to cross the center line. He's just a happy little defender. The kids played great - they passed as a team, they defended as a team, they surged forward as a team. They had fun and to hell with the score - anyone could see I rotated the players through every position.

But the kicker and the "would you believe it?" moment for me was when lil lookout disobeyed me for his last goal. He had made a series of what I thought were really sloppy passes from the centerline into the box. I was curious but not concerned when he ran to the sideline, grabbed a drink of water and said "watch my next kick". Sure enough he hung back in the center circle and just waited, I thought he was tired and resting - but the ball came rolling back at him. He took three steps forward and just kicked as hard as I've ever seem him kick. The ball went up over everyone's heads and came down neatly behind the keeper. He had just scored from nearly midfield. He is 6. He does his little celebration and yells, "I made the same shot you did last night dad!" The little turkey hadn't been making bad passes, he'd been zeroing in that long shot. With that done he walked over to the sideline and said "sorry, I couldn't do that with my left foot." I wasn't sure whether to high five him or strangle him. Nope, no competition in my family.

good game good fun

:lol:

Aren't you glad he didn't try to copy your deliberate raised boot offense from the week before?
And then shouted "Hey, Dad, I spiked him! Just liked you got that other guy!"

The game this week was a hard fought affair. I had all my kids back and so did the other team so no excuses about missing players or anything else. The game had a real ebb and flow to it with my kids getting out in front early. Lil Lookout took exactly :23 seconds to put the first one in the net. The kids are really getting comfortable rotating through the positions now so whoever my two forwards are move out to the right and left of the net and let the midfield (usually lil lookout and company) move up the middle and either knock the ball in or pass to the sides for the tap. They're really doing a good job of passing in front of the net.

The other team has two kids that recently moved over here from a crosstown club. They're twin 7 year old boys who just play hard. Usually clean, but always hard. I've never seen 7 year olds who can so discretely tug on shirts and shove other players off the ball. Not skills I want to encourage, but those players will do well as they get older. Good passing, great shots. Those two did a great job of running my kids ragged.

The game was a real shootout with goals being scored every time you turned around. My kids were up 9-7 with just about 10 minutes left but the other team was really getting the best of us in terms of possession and my defense was getting flustered. So I moved my strongest kid into the goal, my strongest defender as the only other player on our side of the field. Lil Lookout was set to roam just on their side of the centerline and the other 4 players were told to just attack the goal constantly and under no circumstances were they to drop back on defense.

From that point on the other team just didn't know what to do. The first shot their keeper blocked he punted the ball downfield as his team moved to attack. I had, effectively, four forwards who just stayed near his box. My one defender beat the other team to the ball and waited until they got close to him before passing the ball right over them to lil lookout who collected it, dribbled up, drew the keeper out and passed the ball to one of our forwards for the tap in.

After the second time scoring in that fashion the other team quit attacking entirely and my kids just passed it around in front of their goal taking shots when they could.

The twins' dad had taken over coaching duties for the week as the normal coach was out of town. He was livid. I didn't even know how to respond when he said it wasn't fair to play like that. Seriously? All I did was tell my kids to attack and shift them away from our own goal. how is that not fair? It was a gamble in that they could have very well overrun lil lookout and my one defender to score at will. The gamble worked, that's all.

Anyway, the only reason this story was worth telling is the sight waiting for me when i turned away from the furious father. While he was yelling and I had been helping my keeper out of his gear the kids had already gathered together, done our usual tradition of cheering the other team's name, and were shaking hands. The dad may not get it, but the twins picked up great sportsmanship somewhere, they shook every players' hand and went out of their way to shake mine and congratulate us. I stood there listening as both teams mixed together and congratulated each other, not just on the win, but on specific plays or highlights. Gave me that warm fuzzy feeling that yes, the kids are learning the important part of the game.

Good for you dude - great attitude - the kids are feeding off it and learning a lot more thqan just futball, they are learning life lessons! You should be very of not only the fine young players on your team, but also yourself.

Wow, I haven't updated here in awhile and now the session is over.

Two weeks ago they lost by 2 points and were pretty dejected. The parents were furious and it sparked a little bit of a storm at the club. I stayed cool and used it as a learning lesson to the best of my abilities. The team we were playing was "missing a couple kids" so the coach asked me 5 minutes before the game if I would make him forfeit or if I would let him borrow kids from the previous game to fill out his roster. I, of course, told him to get the kids together and let's play.

He didn't grab kids from the game before us. He grabbed 4 kids from the game that had finished outside. The 4 kids he used were all really good club players, including their keeper. Oh, and he did have enough players since he had 5 on the bench by 3 minutes into the game. Oh well, that isn't what made the parents mad. They were furious because 2of the players (twins) he had borrowed are well known and really really dirty. They are coached that way by their parents. The dad is a complete knucklehead who stands on the sidelines before the game screaming at them to "get pissed, kick ass, and take 'em out if they get in your way!" Freaking moron.

Anyway, the game was really tight and my kids stayed with them the whole game. The twins were taking my kids out left and right though. Unfortunately some genius scheduled 2 really young kids as the refs for the game. They were supposed to have a seasoned ref to train them, but somehow that didn't happen. There were some really nasty fouls out there but the ref's were afraid to blow their whistles. The parents really started howling when one of their players knocked the ball out of my keeper's hands with his own hand and then kicked it in. A foul for a number of reasons, but the ref let the point stand. Shortly after that Lil Lookout shot it and hit the keeper right in the nose with blood splattering. LL had the ball back and was about to tap it in, but chose to stop and take a knee since the ref's hadn't blown the whistle. Good sportsmanship. Unfortunately the ref gave the ball to the keeper after the restart instead of returning possession to LL. My kids were pretty frustrated. Lil Lookout usually scores his points and then drops back and works for assists, but the other kids couldn't get it past the keeper so they would feed the ball to Lil Lookout whenever they'd get it. He made some great shots but I didn't realize til after the game that he had again scored all but one of our eight points. He was getting bruised and beaten and finally ran out of gas with about two minutes left. Then it happened.

I guess I should mention that LL is extremely girl crazy and insanely protective of all girls. And he has a temper that I'm doing my best to harness. One girl on our team, L , has a huge crush on lil lookout. He has a huge crush on another girl K. Well, one of the twins took out both girls with really nasty off-the-ball fouls in a matter of 10 seconds. Both girls are down on the ground and the ref doesn't blow the whistle. There are only about 20 seconds left in the game and Lil Lookout, who is exhausted, sprints across the field at the twin who has the ball and I just knew it was trouble. Lil Lookout is only 3'9" and 41 lbs (with no sense of self preservation)and the twin has a good 20 lbs on him, but that didn't seem to matter as LL ran up and dropped his shoulder and slammed the twin into the wall pinning him. At the same time he threw his elbow into the kids stomach hard enough that I heard the "Ooooof!" from across the field. As the kid hit the ground LL spun around with the ball that he had just won and kicked it straight at the kid's head and screamed loud enough for all to hear, "YOU DON'T HIT GIRLS!" With that done he turned around to walk off the field.

I was really expecting some negative repurcussions but all the parents in the stands started clapping and whistling. Hmm. Not behavior I want encouraged. Lil Lookout was embarrassed and ashamed and ran off to cry. I pulled him back out and he apologized to the downed twin.

The buzzer goes off, we lose. The kids did our normal post game cheer and handshake.

Not a great week but definitely some important lessons in perseverence. And yes, I dealt with Lil Lookout's behavior at home.

Saturday was our last game as a team. We practiced really hard on Wednesday then had our pizza party. The kids were nervous going into the last game because the team we were playing had the 4 "tough" players we had played the week before. We worked on playing smarter and what to do when the twins started fouling them.

DE and D are my two most solid defenders. What they lack in technique they make up in heart. C is a natural defensive midfielder. I worked with them on wednesday and reminded them on saturday about a couple ways to take care of the twins.

I started with my strongest defensive line up with those three back and Lil Lookout in the goal. DE and D did exactly what I taught them. The big move that the twins have is to lean hard on the defenders and then hit them with their elbow as they try to get the ball. Throughout the whole game DE and D would let the twins lean up against them but would just step aside as the twin swung their elbows, causing them to fall. Neither of the twins scored in the whole game. I showed them how the twins would bump the ball too far in front of them and then run up on it. During the game my kids would let the twins bump the ball out in front but instead of trying to steal the ball and dribble away, my kids would just put their foot behind the ball and the twins would trip over the ball due to their own poor technique.

All but one of my kids scored in the game. The one who didn't was my one defender D who I couldn't get to play any other position all session. He asked to play midfield. That was a huge step. For me that was as good as scoring a goal. Lil Lookout stopped a shot from the other team while in the goal and instead of kicking it out like normal, he dropped it at his own feet and dribbled the full length of the field and tapped it in with a backheel. He scored another with an impressive left foot strike. My girl who doesn't really do much managed to head a ball in for a goal. The ref's actually called fouls! That always works in my team's favor because I spend a lot of time coaching clean play. We scored 3 points off free kicks. Everyone was involved and having a blast.

Because of the treatment my kids had received from this same basic set of kids the week before I didn't put the leash on them and they just kept scoring. The final score was 23-1 and I don't feel bad at all. My kids gave their cheer and shook hands after the game. They were all so pumped at beating the bullies, I couldn't get them to sit still in the locker room, so we picked up pizzas and took them to the park for pizza and trophies.

After a bizarre start to the season we ended up with a record of 7-2-1. 1 of the players has to move up to the next age bracket and 2 are taking a session off so we won't have the same group together anymore. Player evaluations are tonight and then it all starts over again next week. Hopefully we have as much fun next time around.

Good job, coach. :notworthy