What do you do when...
 

you have a crush on a straight, slightly homophobic, taken senior who's way out of your league (his daddy's a rockstar) even if he WASNT all those things?
(answer: probably NOT go on a trip to London with him in less than two weeks, I think)

Probably would want to avoid sharing a hotel room on said trip.

DEFINITELY go to London! Social barriers often come down away from home. If the opportunity arises for you to express yourself, be discretely candid. That way, what happens in London will stay in London if that person has any character at all yet doesn't reciprocate. Nothing ventured ... etc.

How good of a judge of character are you?

well, going to london is pretty much a sure thing anyway... its just probably not exactly the ideal thing to do, in this situation.
i dunno though, we're okay good friends. we're actually playing a gig together tomorrow night, and i might be casting him in a play i'm directing in May (and he may cast me in his, i dunno).
I don't wanna tell him how I feel though. If he figures it out... well, i can't help that. But i'm not going to tell him. He'd be weirded out. Not like, disgusted or anything, but definitely weirded out. And he's like seriously in love with his girlfriend (and theyre really cute together, too... he's really sweet to her), I wouldnt want to get in the way of that even if i could.

It is always prudent not to share your feelings with people who are happily taken. It only makes things awkward.

What Clodfobble said. If he's taken, gay, straight, or bi you'll only create awkwardness for you both. If you value him as a platonic friend at this point then don't mess with that. Crushes come and go, no harm no foul. But (no offense intended) high school guys aren't well known for handling awkard new situations with grace, the guy would probably not know how to deal with it if you laid your cards on the table.

yeah, and um i already agreed. I dont wanna tell him.
any advice for what i... should do maybe?

you agreed to go to london?

Put an ice pack on it and deal with your unrequited love. The crush will come and go. If it is more than a crush then you'll have plenty of time to do something about it in the future. Don't risk the heartache of ruining your London trip and the rest of your school year (plays) by trying to create something out of nothing. The dude has a girlfriend he's into. He is, at least at this point, outwardly homophobic. There is less than a 1% chance of him dropping the girl in your favor and 99% chance of souring friendships for you.

Unfortunately for your feelings this is one of those situations in life where doing nothing is the only thing to do.

bri: yeah, ive been in on the trip since like... september? october? its a theatre trip with like 20 of us plus the theatre teacher here (and the choreographer/co-director of the musical we did in the fall), and he's going on it too.

yeah, no, i'm totally with you on this one. i'm definitely not going to do anything about it in relation to him.
i more meant... any ideas for how to um, soften it a little bit while i wait it out?

really right now its not so bad. he's just such a nice guy, its really kind of nice (and definitely a lot better than this whole caro deal... im so ready for that to be over, for better or worse) the only real time it gets to me is when i see him with his girl.
but i'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, cause i know its coming. and its gonna hurt.

In my experience there is nothing you can do about a crush other that tough it out in public and swoon about it in private. I used to kiss my crush's listing in the phone book, hmmmmm....

I find it helps if you have someone you can obsess about him with. Got a close friend who can keep a secret?

Either that or convice his girlfriend that MMF threesomes are the greatest thing since sliced bread.


I jest. Don't go that route dude.

I have a guidebook on how to make threesomes happen (in any combination) - it will become your new bible.

At just the right moment, go for the kill. It'll be like the ending of Y Tu Mama Tambien (sp?).

You do exactly what you are doing.

Recognise it's a crush, pour your heart out to your friends who would/could never betray you to him, then dry your eyes and get on with it.

On the road of life there are drivers and there are passengers. If you choose to be a passenger, the best you'll be able to do is complain about the scenery. Still, until you get a driver's license, you can play with the radio and immerse yourself in the music. During your trip to London, immerse yourself in another of your fellow sightseers and try to enjoy the ride.

Clever people call it substitute behavior and prefer it to commiserating with others as a coping mechanism. I'll just have to take their word for it: I'm a driver.

Just wait it out Ibby. Enjoy his company when you're with him. Stifle the jealousy when he's withhis girl, as best you can. Ride it out, because however deep the crush is it will eventually fade if it isn't reciprocated.

SO um. I've been cast as the lead in his paradox play, and he's one of the three main characters in mine. Oh, and we played a gig tonight and it went really well. And he confided in me about how much charlotte (yes, Her) pissed him off sometimes when she took him for granted and stuff. We are not, however, rooming together in London (and i dunno whether to be relieved or disappointed).

In other news, I wrote another play today, cast all the parts in my play I'm doing in may, worked out a lot of what I'm gonna be doing for free time in London, and played a really successful gig.

...things are really going pretty well except for the whole "I'm failing two classes" thing.

It sounds like you are having the time of your life! :)

Sounds like a great time! Enjoy every second of it Ibby!!!!!

If I were the lead in a play with a man I had a major yen for (and he was taken) and he was one of the main characters in said play, I'd go mad with want and lust and yearning. I'd become morose, isolated and possibly psychotic. I'd then put on an award winning performance, be offered major roles, and refuse my one shot at fame because "my man" belonged to someone else. I would be too busy planning my spin into addiction, anorexia, bipolar disease, heavy tatoo parlour patronage and PEOPLE photog opportunities to take my shot at being a great artist.

Is that your plan, too?

Srsly, I don't know how you do that--I'd be nuts by now. Not boil-the-bunny-in-the-pot nuts, but pretty darn nuts.
good for you for being emotionally more mature than a woman three times your age (or maybe it's just twice your age, I dunno.)

good luck, young man. Heartbreak is worse than plumbing problems.

Having worked a lot in the theatre dept. when i was in college, all I can say is "padded jock strap"! The theatre dept hosted a performance of the play "Marat...Sade" and there is a LOT of body contact in it. All the male leads wore padded jock straps to cover up any "reactions". ;-)

1) Listen to Sheldon. He da man.
2) But I'd have the same reaction as Bri.
3) Can't wait to meet you in London, rah-rah-rah.

Wish I was meating him in London. hahaha

Careful, he is a kid.

Damn! I hate when that happens!

Wow...
um, hi shel ;)

Give me a call in 10 years. hahaha