The Dick Slit
 

Before you get your hopes up, I'm not talking about a nectareous part of the female anatomy. When you're drunk on St. Patty's Day, you go with the first term that comes to your head. What I'm talking about is the opening in the front of men's underwear that we can use to thread our members through for the sake of relieving ourselves. Anyway, this basically turned into a 3 hour shouting match, but in between the suggestions that the opposition participates in alternative lifestyles, two sides emerged.

One side is the group of guys that thinks that since the dick slit is there, guys should fish their dicks out through the slit and then pee. The other side is the group of guys that thinks that's too much work, so they just pull the elastic down and free willy from the top. The first side was accused of having small members, too much time on their hands, and an anal-retentive nature if they insist on using the dick slit. The second side was accused of being one step away from doing the 5-year-old boy thing of pulling pants and underwear down to their ankles when using the urinal.

So anyway, who's right? Is the dick slit necessary or unnecessary?

I don't know, sometimes it gets in the way of the butcher knife.

I leave mine hanging out of the dick-slit all day long. It's easier to whip it out when I need to deposit my male jelly.

You needed to put an option for "who cares as long as they hit the target, rather than the floor, wall etc" :right:

Only once...

BTW Flint waaayyyy too much info in that post

Don't you have problems with tripping over it all day?

I've always thought it was silly. Too much work.

I don't think Red uses it, but he says he can't pee with me watching, so I'm not usually in the bathroom at the same time as he is.

TMI? My wife wants to hold mine whilst I tinkle. I don't even think I could go like that.

Depends on the style of underwear. With boxers, it's much faster to unzip the fly and fish it out through the slit than to pull the pants down a little. With briefs, the opposite is true. Wearing a belt factors into it as well.

i'd say glatt's got it.

he's got the right stuff, baby

you know it

Awww thats so cute

Yeah. I agree with the belt factor, it depends on how dressed up you are. That's the only time I use the slit, I don't think I've used it since the last wedding I was in and drunk at. The type of underwear doesn't change anything for me. I exclusively wear boxers, but they all tend to have a stupid little button to keep the slit closed. That would be yet another step keeping me from relief.

Yeah, that button is stupid. I never use it.

I don't see the belt as a factor. You still have to unzip your pants... nothing prevents you from pulling your waistband down at that point.

Of all the boyfriends I have seen take a piss, none of them have ever used it, on briefs or boxers. It honestly surprises me that some guys do, although I can see it being useful when you don't want to untuck your shirt/undo your belt.

Dick Slit? Didn't he play for the Chicago Cubs back in the 70s?

How so? How would it be useful? Your belt isn't connected to your underwear. I fail to see the connection.

did you ever notice that the title of the thread you have open appears on the title bar on IE?

so...when you hit Alt + Tab and browse through your open IE windows, the thread title appears on your screen?

So.....when you have a customer at your desk and you go flipping through looking for the one you want, and they're paying attention to what you're doing.....and The Dick Slit appears.....you get to find out just how red you can turn, and how hot your ears can get.

yeah.

How can you pull your pants down if you are wearing a belt?

To pull your pants down, you have to:
1) undo your belt by pulling the tongue out of the loops, undoing the buckle, and feeding the tongue all the way out of the buckle.
2) unclasp/unbutton/unsnap your pants
3) unzip the fly
4) pull everything down
5) lift it up and out and over the elastic waistband
6) hold on to your pants so they don't fall down, or kind of stand with your legs spread apart so they won't fall down.

To use the fly, you have to:
1) unzip the fly
2) fish it out (fishing it out can be a problem if you have briefs on, or if your shirt tail is really long and in the way, but with boxers it's normally very fast.)

Eh, at least you weren't responding to the Transgender Second Grader thread...

WTF are you even talking about?

Unzip your pants. Pull down the waistband of your underwear and piss. Or use the slit, whatever.

Nowhere, in that process, does whether or not you are wearing a belt become a factor. Pants have zippers.

OK, your belt is on a treadmill that is going the same speed as your, er, unit...

Hallo... new here... dickslits????? Sorry all I can picture is them winkies falling out of the hole. lol

Not if they're button fly.

Don't make me go all-caps. 'Cause I have some shit that's so upper-case it'll give you a black eye when you read it.

And zippers scratch.

HLJ, he's gonna pop a cap in your eye.

No. But our accountant was just here. She just let out a big sigh after passing my screen and now it makes sense........great.

I use the slit exclusively. Especially at work where I wear 3 shirts and 2 pairs of pants, plus boxers.

It's much faster for me. Unzip, fish it out, relief, tuck it back in, zip up. Flint's method would have me trying to get two shirts tucked back into two different layers of pants with a belt on.

You work as a homeless guy? I've heard the pay's good.

No, the pay sucks, it's the benefits that are good. Completely subsidized all-you-can-eat dumpster buffets, for example.

Why would you untuck your shirt/shirts in the first place?!
I didn't say anything about shirts, or belts, or while we're at it, shoes. You don't have to take your shoes off, either.

Apparently they earn well round here -I guess it would be classed as tips rather than pay, though.... I bet the tax returns are a bugger.

i'm developing a picture of flint's beltline being closer to his armpits than his hipbones. and what's that in his shirt pocket? a pocket protector? is that tape on your glasses? masking tape? you couldn't find any color matching electrical tape or glue? Is that dandruff on your plaid shirted shoulder? when's the last time you washed your neck? and why do you smell like moth balls?!

(we join the previously scheduled joke already in progress)

"...what the string is for. I get it now. But how do you get it back in?"

"I don't know about the other waiters, but I use these tongs here."

I'd like to know why you need to un-buckle your belt,
or un-tuck your shirt, to get something out of this opening:

Meatus==necessary*




* Urostomy patients (and women) are exempted.

Flint, who are you arguing with?

All of you stupid motherfuckers. Or anybody who will listen...

Nice drawing, by the way.

Thanks. I remember that you complimented my illustration of a p-trap as well.

And...isn't the dick slit a kind of a "pee trap" after all? So it all comes full circle...

I thought the slit was to avoid trapping the pee. Sort of the anti-trap.

Although the way some of you aim, that might be advisable. Or wear those plastic covers like the have in ORs

I work in a dairy warehouse. It's kept at 34 degrees, and it's often wet, thus I need insulating layers.

It goes like this: Boxers, long sleeved polar tec t-shirt, lightweight exercise pants, long-sleeved crew shirt, uniform pants, hoodie, uniform shirt (has my name tag and such, they like it on the outside). The polar tec shirt is between the boxers and the exercise pants, and the crew shirt is between the exercise pants and the uniform pants. If I try to do it any other way, I either get chilly breezes, or the shirts come untucked and/or discombobulated.

Therefore, if I pulled the boxers waistband down, it would un-tuck part of my polar tec shirt, and then I'd have to fix it all.

Plus, it's just faster to fish it out through that hole.

You might be better off (and warmer) wearing a diaper? All the cool astronauts do it....

I wonder if not being circumsized makes a difference. I'm a roundhead and my brother in law is a cavalier; that is I am circ'd and he is not. I noticed that if I use the bathroom after he has he leaves the seat down. I asked him about it once and he said it was because he has to use some tp to wipe off afterwards so he just sits down. He also said your aim is harder to control if you are not circ'd. So does anyone out there who has not had their thing snipped have an opinion on this?

FWIW I wear thong style undies so there is no slit. I just undo my pants, unzip and pull the leg whole to the side and pee.

Think about it. Boxers are effectively set up the same way as regular shorts/jeans, whatever. The purpose of avoiding using the dick slit is so you don't have to go fishing around for your unit and pull it out through the hole. But if you don't unbuckle your jeans/belt, you might as well just use the dick slit because then you're still going to have to thread your dick through the opening you just made with your zipper. And even if you chose NOT to do that, then you'd have to thread your dick over your belt buckle, and then we'd REALLY have aiming issues. Nope, not for me, I'm an unabashed open trouser urinator, much more liberating, let the boys breathe the open air a couple times a day.

Or the seat. That really pisses me off. For fuck's sake, learn to aim or learn to lift the lid.

flint's(Melvin's) technique only works if you have your pants pulled up to far.

I've never had a problem with the flap until recently. It seems like they add more and more material behind the flap so it's hard to fish my junk out. This really sucks when you're in a hurry. I have to reach nearly to my left hip to get to the end of the flap and then have to go back to get my junk. Much quicker to pull down the band in this situation.

*groan*

"Roundhead" v. "Cavalier" is a new one on me. :D

Thought you were supposed to withdraw that foreskin before you let the stream go, though. That's what I used to do.

And here I thought this thread was about meatuses. Meatii. The little slot in the end.

Some of my boxers don't even have a button fastening the front, and I still don't use it.

From a female standpoint, I certainly like briefs on how they look when they fit well and sometimes it's fun seek and find so to speak.
Boxers on the other hand. Yum, let it all hang out. puhleeeze.

You just don't bother anymore? Or you were circumcised later in life?

Converted Orthodox Jew?

Gender reassignment surgery?

Really bad accident using a circular saw whilst naked?

Newfound complete disregard for hygiene? Otherwise known as "turning hippie"?