High School Graduation Party Etiquette?
 

Your help please, merkin dwellars....

We know nothing about this -we're Brits. But we've been invited to two this year. What is polite form? One is an all day open house, the other -I think- shorter hours evening. The first is a daughter of Beest's colleague (cow orker) -we were all shipped out together, but don't really socialise much. The second is a girl at the summer pool -now the assistant coach on the swim team. we've known her for three years, but only see her in the summer really.

So presents? If so, approx value/equivalent value compared to -say- a birthday party present for a 10 year old? cards? how long to stay? etc? Any sensible advice appreciated. beest will be the judge of sensible, so enter the silliness zone at your own risk....

Typically the present is money, or a gift card. A real present is possible if you really know the person's taste, but for the most part it's just like any other contrived party, like a baby shower or wedding shower. The amount of money really depends on how well you know them--pretend they're getting married, and spend what you would spend on a wedding present for them.

An all day open house is kind of a weird party format, IMHO, but what do I know?

a card and a small gift--say, a gift certificate to Amazon to count toward college texts--if you don't know them well. How much depends on your budget and circumstances. A bigger and/or more personal gift if it's someone close to you.

How long to stay at the party? You're going to have to use your own judgment on that, based on how friendly you are with the family, and how good a time you're having. With an all day open house, an in-and-out hour or so, or even less, is okay.

Would the above be much different from British customs?

nothing says 'congratulations, you're growing up' like sex toys do!

whaddya mean 'shipped out'? were you forced to move to America?



seriously, a card with a $50 in it.

$50 is nice if you can afford it--$25 would be okay, too. If it's likely to be a smaller celebration, try to be generous, but if there are hundreds of acquaintenances invited to the party, those smaller amounts add up.

If you don't want to give money or a gift card, you could try a gift of a book, which would have meaning to you or the young person in transition from one stage of life to another, with a personal inscription. Your gift would probably stand out from the crowd that way.

Show up drunk and naked, they won't remember whether you brought a gift or not.

We don't have Graduation, therefore no parties. In fact after babyhood it is highly unlikely that parents will invite any (non family) adults to a party for their offspring.

So it's a new area for Brits.

In the UK 'Graduation' is what you do when you complete your university degree. Secondary School (high school) is something you leave rather than something you graduate from. Likewise college.

What are the two young people graduating from?

US Americans are purty much dun wif lirnin so we gradgitate.

I've found that old and new family friends get invited to graduation open house parties. Maybe it's for the gift, but I've always enjoyed these get-togethers.

Money or gift cards are great...especially if the graduate is heading to college, and you don't know what they need. Gas cards are much appreciated these days.

Personal gifts are nice...but I don't think most people expect you to figure out what to get. I do, however, love Cloud's idea of a gift book.

Send 'em $20 in a gift card and wish them well. If you don't want to - then don't go. You won't be missed.

Alternatively, a gift certificate to a piercing studio, for that right-of-passage piercing!

Seriously, kids in the UK don't celebrate getting out of secondary school? Is secondary education mandatory there? It is here, so perhaps it's a celebration of relief that they are no longer "required" to attend school.

Rights of passage are VERY important to commemorate!

I'm also with classic on $20 in a gift card.

A party such as this is a great opportunity for a single person to perhaps meet some other poor sap who felt obligated to go (not you monster and beest.) Ahem...:p

Sorry, my "look on the bright side" has not yet dwindled from the other day. I'll be back to my old surly self shortly. :lol:

We can leave school at 16 by choice. If you leave at 18 you have completed 2 voluntary years of education.

Schoolkids celebrate leaving school, end of exams etc with their peers if at all. It's just not a formal occasion.

Also, exams are at the end of the summer term and those sitting them - 16 and 18 year olds - don't attend daily school. For example my last day in school was June 20th, my last exam July 11th. I didn't see many of my classmates from June onwards. We had a Last Exam get together, but only those taking History came because no-one else was in that day.

Those were the best of times: grad night at King's Island, Senior Skip Day (sanctioned by my parents and my friends' parents...we went to Brown Reservoir for a day of swimming) getting a cute spring dress for graduation party, senior prom, awards banquets, looking out the classroom window towards the fields and trees those last few warm days dreaming of your future. Sigh, I liked high school, even if that makes me a nerd.

I had an all-day graduation party, with a progressive schedule of stops scheduled at several of my classmates' houses; pool party at one; barbeque at another; dance at another. My house had dessert.

At my 6th grade graduation!

We won't even get into the preschool, kindergarten, middle school, etc. "graduations" that are cropping up.

lol!

I am totally with you here. I missed High School after leaving. College quickly made me realize how much more was out there and all, but still...

(cruising off topic) I missed out on my kids' graduations, since they didn't graduate. (One went back after a couple of years and got her diploma; the other got her GED).

In my school (private girls' school) we wore long white dresses and carried bouquets of red roses, in lieu of cap and gowns.

My mother made mine, because she thought the available white dresses were too fancy. I was so mad.

My wife's high school also used white dresses for the girls. She re-used it, with the addition of a veil, as her wedding dress.

We just had a 'leavers' party': a school disco where all the school leavers are invited. I remember it being very exciting. I remember planning for weeks what I was going to wear (along with my best mate). I remember smuggling in alcohol and the teachers turning a blind eye...

But very little formality to it.

Just a tip - if you do get a gift card, go for Target or Wal-mart. I know with me, all the money I got went to buying things for college. I paid for every single thing that went with me except the computer my parents had bought me earlier in the year for my b-day.

Thanks y'all. Yes nothing like this in the UK. And if there were, really I don't thinks gifts would be expected. Only at birthday parties and weddings. I reckon we'll go with bookstore giftcards. One is likely to go to college in the UK, the other i'm not sure is going to college, but you can get fun and serious stuff in bookstores and I can't quite do the cash giving thing, its too..... erm.... well, not what I was brought up with. Appreciate your input.

I agree; I wouldn't give currency either, unless it was to a family member. Gift cards are a bit more acceptable.

I got cash and checks mostly. Granted it was close to 10 years ago, but it was fine with me.

when in Rome.... Give 'em the green.

Maybe I'm just one of those ice-cream licking public bite takers, but I wouldn't say that a graduation announcement requires attendance or a gift, unless you are very close to the family. Birthdays and weddings are about it.

It's hard to shake the social mores you grew up with. The only people (peversely) it is acceptable to give money to as presents is your own family. usually only applies at a distance from older to younger generations ie Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles who live in different cities. From anyone else it is considered a sign that you don't care.
Oh dear. The future Mrs HM has her work cut out for her.

She'll be bringin' in all this frilly frou-frou crap, like furniture, and dishes. Nah, we use paper plates around here. -Carl from ATHF

Graduation is one of those rare occasions, like a Bar Mitzvah, where cash is a socially acceptable gift. I would never give cash for birthday, wedding, shower, etc., but for graduations and Mitzvahs, always. The only time I give something personal (in addition to the cash) is if I know the person well enough to give a meaningful gift.

Unless the recipient is a student, in which case word might get spread round the fam that money is desired. Even then I am not comfortable with it. My niece wanted money for her birthday, as she and her friends were planning a big shopping trip the weekend after....so I gave her £20 but I also bought her a little gift, a cd she was after, because that way I'd actually got her something that was thought out. But lots of people, including cousins gave her money. I recall it being a topic of conversation.....none of us felt entirely happy giving money instead of gifts, but that's what she'd asked for so.....

When I was younger, money for pressies was really something that only came from grandparents, aunts and uncles and usually came in the form of tokens rather than actual spondoolies. Generally they were Book Tokens, occassionally they were the more flexible WHSmith vouchers.

I used to love those. There was something profoundly satisfying about counting up the tokens and odd fiver in a card. Then off to the book shops to buy books....glorious.

We always got cash from our rellies in London. And I agree, it was so exciting to open cards and see more money than you had in the previous 6 months sat there in front of you. We were never greedy kids, but there was a sense of What, no money? when you opened some cards.

My Dad was the youngest brother, so we got quite large amounts from our two uncles. Well, large for 8-12 year olds - Mum made us save it for when we went on holiday, and it made a big difference to them because we could pay our own way in the amusement arcades, and buy a portion of chips on the pier etc. I do wonder if it set the pattern for me getting pleasure from blowing large wads on money on trinkets though! :)

Its called *Schoolies Week* in Australia.

Mostly, at the end of Secondary School education, kids are around 18 years old, thats legal drinking age. So off they trot to write themselves off for a week.

Typically, thats heading to Surfers Paradise (Queensland), but with the police/media attention that has been attracting in recent years, school leavers are heading off to alternative destinations.

Wow, graduate and legal drinking age all at once. now that's cause to celebrate!

Graduation parties, at least all the ones I've ever heard of around here are mostly put on to gather money for the grad. Most of the ones I attended had a "college fund" jar sitting out, so if you wanted to slip some cash into that during the party you could...along with hopefully money or gift card filled cards for the student.

I used all my money on stuff for my dorm, and later for my books and it really helped (don't believe I had a jar at my party) ...right now I couldn't name off one actual present I got for graduating...

Nope.

My party was really cool though! I can post photos if anyone wants to see...mine was in early fall, just before I went back to school. It was supposed to be a luau theme, but it pourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrred outside terribly, so we had an impromptu monsoon party. It was great :D

They all want cash. Depends on how well you know the family or kid. Ours is graduating and the tradition is to send out graduation anouncements. Close people will send money back. Others will just throw them in the trash. Buy a graduation card and stick some money in it and give it to the grad.

If we don't know them well we give them $25, If we know them well and like them, $50. If they are family or people who were really close to us more, $75-100.

Yes please!

I'd want an IKEA gift card if I were graduating from anything...

Speaking of graduation, I went to an 8th grade graduation the other day (very popular in Illinois) and one of the kids was picked up from 8th grade graduation in a limo. I thought that was a bit much.

Celebrating 8th grade graduation with anything more than a handshake and a summer job application is a bit much.