Quick Tips
 

Always wear waterproof mascara to your intervention.

If you've had a dicky tummy all day, don't think you can fart with abandon.

Brush your teeth before you get on the treadmill - or pick the one way over in the corner.

whenever you're at a loss for words say, "that was a wicked googley!" and people will think you're smart or foreign or both.

Don't re-tell the joke if you were the only person that laughed at it. They heard you the first time. It just wasn't funny.

Dial soap (bar) gets makeup stains out of clothing.

I'd ask you who was bowling, and if it meant India were all out yet.

quick q-tip
 

I guess you're not supposed to stick q-tips in your ear?

Don't try to rip off your hangnails.
And don't forget to moisturize!

When changing the oil in your car, replace the oil drain plug before pouring in the new oil.

When getting up during the night to pee, make sure the door you thought was open is in fact open before trying to walk through the doorway.

baking soda mixed with liquid soap makes a great cheap exfoliator

Does it actually exfoliate or just deep clean and remove all the oils from your skin?

Do NOT drop heavy objects directly onto your toes. It HURTS. You will limp for days.

Do NOT try and Mix 3 part epoxy Grout if you do Not know what you are doing !!!!

Expensive and MESSSSY !!

Quick tips?

if you want quick, DIY. Only bother me when you have time ;)

when photoshopping, use the layer feature a lot.

Can't afford new pro software? Search for the previous release on eBay. A "new-in-box and unregistered" version from four years ago may have all the features you need and yet be a third the price of new.

Many programs have a good open-source equivalent (like The GIMP and Audacity) available for no charge.

When making a pasta salad, always refrigerate for 6-8 hours before serving so that the flavors can blend.

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when storing in your fridge. It will keep weeks longer!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To test to see if an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it's fresh. If it floats, throw it away!!

White toothpaste can be used as spackle for small nail holes. If you don't care about the future residents of your dorm room.

toothpaste can also be used to polish cds if they get scratched

it's scratchy. that's exfoliation to me.

Tuggeth thou not upon Superman's cape. Neither shalt thou spiteth into yon wind. Pulleth not yon mask off of Ye Olde Lone Ranger.

It goeth without saying that thou shalt not messeth around with Jim.

Unless its LJ...then hammer on!

Sweep your carpet with a long handled dustpan and brush rather than hoover when your landlady's son is asleep. Correct.
Leave the binbag open to put the sweepings into. Correct.
Leave the binbag on your bed because you're sweeping the floor. Hmmm, risky, but understandable.
Have a complete hand spasm when transferring the sweepings into the binbag and therefore transfer stray cat litter, bits of bone (from messy cat eating) and toenail clipping directly onto your CLEAN sheets. Incorrect.

Learn by my mistakes people.

Always always ALWAYS ask for help when moving a large, heavy kitchen table with a gimp leg (the table, not the mover)

Do not leave a bag of trash on the back porch for even 5 minutes when you live in critterville. Raccoons will make short work of your trash, and bare it for all the world to see.

Don't forget to set your clocks back on Saturday night.
And check your smoke detector batteries.

DST back - my favorite holiday

There is a statistical decrease in heart attacks the week after DST back. Of course, there is an increase in the spring to make up for it.

So it's just delaying the inevitable by a few months.

Don't schedule doctors appointments on Halloween. mmm'kay?:D

I have an appointment with my new GP on election day. That's going to be fun. :D

Don't use power tools to carve pumpkins. ITs way too much fun :D

why?

is it the extra hour sleep?

Plus, if you forget to switch in the Fall, the worst that happens is you're an hour early for something. If you forget in the Spring, you're an hour late. Maybe you're fired, maybe you miss your grandma's funeral, who knows?

I'm going to start setting my clock back an hour every Sunday - just to be safe.

Just what the fuck we need... an extra hour of 2008. :(

I've never seen:

Psycho

The texas Chainsaw Massacre

saw

The exorcist


tits! wrong thread! i meant to put this in here.

What about:
Picture Mommy Dead
Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things
I Spit on Your Grave
Last House on the Left
Don't Look in the Basement
Sorry, Wrong Number
When a Stranger Calls
What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? or
Lady in a Cage
?

When executing a double lift, be sure to give the cards a little bend so that it looks more like a single card.

Never underestimate the importance of seeing her daddy dress up in a costume in making your daughter's Halloween complete.

Yes. That one extra hour reduces stress enough that you can see a dip in heart attacks. But in the Spring, losing an hour increases stress enough that there is a slight bump in heart attacks the following week.

Houses never look as good in person as they do on the internet.

If there is no picture of a certain room, you can be sure there's a reason. You won't like it.

For the love of God, people, eat a vegetable now and again! It won't KILL you!

ETA: a NON FRIED vegetable. No ranch. No bleu cheese. Pah-LAYNE.

Is bacon a vegetable?

I feel like we've had this conversation.

I'm really just spanking myself. I think it's been...oh...two months now since I ate properly. Granola bars, chocolate riesens, Burger King...feelin' the old pudge sprouting over my jeans. UGH.

I always have such a hard time getting them out of their wheelchairs, though.

Photos?

Nonsense. Those heart attacks are caused by old geezers suddenly getting an eyeful of all the young lasses gadding about in their skimpy new spring fashions. Die happy, fellas.

Here's a quick tip.

Don't try walking down the hallway while cleaning our ears out with a cotton bud.

It really hurts when you misjudge the wall and your elbow and poke your eardrum.

If the power socket isn't working, try flipping the switch on the wall that it's connected to. It'll save you a lot of time and frustration.




Yes, it took me twenty minutes this morning to realize that said switch had been turned off and that is why my sewing machine wouldn't turn on.

Some other quick tips.

http://www.georgetiemann.com/prodimg...s/105-0410.jpg

Looks like some kind of medieval bar code system.

they're surgical blades. If a doc says he wants an "eleven" blade, then you get that one, etc.

I read that as "elven" blade. Great, just what I need, a D&D-playing surgeon. "Nurse, get me the d20. I'm going to roll a saving throw against sepsis."

LOL!! I just saw this...srry..

coke ... nose ... screen ... laughing ... laughing.