Cellar Predictions 2009
 

By the end of 2009 the economy will be reported as doing better. Call it the ouiji board effect. The journalists will start subconsciously looking for and reporting good news as soon as Obama is sworn in. Wall Street being run by the bat shit crazy will follow with a year ending rally.

Journalists will start looking for and reporting good news as soon as Obama is sworn in.

monkies will fly out of my butt.

In 2009 there will be no shoes flying at our president. At least not after the 20th.

In 2009 California will have another large quake spilling thousands into NM, so I can be irritated, not just some of the time, anymore.

Michelle Obama will get pregnant

Yep. One more for the welfare mother.

Oh...wait...

Cellar Predictions - you do mean make predictions regarding the Cellar, right? Okay, in the best Mystic Meg tradition, here are mine.

In 2009 we will get a noob who will rock the whole board and set established Dwellars at eachother's throats.

Someone's good luck will make the tip jat overfloweth in two separate months.

Case will get another Cellar commission, one which will have real significance to the purchaser's children in years to come.

Someone who probably doesn't deserve it will get some very bad news. And someone who probably does deserve it will get some too.

The colour blue will be the Cellar's lucky colour this year.

One of the long term single people on the board will find true love. It will grow very slowly, but by the end of the year he/ she will be in a lasting relationship. In fact it will be another Dwellar asking a pointed question about how often a certain person is being mentioned that will make the Dwellar aware of how important this person has become.

A beloved pet will be ill, but will recover.

The letters l, g, and a will become significant for one Dwellar.
As will the city of Phoenix.

Oh and all Dwellars should watch out for feathers in March. It's not quite clear, but there will either be a feather related injury, or something serious which involves them in some way.

My crystal ball must need to be sent out for cleaning, I didn't see anything about feathers, I thought I saw brown gerbils. Hmph..oh well. :rolleyes:

At least one Dwellar will give birth.

I predict, it won't be me.

A dwellar will...

lose their job
suffer a broken heart
get a STI
travel overseas


possibly even the same one

Yeah. I called that 1995. Ha!

Does it have to be in that order? Reverse order would be quite plausible.

Didn't you do those things last year?

fuck off....I didnt get itchy bits OR travel overseas :P

I predict Big Sarge will show up after the beginning of the year and feel bad for making everyone worry.

i thought an STI was a Subaru. We call them STDs over here.

http://www.spoilershop.com.au/front/...WRX-sti-01.jpg

The current President-elect will be assassinated after he takes office. Three days later he will return to life. Rev. Warren will begin espousing the virtues of the sovereignty of the President. The President will bring peace to the middle-East, then to the world. Then a large portion of the population will disappear in a blink of an eye. The world, and its new leader, will agree that aliens have abducted the “poor souls” that have been taken from the world. For the next seven years, many events will unfold that will be unnervingly similar to the book of Revelations in the outlawed publication called The Bible.

I love fantasy.

In 2009 many dwellarites will find that their dollar buys less than it did in 2008. :rolleyes:

Unless of course they're spending their dollars on UK items, in which case they'll get considerably more.:P

Down under GM is called Holden.
Their sports sedans/muscle cars are often branded as Holden Special Vehicles or Holden Racing Team, and so the letters HSV and HRT are often found on personalised number plates, T-shirts, stubbie-holders, key chains etc.

I always want to ask if HSV actually meant Herpes Simplex Virus, and HRT Hormone Replacement Therapy. :D

It does look like it would be a fun car to drive. :cool:

Prediction: I will be banned from Brianna's House o' Pleasure; un-banned; re-banned; re-un-banned; un-re-banned; re-re-banned; and un-un-banned.

Dude, you will be on report just for posting that.

You're banned because you called it House O' Pleasure! It's House OF Pleasure! What am I, some filthy-laced Irish wench right out of Tallaght?

Out, out, Philistine! (and your coupons will be revoked)

That's racist!

Anyway, there's no-one as Irish as Barack Obama.

I have no knowledge about, or opinion of, the cleanliness of your laces.

I haven't been OFF report for years. Decades, maybe.

Yeah, we used to call them STDs too, but some genius decided Sexually Transmitted Infection would be kinder that saying *disease*

yes, because kindness will keep a cock from falling off.

I predict I still won't be able to afford a house in the Los Angeles area in 2009.

I predict that Iran will have several "accidents" at all their nuclear weapons projects before January 20th.

Psychic predictions for 2009 ...

I think that Iran is going to be a hot spot, although if it's in a nuclear sense, I'm not entirely sure.

Pakistan and Afghanistan will be relatively quiet, but something is going on originating in Saudi Arabia, in terms of some large scale terrorist event, probably of the WMD variety, to occur in the United States, probably in the Midwest, to really shake the feeling of invulnerability that we usually have.

There are going to be a lot of internal struggles on the African continent, more towards the East. Most of this won't reach beyond the invovled countries' borders.

Somebody taking shots at Obama is so expected it barely qualifies as a prediction.

I predict the sun will rise and set each and everyday. There will be a few visable full moons.

And there will be at least 2 major natural disasters that will kill thousands. Happy new year.

Cellar Predictions (concerning "Regular" Dwellars) :

one dwellar will get pregnant, three will impregnante someone, one of those four will be under 20 and not so happy about it initially, and one will be a "later in life surprise" for a couple in their late 30s or 40s. Or maybe even 50s :eek: Three dwellars will welcome new grandchildren. 6 dogs will be adopted by dwellars, and one dwellar will acquire a very unusual pet.

One dwellar will get their 15 minutes of fame on TV, one will feature in a local newspaper and two will be mentioned on the radio, although it's possible that one of those will be making a request on a local country station.

Two dwellars will storm off in major hissy fits, one will be a dwellar of old who will return, and one will be a noob who becomes a regular and then decides that LJ hurts their feelings and is a bully.

Radar, Sundae Girl, Undertoad, Ducksnuts and three others will get an important new job

Urbane Gorilla (;)) will not post a pic of himself, but a female dwellar who has resisted vociferously so far will post a VNSFW pic of themselves.

Three pairs of dwellars will meet IRL, one meeting will be awkward and there will be noticeable repercussions on the board.

46 screens will get sprayed with coffee; UT will add a SCF smiley.

Clodfobble, Griff and Undertoad will publically lose patience with another dwellar (not all with the same dwellar)

labrat and HLJ will both get an early hattrick in the 2009 Hall of Fame, but both Shawnees and another, male, poster will dominate that thread

4 dwellars will suffer from self inflicted knife wounds, one will break a limb and piles will be an unwelcome arrival in the lives of two dwellars who have never previously suffered from them before.

One Dwellar -maybe a new one, the ball is getting a little cloudy here.... will post a picture of their (clean) arsehole in the RFN NSFW thread. it will be removed and debate will ensue....

One dwellar will lose an incredible amount of weight and post awe-inspiring before and after pics. One dwellar will get plastic surgery and will not be happy with the outcome. the good news is, after posting pics on the cellar, the resulting discussion will lead to them changing their mind about what they actually wanted in the first place and then being very happy with the result. Five dwellars will have suspect moles removed and one for cosmetic reasons only, four will be benign, but not the cosmetic one. all outcomes will be good in the end, although two dwellars will be unhappy with the scarring.

Two dwellars will spend a little time in the nuthouse. The ball is unclear as to whether one of those is wolf.

Two teetotal dwellars will fall off the wagon, two drinkers will give up.

The Abortion debate will be big this year. Also the Political Correctness /Racism debate. there will be less interest in threads about American Soldiers overseas and word association.

Equipment/Power failure outside of UT's control will take the cellar down for at least 24 hours. there is an 85% chance that Radar's subsequent comments will lead to his finally being banned. The tip jar will overflow this month.

Cellar Lurkers will unite and will take over management.

or...

I'll hit 200 posts.

Is this the "goes without saying thread"?

look, Mystic Meg throws in a good deal of the obvious too -makes you believe all the other crap. and besides, you don't pay me enough for truly imaginative predictions. Anyway, just wait a couple of days before you really go to town about this, then I can check one off the list ;)


.....looks like beest jumped the gun too, and broke his toe. not exactly a limb, though.... :rolleyes:

I predict men will not change toilet paper roll.

and that monster will get beaned with a frozen leg of lamb.

I predict that the world will explode, but not until we have all succumbed to poverty, disease, and reruns of I Love Lucy.

gee, thanks.
....do I get to keep the meat? That stuff's pretty pricey over here...

I predict at least one of us will lose a parent...and one of us will find love.

Wuz tryin to be funny. Fail.


(wuz refer to ronald dahl story 'Lamb to the Slaughter') stoopit of me. :blush:

Maybe just failed to beam me and the joke followed the lamb straight over my head? :lol:

I predick I'l finish this bottle of oh shit soorry wrong tread

You made me laugh. ;)

I'm not a 2009 noob, but a late 2008 noob (recruited by Elspode) who hasn't really gotten out of lurk-first mode.

I could try to think of something really provocative to say -- give me a few months.

i predict that a little less than half of the people you meet will be above average.

Well hello Estron. Nice to meet you:)

I would appreciate it if you put some thought into the thread discussion next time. :D

Are there two Shawnees?

Now I'm frightened.

And 2009 is here.

There are at least 123 Shawnees.

I doubt the world could handle two of me. :D

lol 123...reminds me of that bit about "the second to the last of the Mohicans."

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!!! Hey everybody!!! Get over your stupid hangover!! Have a happy happy!

:hearts: Me, me, me!!!!Me, me me :(Me. Bolding - I hope.Babba? I get it. Dani will too. It's what I did.
Made me smile anyway.
I'd offer to send you $10 for every correct prediction, but you'd only tell me off ;)

I predict the world will explode and be replaced with an exact replica, in the precise moment of enlightenment. So all will go on as normal, and no one will will ever know... except the crazy girl in room 1406, who is actually sane, but because everyone else on the planet is ignorant and missed enlightenment, then she gets branded. go figure. We should all drink the water.

meg's got nuttin on Monster!

Is Mystic Meg still going? I haven't been back for over 6 years and I'm not sure I even watched the lottery then...

I could handle three of you. but not 123 of you. That would be greedy of me.

She's still in the News of the World and I would assume the Sun - I used to read the pub's copy of NOTW every Sunday.

She hasn't been on the Lottery in years though. They have guest presenters and singers and all kinds of hoo ha on there now. The regular host is an ex Blue Peter presenter. Clean cut and handsome the way they tend to be (Richard Bacon being the exception that proved the rule).