Sterilization
 

In honor of Mother's Day, ha ha ha!!!! I thought I'd pose this question here, because collectively it seems the Cellarites know everything, and I would like some personal advice.

Me and the hubby are both 41. We have two children, and judging from the fact they're now 13 and almost 11, we seem to be pretty happy as parents of two. That's all we planned to have. Yes, I am a planner; both times we said "hey, let's get me knocked up," and we did, down to the very month we chose. :)

Every now and then I get a little "twinge" that it might be nice to have another baby - but it is short-lived, because I am truly enjoying the idea of getting on with the rest of my life. I think it's not so much that I want a baby, it's that I feel sad to have that part of my life over, and to no longer say "well, maybe someday."

But facts is facts. Hub and I are done reproducing. I've been on the pill since I was 15, with breaks only for conception and delivery. Now it's the mini-pill because it's easier on those of us who have hypertension issues. I'd kind of like to stop taking it.

Hubby agreed to "get snipped" as we say. He agreed to this in theory, and was going to do it about three years ago during a vacation week but instead we ended up moving that week! It's not so much that he disagrees with the concept, but actually getting it done seems to be difficult for him. He says he's not scared, but I know he must be. He's got three friends (at least) who have done it and assure him it's fine, but there's another who says he's never been the same, regarding both performance and sensation. I dunno.

Now, last time I went to the doctor for my annual "girlie" exam the doc told me about this thing called Essure that will sterilize me without surgery - no invasive "get yer tubes tied" stuff. And now I'm thinking I should do that -- it seems easier for me than it would be for him, if only from the POV that I'm used to doctors poking around my genitals -- from my various reproductive experiences -- and he is not. This is some IUD-like gimmick they insert and the tubes close up around it, resulting in permanent sterilization.

I mentioned it to him today and he seemed a little offended that I would offer to do it instead; perhaps he will have a need to be the strong one and do this chivalrous act. OTOH, I find that I want to spare him the trouble, if only because I know I can deal with the minor discomfort it is supposed to cause and I don't have to worry about work schedules.

There is also a little worry that this Essure thing is fairly new, vs. the male vasectomy stuff they've been doing for quite some time.

Advice appreciated.

I don't know--"Essure" still seems invasive, or worse. Apparently it's supposed to create scar tissue that blocks everything up? That just sounds wrong.

Looking on wikipedia, it says it's a form of IUD, and those things do carry a risk of puncturing you. IMO, It seems safer just to have the tube-tying procedure.

Sounds fraught with potential downsides to me Juni. Like blue, I am a little uneasy about a procedure that's supposed to provoke scarring to prevent funtionality. *shakes head* personally? I wouldn't go any where near.


[eta] also, how guaranteed is it to prevent conception? A good friend of mine who has a coil (I think) had an ectopic pregnancy two years ago. A cousin of mine, likewise, had something along those lines happen to her in the late 90s.

Honestly, I wouldn't let the idea of "scar tissue" scare you away. Scar tissue is just natural collagen fibres, and there's nothing dangerous about it. Although I agree it still seems a bit odd, realize that it's been on the market for seven years and I can't find any stories about any dangerous side effects, only ones about how it failed.

Just make sure your gyno has performed the procedure before and I think it would be safe. Also, it costs in the $1000 range, so it might be good to know if your insurance is going to cover it or not. Although I don't know if insurance usually covers vasectomies either, so it might not matter.

Good luck!

Juni, no one I've ever talked to who had a vasectomy has reported problems, and I know quite a few. This one person could have other issues. I did a quick look around on the net and have not been able to find many advices of complications other than this routine information:

http://www.urologychannel.com/vasect...ications.shtml

There was also an article about slight psychological issues such as an almost mourning for the loss of reproductive ability (understandable, maybe akin to what women feel in menopause) but I would think that would pass.

I don't know. It seems that you have been dealing with the contraception responsibility for all this time: if he's willing to go through with it, I think you should let him. It's the least invasive and therefore less risky choice.

It's possible that there is less anecdotal evidence of post-procedure problems, because men are less likely to go and seek advice for it. Also, I have heard of isolated cases of problems like those mentioned (loss of sensation etc).

The truth is there are risks to any such procedure, for either you or your fellah. There are risks in the pills you've been taking.

Tell him to get off his butt and git r dun. The one buddy that's claiming it's never the same needs a psychiatrist.

My husband had it done about 8 years ago and has had zero problems. Juniper...let him do it.

snip snip.

It makes more sense for him to do it because it's less risky for him. I've done it, and it's no big deal. You don't even need stitches anymore. Having said that, 90% of sex sensations are all in the head. So if your husband's head isn't in the right place regarding this, he may find he's got problems. They won't be physical problems, but they might be just as real. If he willing to do it, let him do it, but I wouldn't push him.

We do it at one place where I work. What do you want to know. You can PM me if you want.

Juni, I just want to remind you of something you said in your opening post:

I'd say the highlighted line is the most important thing there.

You all are right. Logically I know this, it is his turn and he'll be fine. But he wants ME to make all of the arrangements for him, because he just doesn't do that sort of thing. And I feel terribly guilty about it, as if I'm making a vet appointment to get my dog neutered. Yeah I know, different procedures, LOL! It just feels pushy and selfish. I can just hear him saying to his buddies, "my wife made me the appointment so I had to go..." which sounds a lot worse than it is. If he would make that phone call himself, I could deal with it better!

Just make the call. Its probably easier for HIM. I had mine done about 10 years ago. I'm very happy and have had ZERO issues.

But don't you see, that's the perfect macho cop out. The guys will all nod in agreement and understand he didn't give up his manliness willingly. He should, however, tell you to go ahead and make the appointment... he doesn't have to tell them that. ;)

My husband had his done 8 years ago. Before I met him. He has had no issues with it at all.

Except that now he wants to get it reversed!

:eek:

I met a guy the other week that has had it done and reversed....3 times!!! 2 different wives, weird, he doesnt seem to see it as a problem, except for the $8k he has forked out the last couple of times.

Just install a goddamn valve already!

:lol: that would be a neat solution

Don't forget that you still need protection for up to a month post his procedure and then he still will need a sperm count prior to having sex unprotected. I have seen more than one person show up prego because they didn't wait or check.

You thought you were joking, didn't you?

Look for it being marketed as the "Down-Under stop-cock". :lol:

My husband had a vasectomy after our youngest daughter was born (at 38, and after 2 c-sections, I was DONE going under the knife!). Not only did it not cause us any sexual problems, but not having to worry about using birth control actually jazzed up our sex life.

Years ago I saw an article about how they could install what amounted to a tiny stopcock and let the incision heal. The doctor would have to make another incision to turn it back on if you changed your mind, but it could be done and cheaply.

That radio controlled valve would just be begging to be hacked by evil genius pranksters. Instead of copying your key fob in a walk by rfid sniffing session, they would be making you fertile again, without your knowledge.

I was just thinking about what may have been the same article. There was a really fabulous picture of the teensy weensy gold? valves, so I'm guessing it was in Life Magazine or something similar.

(weird how recall works, sometimes, but I'm also remembering that the tiny little guys were photographed balanced on someone's fingertip)

I would never be comfortable with this... if I had it done I'd need to get full-blown snippage. (My wife had her tubes tied after the second kid.)

There is a laproscopic version of a tubal now... it is an out patient procedure.

I had the real deal when I had my C-section... have never looked back... glad I did it all in one...

We basically had a bet going to see who was getting fixed... C-section... me... natural birth and Flint would be sitting on ice packs... you already know who lost. Flint was relieved...

When I had mine done about oh 15 years ago, I was told about all this pain and ice and blah blah blah - Missed two days of work - the day I had it done and the next. No big deal, no ice no killer meds. It was done laproscopically and that was it. Three small incisions. I was "back in the saddle" in less than two weeks.
No one should fear the scope - The nurse who shaved the "area prior to surgery - YES, but not the scope.

My ex-husband got a vasectomy, and for a couple of years afterward had a severe shooting pain in his testicles at ejaculation... and then a few years later a friend of mine had it done and experienced the same thing. It's not a common side effect, but it is a documented one, and something to be aware of.

I have an IUD. This is my third IUD, and I'm really happy with it overall. However, my youngest daughter was conceived on an IUD that had been in place for two years, so I'm well aware that there is a possibility of failure... it's simply that this is the best option for me right now.

:lol:


Sorry.

So you should be Zen *stern look*

*ashamed*




*giggles*

So anyway, a woman is talking to her neighbour.

"I have to be really careful not to get pregnant" she says.

"Why?" asks the neighbour "didn't your husband just have a vasectomy?"

"He did" she replies "that's why I have to be really careful!"