Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Well?

Because I roasted his boneless thighs with honey and rosemary.




Seriously, it was quite tasty.

Hitler was on the other side.

Because someone drove on the shoulder, and squashed him there.

It marched to the beat of a different drumstick.

Attachment 23753

85 % of it is directly traceable to bean counting MBAs in senior management playing money games.

The chicken tried to cross the road, but he was on a treadmill, and all of a sudden he took off and splatted into the broad side of a Bentley.

The chicken couldn't cross the road because the Russians were bombing the other side of the street....


No wait...sorry that's Chechen*





*shamelessly stolen from Lee Mack

Because he looked both ways and there was to much traffic. So he waited. And he still waits.

Why doth the chicken wait?

Because he saw what happened to the pelican crossing.

because it's mother was hit by a car on that very same road on 9/11.

zzzing

Because the chicken
All out of love and grotesque
with hatred of her
missing cock
Who had once loved her and
Lamented the frolic
of days past
by the road, the river of drink, the mountain of meth
So she slammed him in the head with a shovel
To his hurt and glee

Jaysus Christ, have you been stealing material from tiki? Coz, baby, that's some heavy SHIT.

I was gonna go with Undertoad (Godwin's Law be damned) but now I change my answer to Shawnee because I'm afraid of her. :thepain:

pssst, I was lampooning.

Good, Flint. Live in fear, live in fear.

fer the love of all mankind, WHAT were you lampooning? I MUST know! It's...brilliant!

pssst: it was my version of 99 Laments, for the chickens, Grendelchicken, of course. You were right in your initial comparison. ;)

"Raise your hands
Raise your voice
Give the chickens
Another choice"

*bows*

I may not be a poet, but I know my poets.

:)


wonderful fun.

I changed my user title, too, Shawnee. I am co-queen, after all.

Yay! :)

I'm also the Lady of Lampooning Laments.

I fixed my title, we're co-Queens, no use me acting like I'm one better. :lol:

fixed that for ya :rolleyes:

I wasn't invited, but as I have a strawberry tattoo I figure I MUST have been Strawberry Queen at some point, right?

I get left out of all the really cool stuff! I have no strawberry tattoos or anythin!


*grumbles*

I'll just stick to being English.




[eta] I actually really liked Tiki's poetry. Yes it was self indulgent, and yes she seems to be very enamoured with her own suffering ... but that's often a good basis for poetry. Not usually a great basis for a relationship...but makes for a good poem.

I started reading it, and liked it. But I couldn't get over the fact I thought she was rude, so I didn't want to compliment her. In the end I decided the easiest path was not to read any more, so that I didn't feel too hypocritical. Moral coward here.

I didn't like it much. Easy to replicate, as shown by chickens. Just my opinion, mind you.

Dana, you can be a co-queen as well! I LOVE IT.

Tiki's poetry was the only thing of value that she offered to the Cellar, and she deleted that thread. So there you have it.

It was a play on Spinal Tap "one louder."

Sheesh, my humor is lost too often. ;)

Really? That many people liked it?

*grabs pencil and runs to room*

"I'm Tiki, I was more in love than any of you will ever fathom, I will never get over it, so I'm going to continue to drown in it for as long as you'll have me, and when you tire of me, I'll go do it somewhere else......in my cowboy boots and choir robe."

Too bad. She was a decent poet and I liked hearing about her gardens and chickens.

Exactly: self-indulgent, easily replicated, a few decent lines. Eh...

eh - there's enough crap going on in the world without having to read about her self absorbed bullshit - - -
it rhymed,
some of the time,
I gotta give her that,
but she took it all back.
I really don't care
given neither or both?
I'd rather be spared.

Because he was afraid Barney Fife would ticket him for jaywalking.

Because he was afraid Gomer would make a citizen's arrest.

...because it was too chicken.

If it'd been less chicken (and more dog for example) it probably would have crossed the road, but it wasn't, so it stayed on this side. :)

Because it was at Jinx's/Jims house eatin veggie tacos and drinkin corona - would you have left just to cross the stinkin road?

Oh thats the second time tacos have come up. I want a taco...I really want a taco...

Damnit, do I have to change my signature line?