So here's the story
 

I wasn't quite sure how to start this thread or exactly what I wanted to say for a number of reasons, so it's just going to be a bit stream of consciousness.

I've been having some problems with Max almost right from birth. He has great difficulty feeding, and even now it can take over an hour to get him to have even 200 mls if he'll even have that much. By this stage he is supposed to be having over 1200mls/day, but I'm lucky if I can get 800mls into him, which is why I started him on solids a bit early (41/2 months), in the hopes that I could sneak formula into his food and he'd get a lot of his nutrients elsewhere. So anyway, it has worked somewhat, but it's still a stuggle every time it comes to feeding time which is of course about 5 times a day. I've tried all different combinations of formula and teats. Nothing seems to make much difference, so we struggle through with the one that works the least badly. To add to this difficulty, he has some movement issues. He strongly favours his left side, and doesn't really move his right side all that much, and certainly not the way he should. My brother works with one of the worlds premier cerebral palsy experts (who is unfortunately based in Prague) and because of this relationship my brother (who is a chiropractor by profession) who specializes in rehab therapy and in fact has a masters in the subject suggested that there is some cause for caution and that Max needs to be monitored. He has also given us a range of excercises to do with Max which should (hopefully) help develop those motor skills which are slightly lacking.

So anyway, all this has obviously caused me some stress (espeially the fighting over feeding) and that coupled with a husband who works a lot of hours and has even less luck with feeding the baby, has really made me feel quite isolated. Like I'm in a situation that seems endless. I mentioned about the memory blanks and things that I've been having, and on top of that, I've had a number of other emotional issues to the point where I've nearly lost the plot completely and it's been getting worse.

So, I went to the doctor yesterday. He says I've got post natal depression, most likely brought on by the ongoing issues with Max, so he's put me on medication do manage my moods and he's given me a referral to a pediatrician to try and get help with Max's feeding and to discuss the movement issues and where we go from here.

So that's the story.

Your story probably isn't that uncommon. Are there any support groups to get you out of the house? Try to keep your husband engaged at home without being too hard on him, lots of guys retreat into work when things are tough. Be strong lady.

Actually, when I explained all that had happened at the doctors yesterday Dazza suggested maybe he should quit his job and we'll sell the house and just live somewhere cheaper and he'll work from home. He's quite supportive but he's still a learner parent, so not really 'up there' in the skills department. I think he should keep his job though. I'm sure things are going to be better now there's some action happening, and the last thing I personally need right now is the stress of trying to sell a house.

eta: thanks for your thoughts Griff. I'll be sure to stay strong.

I think the fact that you went and sought your doctor's opinion and help suggests that you've probably 'bottomed out' and are likely on your way to getting through it (in terms of the depression and feelings of isolation) Hope things get less fraught soon honey. *Hugs*

lol...I suppose you could call it bottoming out if you're tossing up between walking out on your family and popping a handful of pills. Actually, that wasn't really a lol so much as a wry half smile. But yeah, if it gets any worse we're all in big trouble.

Well...I can't answer for your situation, but I doubt the depression will get worse. The fact that you're talking about is, I suspect, a good sign :P

I'm sure once I get help with Max's feeding everything will seem more manageable. Hopefully that'll happen some time over the next month or so or sooner if I'm lucky. The first pediatrician I tried has a 6 month waiting list and isn't even taking names at the moment. I told the receptionist my son might be dead by then without help. Probably not the right thing to say, but I was upset. Anyway, the GP is trying to find a ped who doesn't have such a long waiting list, although in one way that's a bother anyway. Maybe a doc with a short wait list isn't any good. It's a dilema.

can't you go the the ped he had when he was born?

The only ped he saw was the day he checked out of hospital. Besides that it was all midwives and nurses and obs.

It's probably a different set up over here. If you go through public you just see the resident before you're allowed to leave the hospital. Anyway, it's just a matter of getting the referral from the GP and going along.

so he's not registered with any ped right now? What about aiden and mav? (hope I remembered names correctly)

Nope he's not, and nor are Aden or Mav (nice work there). I guess it's just a different system over here. You go to the GP and if the issue is something specific or ongoing, then it's referred to a ped, particularly if you don't have private health cover. I've never had any reason to consider taking the older boys to a ped. They've been healthy as horses and ahead of the game in most areas of development, so it hasn't been necessary.

I hope you hear some positive news soon Ali. :(

oh right. more like the UK, then. bummer. can you get your GP to expedite it?


eta ignore that i see you have

what about non-profit orgs? anyone there you can get on your side?

can your brother help?

Thanks Clod. I don't think this is the end of the world. Personally as his mother I think he's just going to need a bit of physical therapy, which as I've mentioned he's already getting thanks to my brother. It's more the issues with feeding that have brought matters to a head.

I'm not sure what you mean by this. I'd like to know though.

He has been very helpful so far, and he's actually heading over to Prague next week (or the week after, can't remember now) so he's going to bring the camera over on the weekend and take some video to show the doctors over there and at least get an opinion on what they think of his movement. From there, the expert doctor (can't remember his name right at this point) is due to be in Australia next March, so I'll take Max to see him in Sydney if he can spare me 20 minutes then, and Don (brother) seems to think he'd do it as a favour to him.

usually set up by parents with similar issues -support groups and the like. do you have Craigs List there? You can often find them that way.

Grr i had this all typed out and my damned PC restarted on me.
take 2:

Ali, Sorry ot hear this is giving you such a shithouse time of it. Big hugs :)

Have you contacted any maternal/ baby health centres? these can be really great. they have teams of experienced health care professionals to assist.
They even have stay over rooms so you can go and get some respite care.
They are run by the council in each Australian state and you can be put in touch with your closest one by calling your local council and getting the contact details.
It will be called parenting/ baby health centre/ infant and mother health centre or something like that. different in each area. All the "new parenting" stuff is probably not relavent for an experienced mumma such as yourself but the Infant Feeding Support Programs may be of interest to you.

Keep your chin up :)

also you could try the parents hotline - the QLD number is 1300 301 300 - they have lots of support and info on parenting, babies, children, and can put you in touch with local agencies.

I did a quick search of your area (from your profile it says brisbane) and i found this:

community child health clinics

Community child health clinics, operated by Queensland Health, provide a very valuable free service for new parents. Clinics are located throughout Queensland. This section broadly describes the services available through Community Child Health around the State. There may be slight variations in the exact services offered from clinic to clinic. Services available include:

an initial health check
regular appointments and check-ups at your chosen clinic
courses in parenting
free childhood immunisation clinics
specialist services when you need some extra help
help and advice over the telephone

All these services are offered free of charge to Queensland residents.

regular check-ups
You will be given your free Queensland Health "Personal Health Record" booklet for your baby in hospital after the birth. This will be your complete history of your child's health and development as well as a vaccination record.

checks at 2 months, 4 months, 6 months, 12 months, 18 months and older or as recommended by your health care professional

parent groups
Parent education sessions are usually run as a course at most child health clinics. Topics covered may include feeding, playgroups, baby massage, development, injury prevention and sleeping and settling. The courses are extremely informative and also offer an excellent way for you to meet other new parents in your area. Many a playgroup has been formed this way. To find out about dates, call your local clinic. Groups are run free of charge and are available to all parents even if you choose to take your child to your GP for your regular check-ups.



courses in parenting
Triple P - Positive Parenting Program aims to take the stress out of parenting and make parenting easier by providing practical answers to everyday parenting concerns. It assists parents to build positive relationships with their children. Community Child Health Services offer Triple P courses free of charge at local child health clinics throughout Queensland.

free childhood immunisation clinics
A selected number of clinics offer regular free childhood immunisation clinics. If your usual clinic is not one of the immunisation clinic locations, you are able to take your child to the nearest available location. For more information on childhood immunisations, see the immunisation section of this website.

specialist services
The community child health service may also operate Infant Feeding Support Programs. These clinics offer parents of new babies support and education in parenting skills over a day stay. Appointments are usually made by referral from your child health nurse. Clinics are free of charge.

The Ellen Barron Family Centre also offers a residential centre which is located in the Prince Charles Hospital, Rode Rd, Chermside, Brisbane. The centre provides parenting education and assistance with particular childhood concerns for children under 2 years and their parents. Appointments are made by referral from your child health nurse or Paediatrician. The centre can be contacted on (07) 3139 6500.

Early Feeding Support Clinics
Alderley Child Health Clinic, Shop 4, 24 South Pine Road, Alderley
Kallangur Child Health Centre, 126 School Road, Kallangur

The Early Feeding Support Clinics are "drop in" clinics, open from 9am- 12noon, Monday to Friday (Closed on Public Holidays). Mothers with new babies are eligible to attend for up to two weeks following discharge from hospital. After this period parents are required to make appointments for follow up support and advice at their local child health clinic. The clinics are FREE and are staffed by qualified Child Health Nurses working for the Community Child Health Service, Royal Children's Hospital & Health Service District.



13 Health Line
There is a free 7day-24hr information and advice line staffed by registered nurses.

ph: 13 43 25 84




clinic locations

Please note that centres have different operating hours and some may not be open daily.

Details of clinic locations throughout Queensland can be found via the Community Child Health Service website or by consulting White Pages under the heading Queensland Health - Community Child Health Service.

For clinics in the Tweed Heads (NSW) region of the Gold Coast, look for Early Childhood Health Centre or Community Health Centre.

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Queensland Health Community Child Health Service
13 Health Line (24hrs)
> ph: 13 43 25 84

I've been a pediatric nurse for years and I wish we lived somewhere close where I could see him and try to help you! It's hard to help over the Internet but it sounds like he needs to be seen by a pediatric neurologist.

When you say he has difficulty feeding, what do you mean exactly? That he can't latch on? sucking is weak? he refuses to suck? he gives up after a few seconds? he throws up immediately after? (not to be confused with a little spit up. I'm talking gusher.) does he have trouble swallowing? I assume you've tried various nipple types?

Is he gaining weight?

Keep in mind feeding problems are very common in infants and usually resolve themselves with no need for drastic medical intervention.

Thanks Sunny, I might give them a call next week.

Tawny, wouldn't it be nice if you were closer. Might solve all my problems. :)

Basically a feed goes something like this:

We sit down in his room. Once I walk through the doorway we don't talk anymore, at least, I don't talk anymore. I get him settled on my lap with the bottle and put it in his mouth. From there he starts to 'chew' up and down and make noises in his throat which stop him from sucking. I've lately (over the last few days been looking away from him when he does this and it seem to stop him 'talking' somewhat, so then I look back at him again and we continue that process for usually anywhere up to 15 minutes) When he does start to suck he often seems to have trouble actually sucking hard enough to get the milk to flow until he's starting to doze off and that's when he starts to suck hard enough, but usually this wakes him back up again the first couple of times at least so we have to go through the process of getting him sucking again. Thankfully the subsequent times are usually fairly quick though. When he finally does get going, he usually only has about 180mls per feed, so he's really not having anywhere near what he should be.

He gained weight quite quickly over the first month and a half, but from there it's been a fight all the way to get his formula down, and yes, I've tried numerous combinations of formula and teats.

I should be seeing a ped sometime in the next month and hope to have him checked obviously for any minor mouth deformities (not that I can detect any, but I'm not the expert), or gut problems. Maybe he has faulty valves in his oesophagus or something.

He did have reflux when he was tiny, but that seems to have abated more or less over the last two months or so. He was a great power spewer. Now we just have the odd spit up which is nothing more than a wet burp imo.

I sometimes wonder if maybe his stomach has never stretched out as it should or something. I just can't figure out where I'm going wrong. I've minimized his distractions and we stick to the same routine more or less constantly unless we're not at home and even then I try to stick to it as much as possible. I know it's been a bit of a spiral for us both over the last few weeks though. I've started to tense up every time it's close to feeding time, so I know that doesn't help. I hope that within a week or so I should be feeling more able to cope with things once this medication the doc has given me kicks in properly.

To be honest, I already feel a bit better just going and asking for help, and I appreciate the suggestions I've had here too. It's still a struggle, but at least I don't feel like slitting my wrists today.

So try not feeding him in his room and minimising distractions.

Try feeding him at the table with the noisy herd.

if you think his suck is weak, make the hole in the teat larger so less suck is required.

Believe me, I've tried feeding him with other people around and it's simply impossible. What we've got now is the best situation I've been able to organize.

I've already cut the hole in his teat much larger. If it's any bigger he might as well just open his mouth and let me pour it in. I actually think that it is the way he moves his tongue combined with (or which causes) the weak sucking action.

I've tried leaving him till he's practically starving to feed, but then it's hopeless because he can't settle anyway and ends up falling asleep almost immediately and if I wake him, he wont suck anyway. I can't get him to feed when he's not at least starting to get pretty hungry, so there's a pretty fine window of opportunity.

Trust me, I've tried everything. I've tried putting him in his cot if he wont feed then getting him back up a bit later and trying again in the hopes that he'll get the idea that the more he feeds the longer he can put off going to bed for instance (yes I know babies don't think along those lines, but they do get the idea in their own way).

The best feed of the day is the 'dream feed' I've been getting him up for at around 10pm. He basically stays in the 'twilight zone' and has a quick feed and back to bed. Only problem is, that's really only a half sized feed to top him up till morning. Thankfully he's more or less sleeping through the night now at least.

Sorry, just trying to brain-storm, just in case ...wasn't intended to criticize or imply that you hadn't tried everything you could think of or couldn't think of obvious ideas.

will shut up now and stop trying to solve everything. again.

Wow Ali. Just read this for the first time. Hope all is well. I would be very interested to hear what the Peds doc has to say. I am sure that the majority of your depression will mend as you deal with any issues with Max. Positive thoughts coming your way. Keep us informed. Always glad to lend an electronic 1s/0s ear.

A friend of mine once had to resort to something a little odd to get her kid fed (actually, the dad was the one who came up with the idea): you know how infant medicine bottles have the droppers in the top, and they hold about 1-2 ml? She used one of those to squirt the food in directly, one dropperful at a time. It's not fast, but then again, it sounds like feeding isn't a very quick process for you guys right now anyway. And it doesn't solve the problem in the long run of teaching him to suck properly... but I know that for her at least, it took away a big part of the stress because he was finally getting enough food in there, so at least she wasn't worried about nutrition anymore.

It's supposed to be possible to feed them while they're sleeping. I never needed to, but a friend of mine with a preemie did and it worked well for her.

So sorry Ali - I'm sure the lil guy will catch on eventually and start to "do his thing" One of my kids fed only once or twice a day and that was a fight. Then suddenly he took off and was hungry all the time. Eventually he ended up biting the teats off the bottles and sucking them dry in moments - not neatly either.
I dunno - I guess all I'm saying is perhaps its just a phase and he'll grow out of it. Hang tough. We're here if/as you need us.

There are a lot of nipple types out there and you could spend inordinate amounts of time and money trying them all. But you have tried a cleft palate nurser? or something called The Haberman Feeder?

I don't mean to upset you with what I'm suggesting, but his issues sound a lot like the problems cleft palate infants have.

I assume he has been evaluated for cleft palate and does not have this, however, one of the cleft feeders might help him.

How old is he today (exactly)? And how much does he weigh? How much did he weigh at birth? Was he full term? Did you have any pregnancy problems, like pre-eclampsia or extra amniotic fluid? (unless it's too private to answer in this forum, of course.)

It is very difficult to help an infant over the Internet. (I've never done it before.)

No it's ok monster. I really appreciate you trying to help. It's very kind of you.

Thanks Merc. :)

I've thought about that Clod, but I'd really like to try and sort this issue out if I can. For now I'll persevere, but if nothing else works I might try it.

He does feed ok when he's sleeping, but the most I can ever get him to take is just over 100mls, which is less than half what he should have in a feed. I do the dream feed thing at night to top him up till morning though. That seems to be working.

I'll keep my fingers crossed that you're right classic. :)

Yep they looked for cleft palate when he was born, and also during all his scans and he's clear for that. I've never heard of a Haberman feeder. Can you tell me more about it? (I'll have a look online in the mean time anyway)

Today he is 5 months and 1 week. He was born on the 15th of March. He weighs 7.5kg and he was 3.2kg at birth. He was 2.3 weeks early. I had high blood pressure (up to 180/120 and some protiens showing in my urine during the last few months. I was admitted once prior to delivery for monitoring, and had to go to the hospital every few days to go on the ecg (that's the right machine isn't it?) for the babys movement and heartbeat. It was all pretty normal. Usually around 140bpm and plenty of movement where the rate went up to around 165bpm.

I really appreciate you trying to help Tawny. You've given me at least one thing to look and consider so far. :)

Ali: not to make light of your situation, but every time I see this thread, I think -- "is it about a man named Brady?"

Thanks for that Cloud, you're not alone.


I have wanted to say something but I can't find the appropriate thing. So, :comfort: for Ali and :comfort: for Max.

He was a normal weight at birth and appears to be gaining weight okay for all the struggles you're having, thankfully. You're doing a good job with him.

There are various feeders developed for feeding problems and one of them might help your baby. You might try the Haberman but realize you could exhaust yourself trying all these different feeders and to no avail. Don't be discouraged!!

http://www.selfexpressions.com/habermanfeeder.html

just caught this thread - wow Ali. Hang in there. We know you're a smart, strong, loving mom and you'll get it figured out.

((((Ali))) and (((Max)))

I just wanted to try to alleviate some concerns, if possible. My middle daughter was 1 month premature and the nurses had a fit because she "wouldn't eat". They were used to a baby who would suck down 4 oz in 20 minutes and fall back asleep. Not my daughter! I sat in that nursery and rocked her and got her to take 2 oz in 3 1/2 hours. She was done with that 2 oz's right about when she was due to be fed again :rolleyes:. Basically, I did nothing but feed her with tiny catnaps in between for six weeks.

I worried myself sick when she was a baby, that she wasn't getting enough to eat. The pediatrician told me that as long as she was growing normally, she was eating enough. I made sure to always offer healthy portions and foods, even if she didn't do anything but pick at them.

She is now almost 14 yrs old and is and has always been tiny (but healthy). She is not even in the 1st percentile, growth wise, but is perfectly normally formed and very bright (honor roll consistantly).

Take care of yourself too, Aliantha. It's important!

As for his movements, that I would definately get checked out.

Thank you Stormie, I thought I was the only one! Hours to get ounces into her - she still eats like a bird, except for the occassional growth spurt - she's six, she's tiny, but she's healthy, happy and bright. You're not alone Ali.......

Thanks for all your support everyone. I've had some very useful advice, and things are a bit better now. We have our appointment with the ped next week so we'll see how that goes.

Max is still a difficult baby to feed, but I'm coping better with it now, so it makes it easier on both of us. Dazza has also been trying to help out a bit more which has been good. It has relieved some of the feelings of despair I'd been having about not ever being able to be apart from the baby for more than an hour or two. In fact, I'm thinking of taking myself away for a weekend soon. Just me alone...mostly to sleep and relax and 'commune with my spirit' so to speak.

...and to sleep, and to sleep, and maybe to nap a little inbetween snoozes? :P

I'm sorry I'm just now getting around to reading this.

When Flintsy was born he weighed 8 lbs... he lost nearly 3 lbs over the course of the next month. At his 18 month check up he still only weighed 18 1/2 lbs. We sorta kidded that he was lazy in those early days. He never seemed hungry and I had to keep waking him up to feed. Then he lost interest all together and the doctors kept telling us that he couldn't lose any more weight... wouldn't tell us what would happen if he did... and it really scared us. They had me pumping and force feeding with little syringes... ounce by ounce. I was very upset and never felt like that was a good solution. In fact... I attribute his small size and lack of interest in food (that is until lately) to this whole early day experience. He wouldn't accept formula or anythin from a bottle and while he would take the boobie... 2 min here and there just wasn't enough.

Finally, desperate... I called Le Leche League and was able to work with a lactation consultant to come up with new avenue to try. I wore him bare chest to bare chest in my wrap all day... I took baths with him... he slept with me and could nurse off and on all night. I cleaned his nose with sailine and used a bulb syrine to clean his nose out waited a few moments then offered him boobie. I kept music on in the room and the lights dim as well... spent a lot of time in bed with him. He has never really been on the charts at all... he might now at almost 2 years be in the 10 percentile... we'll see in a few months. The thing that helped me let go of my fear and concern that he wasn't doing well was the fact that he isn't anemic or vitamin deficient... and while he was a great deal slower to do anything compared to my daughter... now and not quite 2 he seems to be hitting all his developmental marks. I think my finally relaxing helped him to... I'm pretty sure he was picking up on my stress. About 3 weeks ago Flintsy FINALLY decided food was ok... and he put on 2 1/2 lbs in a 2 week period... seriously. I'm curious to see what he doctor says in December.

I can certianly understand your depression... I have been there. I'm glad to hear you will be taking some "Me" time to spend by yourself relaxing... in that time remind yourself that you are an amazing woman who is doing everything in her power for her child.

I guess the best I can offer is to say if he is gaining weight and not losing... that is a really good sign even if it isn't as much as they'd like to see. If you haven't contacted Le leche League I would certianly recomend it... they were very helpful and have a support group as well.

That's really interesting Pooka. Thanks for sharing that with me (and everyone else).

I had a checkup with the doctor a couple of days ago. He asked me how things were going and all that other doctorly stuff and after that I said to him how tired I was now. How I feel like I'm tired right through to my bones, to the point where if I have to hold Max while standing up for more than five minutes (I fixed this problem by buying a 'sling' for him to sit in that I can just slip over my shoulder) or so I get the shakes. So he asked me how long it'd been since I'd had a proper nights sleep prior to starting on the zoloft and I said it'd been probably 12 months or more.

He then explained to me how if you don't get enough sleep for long enough, your body builds up what is called a 'sleep debt' which basically means that the only way to feel better is to pay it back with sleep. It was a relief to know that that's all that's wrong with me. I was starting to get worried that I should have been feeling stronger physically after a couple of weeks of relatively solid sleep. Apparently it can take months to 'pay back' what you owe the gods of sleep though. I guess I now know what weary to the bone feels like. :D

So all in all, things are looking up. Max is a lot more relaxed now that I've stopped stressing out and his feeding is improving every day although we still have relapses when one or both of us lose the plot for a bit, but it's getting longer and longer between incidents.

Once again, thanks for all your support and advice. You've all been great.

Glad to hear things are heading in the right direction, Ali. Now, go back to sleep!

It's been over two months since I posted to this thread, and it might not be of interest to many, but there are a few who I'd like to keep posted of our progress.

Things are in general much better now than they were, but many days are still a struggle. We have more good days than bad now though, so that's a good thing. I've never really understood what having depression meant before. I find that some days I feel like I'm fooling myself into feeling good about things on some level, but then I think I'm just being a dick and things really are good, but then I have these thoughts about how it's all just an illusion. It's kind of like a vicious cycle in some ways...the awareness of how I'm feeling on a conscious level. I'm still pretty fragile in that it doesn't take a whole lot for the dark thoughts to come creeping back in, but at least now I know that I can get past it and that it will pass rather than previously when I felt like it would never end to the point where life really did seem pretty futile.

I've caught up on most of my sleep. I can even stay up past 9pm these days...just like a big girl! I went to my 20yr high school reunion a few weeks ago. That was a big challenge, but thanks to a few wonderful people, I was able to generate the courage to go, and I had a nice time. I didn't stay too long. It was a bit overwhelming, but I did get contact details for the important ones, so that made it worthwhile.

I've had some pretty serious back pain for the last couple of weeks, thanks to a calf I was helping my Dad out with. speaking of which, I had a close encounter with an eastern brown snake while I was there. The snake no longer lives. Dad shot it. I ran over another one in the driveway. There are a lot coming closer to people at the moment because it's so dry in the area. Hopefully they'll get some rain soon. I also got to see some ducklings hatching, so that was sweet.

Anyway, Dazza has been super busy. He's now on the board of directors for a government body that allocates funds for fisheries research, so that's good for his career, and he expects to be offered a job at a Uni in the next couple of days which will mean much less travelling and more time to work on private projects, so that'll be good on a number of levels.

All the kids are doing well. They seem to have all entered into a phase of peace and harmony with each other and with us as parents. The big boys have really been trying to help out and do the right thing, and Max is just delightful. He's 8 months old now and still has a few movement issues which suggest mild CP, but we're hopeful that working on his movement while the neural pathways are still quite plastic while he's still so young will provide him with the results he'll need to lead a normal life and enjoy sports and any other activities he might choose to participate in in the future.

So that's about it. I've been thinking about writing a book about our experiences over the last couple of years. I was going to call it something like "Here We Go Again". We'll see though. That will require a level of commitment I'm not sure I'm willing to give just yet. Maybe down the track a bit.

Thanks Ali, I've been wondering about you.

I think that's probably one of the best descriptions of the feeling you get in between bouts of depression that I've read in ages.

I'm glad you're finding things easier/less stressful now. Congrats to Dazza btw for the place on the board. And fingers crossed for that Uni job, as it sounds like he'll be around more.

On the book, maybe don't start it as such a big project. Maybe just start with random bits. Describe events or periods that stick out in your mind. Not necessarily with the absolute intention of them being a book, but just as an exercise in themselves.

I am glad you're feeling a bit better, Ali. I have been there - depressed, I mean, obviously, not Oz ;)

Thanks for the update, Ali. i think Dana has a good idea about the book/project. Look after yourself, and congrats all round to your fambly for getting on (in all sorts of ways!)

Wonderful to hear from you, Ali. ::hugs::

Yet another amazing woman in the Cellar - sounds like you're fighting the good fight on many levels, ad no matter how tough, you're getting through it.......good for you Ali. Nice to see you around.

Missed you, Ali, but I am glad to hear you are doing better. I understand the depression bit. :comfort:

Hi Ali - nice to see you back. Missed you.
You too Case!

I've been wondering about me too. ;)

I was thinking of starting off by writing it as memoirs and building it up from there. That'll leave plenty of room to move things around. Ultimately I'd like to present it as a book for people thinking of starting a 'second' family and the pitfalls and also the joys of such a decision.

There's nothing wrong with Brianna that couldn't be fixed by a trip to Oz. :)

I've been wondering where you'd gone to Case. I haven't even seen you on FB. I hope you're ok mate.

I would read your book, because we are considering it, too.

Thanks for thinking of me. :) I quit facebook a little while back, because it was sucking the life out of me. Plus, my husband's ex's ubiquitous presence was sickening. Otherwise, I am doing alright over here.

Good to hear from you about how things are going Ali. I reckon you should write the book at some point. As an aside, the lactation consultant I was telling you about took ages, I think, to write her book and hasn't had a huge amount of support from those higher up in the same field, but it looks as if it's starting to work out...perhaps not the best of comparisons as you'd be writing about something completely different, but thought I'd chuck that into the mix anyway. Hope that you'll keep on updating us.

I'm (slightly) sorry, but lactation consultant sounds like the silliest job title ever. I know, I know, there is a real need, but my inner blokey boof-head just want to yell "Just shove ya nork into the kid's mouth, he'll figure it out!"

Sorry. As you were.

Hi Ali. Nice to see you. I had been wondering about you but then I had not seen this thread before otherwise I would have known.

I wish you all the support and peace the world has to offer and I commend your diligence and perseverance. It sounds like Max and your other kids have a great woman to call mom.

Ali!
Missed you babe. And obv missed this thread first time round (sorry, I do generally stay out of the Parenting thread due to lack of qualifications).

A card is on its way to you and all your men. Just gotta get it together enough to queue for 20 minutes in the Post Offfice.

Glad to hear things are better. Not best yet of course, but that is still to come.

10 minutes with the person concerned and you will be convinced that the world cannot survive without lactation consultants. Apparently, (and not to make light of things at all...)it's the baby that needs to be trained and won't necessarily figure it out at all by themselves...all this, I only know from listening to the lactation consultant in question, but she is incredibly into her area of expertise and could probably get a doorknob interested in the subject.

It is amazing what those women (and I guess sometimes men?) know. I'm pretty sure Zen was just trying to be funny...and you know, we have to humour him right? lol

Casi does ... if she ever needs the photocopier unjammed... :D

[Pauline] Please Explain! /[Hansen}