Cheating even though you are happy.....
 

So as of late i have been getting a lot of attention from the women at my job. I work in a huge building with over 600 people and the majority are women. And I have been getting all kinds of offers to go bump uglies. I have even been offered a room paid by the girl all taken care of all I have to do is show. Problem is I am married(second time around) and I am happy with what i got. But its just so temping you know the thought of something new the strange if you will. Any thoughts on this......

"Trust is a one-time only offer"
-- Wolf

If you value your marriage and the vows you took, you will do the right thing.

And stop sending out the vibes that these offers are welcome.

Why is being married a problem?
Talk to your wife about this, it's important if you want to stay married.

Yes i know trust is one time only offer and i do value the vows that i took and i have not done anything. I dont believe I am sending out those vibes at least i dont think so. I do maintenance all around the building and help alot of them out when they have any issues with their desks etc. But i am just nice you know. I phrased that wrong being married is not the problem i just wanted to say that i am not single is all.

Thoughts? yeah. cheaters are scum. If you want to continue to be happy--don't.

If you've let the conversation get to the point that you know the room is paid for, you are sending out vibes.

If you keep these kinds of thoughts/conversations from your wife you are already cheating. If you're uncomfortable bringing this topic up with your wife, there's a reason for it.

Communication is the foundation of trust.

Either discuss & invite the wife (if you are into that, I'm not) or be glad for that which you have.

BTW - Have you looked at your wife lately? No, I mean really looked at her.
Yehhhh like that. now - WHAT ARE YOU FUCKIN NUTS?

Don't be an asshole - How would you feel if she did it to you? Take that into consideration and then ... Don't be an asshole.

I do want to continue to be happy and i have never cheated ever not even on a girlfriend. And it wasnt a conversation. It was an email stating that it would all be taken care of. I had said hi on occassions to this woman before but never did actually have a conversation. The email came out of nowhere.

No im not into "that" im not much for sharing. You know what classic i havent done that in a while. I believe you are right!!! And I dont want to be "that Guy" And im definetely not an asshole and i would prob feel like shiat if she were doing that to me. i think its just taking me for a ride because i have never gotten attention like this before.

Hmm Kinda ironic that i just said that i didnt want to be "that guy" and my screen name is that guy. Damn it!...epic fail.

So, ahh, what job is this? I might need to change careers.

I hate it when I accidently send the wrong person an e-mail............So I always check it before I send it at least 3 times........Not everyone does that.

Cheating while already happy with the person you're with? Sounds like a fast track to unhappy.

Do you send it three times just to make sure they got it? :p

If your cock was an inch longer, you could get some strange at home...

dammit jim... you owe me a new keyboard. thatguy, i think you've gotten some great advice here. if you're happy at home but you are still finding yourself in this position then you're probably just experiencing the "it feels good to know you're still desireable" rush. get over it.

if you're an absolute stud and make her eyes roll you'll enjoy, what? a couple hours with the email chick? please. weigh that against a lifetime of knowing you are "that guy" and spending day after day hoping and praying that the woman you love doesn't find out.

close your eyes and rub one out. enjoy your guilt. then take your wife who you love to dinner and try to look at her the same way you did the third time you met her. your future self thanks you.

Nothing wrong with enjoying one-sided attention, but dammit man, haven't you ever seen Fatal Attraction? That shit really happens!

Well, maybe not always the bunny-boiling, knife-wielding situation. But things could turn weird. The seemingly off-hand, no-strings-attached encounter you may choose to pursue could easily turn you into a stalker victim--perhaps fueled by your "unavailability" as a married person.

If you really do love your wife and your life with her, the price you could pay is just not worth destroying that.

What follows is a really, really bad idea, but maybe a little funny, so I thought I would share it.

Google yourself. Find someone with the same, or very similar name to yours. Get them in on the plot. Set up a tryst with the email chick. Send your namesake in your place.
He gets laid (maybe) and can insist he received the email and assumed, since it was addressed to him, that he presumed it was intended for him.
Email chick gets laid (maybe) and either gets off your back (and onto hers) or gets a lesson in cybermanners.

Don't forget to set up the web-cam and stream it live. Post the link here, please.

<loves Zens evil mind>

A- file for sexual harrassment.

B- start wearing pants to work, ya slut.

There are two kind of people who cheat even when they're happy:

1) They're not really happy
2) They're narcissistic yet insecure psychopaths

Surely attention is interesting, and you're human, but if you're really happy you don't want to mess it all up.

Good luck! :)

Forward the email to her boss. Rest assured, you will never receive another one.

Also, don't be an asshole. Just because it's there doesn't mean it needs fucking.

I do commercial building management work is easy and pays very well. And Jim why are you worried about how long my cock is..........akward dude........... Oh and I get that whole fatal attraction deal. Plus I would hve to see her face everyday and worry if she would tell and stuff. In a way she kind of might have me by the balls if I did it. Cause them she can blackmail me or something. Like....fuck me or I'll tell your wife about everything. And I totally wear pants all the time spexx. But I'm not a slut. More like a retired manwhore. 

Zen dude you have an awesome way of thinking!!! Awesome!!!

That would be some funny shit if I did forward the email to her boss which is the vp of the company. She's actually one of the senior managers there. And your definetely right. Just cause it's there doesn't mean I have to fuck it.

And I took classics advice and took a nice long look at the wife and damn it she's hot!!! So we went out with a few friends last night got smashed came home and some hot passionate sex. I think it was the best sex I've ever had. F-ing awesome!!! So glad now that I married her. Thanks for all the advice. Greatly appreciated. And to think I only came accross this website cause I was looking up stuff about fencing in my yard! Epic win!

bold mine

So glad NOW?

Oh, never mind.

I am not gonna comment about this, because ThatGuy is flirting with me and we all know Im not too fussed with being the *bit of fluff* :p

I didn't mean that I am only glad now. That came out wrong. I'm just curious as to what you look like. I hope that's not a crime......what do you mean by your not to fussed by being the *bit of fluff* ????

Why no I don't!

Why no I don't!

Why no I don't!

ThatGuy, just ask her if she is interested in a threesome and uncomplicate things.

There sure are some confused people here.

That's one way to look at it. Or I do ask for it they both accept and then it gets really fucking complicated.

Unless you are in an open marriage (and the wife is aware that the marriage is open to others) end the marriage BEFORE you cheat.

Just for a moment... Ask yourself what your wife would think if she stumbled upon this conversation. Would she feel that you have the respect and love for her that she thought you did or would she be shocked and deeply hurt that you'd even entertain this line of thought.

As a married woman myself... I can tell you that if I was your wife... I'd already feel betrayed by you... there is a big difference between flirting, fantasy and contemplating bringing it into the reality... that is the line you don't cross if you plan to stay in a happy marriage. You've already crossed that line my friend... which says... no matter how happy you claim to be ... you aren't being honest with yourself about that... and you definitly aren't being honest with your wife.

Raise your hand if you think ThatGuy IS that guy, despite his protesting said title and way of life, and is completely full of shit.

Count one right here. :eyebrow:

Contemplating bringing it into the reality is part of the fantasy. Sure, tell her this chick is propositioning him and she'll either:
1- Freak out, stir up shit and probably get him fired, or
2- somehow twist it around so it's his fault, and throw it in his face during every argument, forever.

Maybe both.

Aww, poor that. If he wants doesn't want to play with the big dogs, he should stay on the porch and enjoy it or quit his fucking salivating and barking.

Really, does he need to be every cliche in the book? Does his wife need be?

HA! :)

Do you think he's a sock puppet for a regular here?

You've either;
1. met his wife
2. or you just have a really low opinion of women in general.

the latter is my vote

I've had a lot of experience watching married couples interact, and seen it happen over and over.

You should interact with actual real human married couples. Again, cliche.

Sure, good luck finding it, but it's evident in many people I know: mutual respect and consideration.

It takes 2 people to have a bad relationship - just like it takes 2 people to have a good one.

If he was still in fantasy mode we wouldn't be having this conversation... he wouldn't have felt the need to start the thread. IF it was just part of the fantasy he wouldn't be here reaching out for help or for approval... clearly he feels a certain amount of guilt already.

I personally would have no issue if my hubby said some coworker wanted to do him and he jacked off in the bathroom thinking about it (but thats just me)... what I would have an issue with is if he found himself faced with the moral delimma of acting upon it. Why not tell the wife and let her share in the fantasy... leave the co-worker out of it and not dignify the offer by giving it any attention. Keep it profesional and if approached again make it very clear you are happily married and are not availible.

pooka is smart


i'm gonna go jack off to how smart she is right now.

but um....hey.....don't tell jinx, ok?

Yabbut, you'll probably tell her anyway. JINX? Jim is a'cheatin'. :lol:

Couples all about honesty. There should be a club!

What makes you so sure he reaching out for help or approval? How do you know he isn't bragging?
The chick propositioned him and he didn't take her up on it so he can't claim a conquest, but he can claim the proposition for partial credit.
But how does one do that? Hey, how about asking for advice.:idea:
It's been done before, of course it's usually verbal, and not on a board, but often enough that I recognize the possibility.

Actually, I agree with Bruce on this one. Coming here and discussing it, asking advice and 'contemplating it' seems to me just a way of wallowing in the fantasy. Extending it out and savouring the feeling of being hit on, without actually acting on it.

If nothing's been done to make it real then there's been no betrayal.

I disagree with his assessment of the inevitability of trouble if it's raised though. Not every woman reacts the same way and it's grossly unfair to suggest it.

I was willing to give thatguy the benefit of the doubt. But then

So glad you realized your wife is hot...otherwise what would there be to admire?

Here, he wasn't even sure if he was talking to me or to Ducks.

Attention-whoring. Plain and simple. Thisguy will spend his whole life preening and cheating.

Cliche.

He doesn't appear to have cheated. There's nothing wrong with a bit of preening. Harmless flirting online? Come on, You're being overly harsh.

And reaquainting himself with how 'hot' is wife is? I think that's great. replace the word 'hot' with attractive. This guy has reminded himself how attractive his wife is to him. A fact that can get easily lost in the maelstrom of day to day married life. I still don't see how that makes him any kind of a bastard.

I was being my typical self, wallowing in hyperbole, but I still feel this is true in a smaller sense.

Some people will never be happy without constant ego strokes. The pattern is quite clear, having seen it a hundred times: when the spouse's ego strokes no longer suffice, the needy one will find other avenues.

It's a story as old as the hills, and I didn't write it.

Better we should say "awwww, poor thatguy. We know your dick is hard and it's OK, because you are just a guy and incapable of restraint."

I guess I expect more from a man than the cliched Pavlovian response. I find there are men who are much more than drooling stupid puppies.

Or, as pointed out, he's not really happy. *shrugs* Happy relationships don't require other people slapping your hand and saying "No, don't cheat, bad boy, don't cheat."

I've seen nothing to tell me this situation is otherwise.

So I'm harsh. Sue me.

Bastard? That was your word, not mine. :headshake

What kind of woman does that?

Will she tie him up nakid? take pictures? then blackmail? heh heh

Now I could see that kind of set up... but to pay just for a tryst? If she got her target right she could have just asked him to set it up and got the same result plus saved herself some money.
It would have to be very important to her or she's rich and bored.

No i havent done anything....and wont be doing anything. And yes we did reconnect again that night we went out. and when i said hot it wasnt just in the physical form i meant it as an all around package she is hot. We used to watch sports together and go out all the time but lately we've just been doing our own thing and it had gotten kind of boring this was something we actually sat down and talked about this weekend. So things are good and back to normal. And i am actually writing all of this from work. Cause its a slow monday. And i did see that chick again in the hallway and asked me what my answer was and i said no. And that it would never happen and that i would appreciate it if something like this never happens again. i wanted to be nice yet firm so that she knew i was serious but not to piss her off so that things didnt get stupid and she tries to get me in trouble some kind of way. And i dont think i have ever been an attention whore ever in my life i just wanted to know if anyone had ever had something like this happen to them. I am happy with what i got and satisfied if not i would have never started this and would have just slept with that other women and thats that but i didnt. Its hard to explain but i am happy and everything was going pretty well except for a few things but i just felt like driving the happy bus off the cliff? I'm sure i am not the only one who thats ever happened too????

I'm pretty sure you aren't :P

Oh and by the way just recieved an email from "her" after we talked in the hallway stating that if this ever comes up in anyway shape or form that she will do whatever it takes to screw me over. WTF! So yeah you were asking what kind of woman does that...i'll tell you a what kind a pissed off one that didnt get her way. Now i am kinda freaking out a bit. Time for a smoke...........

Well, you can either let her hang you by your jewels for the rest of your time at that company which may be painful and short, or you can take those emails to HR. CYA. That is, of course, if you really truly didn't behave inappropriately enough to get your own ass slammed.