Things You Never See or Hear
 

Both from George Carlin

Something you never see: A grown man, naked, running full-speed, taking a shit.

Something you never hear: "Right after I chop my dick off, I'm going to stick this red-hot poker up my ass."

"Hand me that piano"

"Do what you want with the girl, but leave me alone"

"Why, yes, I would like another glass of cyanide."

'Anyone want a piece of pre-chewed gum?'

Unless perhaps attributed to Rasputin.

You know that Lumberjim? What a small head!

No we were wrong the Earth is flat- president of physics

"I was wrong" - TW

what the crap?

HA HA HA HA @ LO123

"Here are your honor cords, Miss B."

"Lookout123, you are very compassionate"

You've got a better chance of hearing that than tw admitting he was wrong. I helped an old lady across the street once and she might still be alive.

Things you shouldn't ever see or hear...

Here, lemme just use your jacket to wipe my nose.

You never see pictures from Brianna, Radar hitting the tipjar, Spexxvet being likeable, Clodfobble on a sans kids vacation or me being a bitch :p

You never hear the tree falling in the forest.

one of these things is not like the others

orly? Are you being a discriminator?

Would you like pigeon for dinner?


....and if you go to a restaurant and order squab what is that bird on your plate?

it's a shark.



(tastes like chicken).

I thought I saw that on Bugs Bunny. Ever since then, Elmer Fudd said, "Whooo. What was wat."

What?

Damn, TW was funny on 30 Janury and I missed it.
Still, it's nice to enjoy it retrospectively.

I never see a poem lovely as a tree.

I never hear, "Bri! YOU"VE WON THE LOTTERY!" - though that's probably because I don't play.

Buy duct tape and plastic wrap to seal your self into a room in case of a drone airplane attack spraying toxic chemicals in the air.

oh wait! :smack:

Free tires made in china...oh and drywall too.